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Old 04-29-2019, 02:41 PM
 
544 posts, read 252,475 times
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I am involved in multiple activities and am attracted to other retirees who are similarly involved in activities that they are passionate about.

As I have nothing in common with women whose lives revolve around their adult children and grandchildren, I agree with whoever said upthread that it's best to stick with those who have similar lifestyles.
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Old 04-29-2019, 04:05 PM
 
15,323 posts, read 4,047,808 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tijlover View Post
When my sister started having grandkids, me and my brother completely vanished from her radar screen, maybe even her husband and 4 children. They're like little gods to her.

I'm Gay, so no children and no grandkids! What will I be missing?
Many people don't know what they miss...and that's fine too. My bro isn't married, doesn't have kids and doesn't really like them much.

However - there is another part of this which is historical and that is what my mom told my bro "you won't have anyone to take care of you and keep you company when you get old"....

As Adults most of us make these calculations in with all the other ones. Not to say anything is guaranteed, but when you have friendly relations with your relations you are more likely to have people who care when the chit hits the fan...if it does.
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Old 04-29-2019, 05:02 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,646,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nefret View Post
My late in-laws had little interests or hobbies beyond focusing on their adult children and grandchildren. It sure was hard for me living under that microscope. Luckily as we were military we didn't live in the same town but visits were rough for me.

The thing that I'm taking away from this thread is not the devotion that some people show to their grandchildren that is annoying, but rather those who constantly talk and brag about them.

We all think our grands are special but recognize that others feel the same about theirs. No one wants to hear non stop about how superior and wonderful your grand kids are.
absolutely I don't even share pics of my grandchildren with my friends who have grandchildren, we have other things to discuss I couldn't hang out frequently with anybody who spent all their time talking about their children or grandchildren.

Interestingly we have a lot of interests and hobbies and it's my dil who has NONE, which I find difficult BUt we have the children in common, and she enjoys my Sunday dinner once a week.
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Old 04-29-2019, 05:06 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,646,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by craigiri View Post
Many people don't know what they miss...and that's fine too. My bro isn't married, doesn't have kids and doesn't really like them much.

However - there is another part of this which is historical and that is what my mom told my bro "you won't have anyone to take care of you and keep you company when you get old"....

As Adults most of us make these calculations in with all the other ones. Not to say anything is guaranteed, but when you have friendly relations with your relations you are more likely to have people who care when the chit hits the fan...if it does.
Hum, no, the last thing we want is or our son and his wife to look after us or feel obligated to keep us company. We don't want our son to be burdened or be a burden and we are planning to make sure we have the means to have professional care. I am sure he will care, but the only thing I'd hope my son would need to do is oversee implementing any plans we have set in place.
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Old 04-29-2019, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
1,886 posts, read 1,848,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
I can't speak for the OP, but it's not that I "don't like the idea of grandkids." I know that if I had some, I would love them. What you said makes sense. What I don't understand is the obsession many people (mostly women) have with their grandkids, it's like they can't think or talk about anything else.
So glad to come upon this thread! I don't have any grandchildren and probably won't Would love to have some but it's m y daughter and son in-law's choice. But yes! Most of my peers are retired and that is all they talk about! They are always away visiting one child and grandchildren or another and do not seem to do anything interesting or in my eyes, productive. I know that their grandchildren give them great joy and that is wonderful but I would never want that to be my whole life.
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Old 04-29-2019, 08:08 PM
 
10,212 posts, read 4,079,456 times
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This is such an interesting topic.

Yes, the grandmothers of today are completely and passionately grandmothers.

They were completely and passionately career women.

And completely and passionately mothers, researching preschools and schools and colleges, devoting huge parts of their time to getting the very best for their children. Driving them to piano lessons and soccer practices. Proofreading their college admission essays.

Is it any wonder they plunge headlong, and passionately, into the role of grandparent?
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Old 04-29-2019, 08:30 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,563 posts, read 3,670,991 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nefret View Post
As I have nothing in common with women whose lives revolve around their adult children and grandchildren, .
Same here pretty much.

I can't be around grandmothers who talk non-stop about their grandchild and are overly and obsessively involved in the grandchild's life. There is something unhealthy about it with some of them.
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Old 04-29-2019, 08:39 PM
 
1,062 posts, read 1,346,945 times
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Originally Posted by Nanseej View Post
I'm at an age where my peers all have grandchildren. One has a great grand.
I have no grandchildren. Never wanted any and will never have any. I was not close with my own grandparents. I'm not patient with children, and have no interest in them.

These women are very invested in their GC. All conversations will quickly become about who had babies or is starting school or other activities. They try to show me pictures. And of course social media posts are filled with this fascination. Many of these women do other things. But they fit it in around the GC.

What is the big deal about your son's or daughter's children?
Strong question.

I'm uncertain of the fascination with children in general.
Burdens (via textbook definition) and considering the ROI- often time poor business investments.
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Old 04-29-2019, 08:41 PM
 
6,523 posts, read 4,090,047 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
This is such an interesting topic.

Yes, the grandmothers of today are completely and passionately grandmothers.

They were completely and passionately career women.

And completely and passionately mothers, researching preschools and schools and colleges, devoting huge parts of their time to getting the very best for their children. Driving them to piano lessons and soccer practices. Proofreading their college admission essays.

Is it any wonder they plunge headlong, and passionately, into the role of grandparent?
I don't care at all that they are passionately interested in their grandchildren. Good for them. I just wonder why they don't realize that all their friends are not as passionate about, perhaps not even mildly interested in, someone else's grandchildren.

I'm sure other grandparents get it. Not being one, when Grandma posts 12 photos with captions like "Seriously, these are the cutest kids on the the planet!" or "I'm the luckiest MiMi EVER!" (to use actual quotes from a FB "friend"), I feel a little embarrassed for her. Especially when the kids aren't even that cute.

Last edited by saibot; 04-29-2019 at 08:53 PM..
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Old 04-29-2019, 09:14 PM
 
1,293 posts, read 949,735 times
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They are our only hope for vindication.
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