U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-29-2019, 11:17 AM
 
533 posts, read 248,505 times
Reputation: 2150

Advertisements

My late in-laws had little interests or hobbies beyond focusing on their adult children and grandchildren. It sure was hard for me living under that microscope. Luckily as we were military we didn't live in the same town but visits were rough for me.

The thing that I'm taking away from this thread is not the devotion that some people show to their grandchildren that is annoying, but rather those who constantly talk and brag about them.

We all think our grands are special but recognize that others feel the same about theirs. No one wants to hear non stop about how superior and wonderful your grand kids are.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-29-2019, 11:23 AM
 
Location: OHIO
2,351 posts, read 1,073,565 times
Reputation: 5377
People like family
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2019, 11:46 AM
 
1,558 posts, read 774,567 times
Reputation: 6784
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanseej View Post
I'm at an age where my peers all have grandchildren. One has a great grand.
I have no grandchildren. Never wanted any and will never have any. I was not close with my own grandparents. I'm not patient with children, and have no interest in them.

These women are very invested in their GC. All conversations will quickly become about who had babies or is starting school or other activities. They try to show me pictures. And of course social media posts are filled with this fascination. Many of these women do other things. But they fit it in around the GC.

What is the big deal about your son's or daughter's children?
I think in many cases, women (and sometimes men) who really enjoyed their kids and parenthood tend to be more involved and doting grandparents. Especially if they also have a really close relationship with their own kids and kid's spouses. We know several people where the wives entire lives revolve around them and they refuse to go on trips and generally do stuff with their husbands because the grandkids come first. And a few where both grandparents are up to their eyeballs in grandkids and activities and babysitting and weekends and on and on.

Others, like my SIL, even move to be close to young grandkids and babysit all week. I can't relate to any of that because I never really enjoyed children and spending time with them is not rewarding to me. And I know they can't relate to me because they love kids and derive lots of pleasure from their company. My two best friends are similar to me, one childfree and therefore no grandkids, and the other not very interested in kids either, so no annoying grandkid stories or photos to deal with. It's probably best to find those who are similar to you and stick with them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2019, 12:07 PM
 
73 posts, read 41,731 times
Reputation: 153
I didnít realize that was how it was going to be or I would have had second thoughts. I still had a good time doing my own thing. Lesson learned believe me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
So why did you go, knowing what you know?
Quote:
Originally Posted by PCakes572 View Post
I just spent 6 days at the beach w/a friend whose daughter and 4 grandkids live nearby. They came around or, she went to them, almost the whole time I was there so, I made myself scarce most of the time. As a single, woman w/out children, being around other peopleís kids is not my idea of an ideal vacation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2019, 12:29 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,768 posts, read 4,822,990 times
Reputation: 19387
Whether it's kids, grandkids, aches and pains, or other medical issues, some people just don't have that much else to talk about and can't imagine that others aren't interested in the minutia of their grandkids lives, or their latest surgery, etc. Most people would rather have a short update and then talk about other things, a VARIETY of things, not just beating the same old drum, over and over for hours.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2019, 01:21 PM
 
659 posts, read 324,279 times
Reputation: 1974
Grand and GreatGrandchildren are your 3rd and 4th generation of YOU. If you have them and have ever wondered about your purpose in the world, it was to bring forth children and grandchildren who will profoundly affect other peoples lives just by existing. For example, my son lead his team to the State High School Championship. That would have never happened if he were not born and a part of the team. He has so many friends that love him outside of his family.

I only have 2 grandchildren and I dote on them. I don't bore other people with their pictures and talk about them endlesslessly. I have friends with no children and they pretty much live a lonely existance with no family of their own. Their siblings have children but its not the same. They wonder who they will leave their money to. Hopefully a niece or nephew will look out for them as they age.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2019, 01:36 PM
 
6,521 posts, read 2,355,719 times
Reputation: 14982
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Sometimes I just change the subject, but obsessed grandparents can be amusing. A friend with grandchildren is proud of them, but she goes overboard. One grandson plays baseball. She attends every game, which is great, but then I have to hear a blow-by-blow of some high school baseball game. Of course, as she says, her grandson "really carries the whole team".

Then the other grandson loves to perform and was in the school musical. Of course, "his voice is so much better and stronger than most of the other kids. You can hear him more clearly singing in the chorus than any other kid."

I just smile and have another glass of wine. I've met these kids, and they are nice kids.

The one I had difficulty with, though, was the oldest grandson. She has always gone on and on about him. He was born to her daughter when she was quite young, and she helped her daughter raise him. He excelled at everything, apparently, school, sports, yada yada yada. Then he went into the military and did a couple of tours in Afghanistan and was promoted to sergeant, and now he is out and married and has two wonderful kids and a great job.

After years of hearing about this guy, I finally met him when he came from out of state to visit. He is a complete and total jackass, rude to his parents, his grandmother, and ME, whom he had just met. Self-important moron.

Love covers a lot of defects.

I think that this isn't necessarily just a grandparent/grandchild thing. LOL I work with a woman who's like that about her teenage sons. Posting pictures of her sons' basketball games and so forth. Hey...I'm a mom, and I'd be proud too...I get it. Even though I'm not interested. lol


I don't know...we invest so much love in to our familial relationships, we're happy when they're happy, proud when they're proud, etc. It makes me happy when my grandaughters ask to spend time with me. (the boys don't so much. lol)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2019, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
21,865 posts, read 21,703,455 times
Reputation: 21472
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanseej View Post
I'm at an age where my peers all have grandchildren. One has a great grand.
I have no grandchildren. Never wanted any and will never have any. I was not close with my own grandparents. I'm not patient with children, and have no interest in them.

These women are very invested in their GC. All conversations will quickly become about who had babies or is starting school or other activities. They try to show me pictures. And of course social media posts are filled with this fascination. Many of these women do other things. But they fit it in around the GC.

What is the big deal about your son's or daughter's children?
I was close to my grands. My mother was a wonderful loving person. I am patient with children and have an interest in them. My grandchildren (2) are my family and I love them. How is that hard to understand.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2019, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
21,865 posts, read 21,703,455 times
Reputation: 21472
Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Yes, exactly.
But as has been said also, non-stop talking about kids or grandkids, IS boring. It is like one is living one's life through the lives of their children. The should get a life of their own and fill it with other things - hobbies, reading, volunteer.
Yes that could be said for several things. I know people who constantly talk about their dog or cat or work or politics or God.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2019, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,685 posts, read 8,468,648 times
Reputation: 29357
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanseej View Post
I'm at an age where my peers all have grandchildren. One has a great grand.
I have no grandchildren. Never wanted any and will never have any. I was not close with my own grandparents. I'm not patient with children, and have no interest in them.

These women are very invested in their GC. All conversations will quickly become about who had babies or is starting school or other activities. They try to show me pictures. And of course social media posts are filled with this fascination. Many of these women do other things. But they fit it in around the GC.

What is the big deal about your son's or daughter's children?
The fact that they aren't your own.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top