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Old 04-27-2019, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,170 posts, read 11,774,111 times
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There's an expression that grandchildren are the reward for raising your child(ren) - all the love, all the fun, and (mostly) none of the responsibility.

I think that someone who never wanted kids or grandkids simply wouldn't be able to understand the attraction, the same way that someone who hates football doesn't understand why so many people are avid fans. Different strokes for different folks.
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Old 04-27-2019, 04:41 PM
 
3,102 posts, read 1,719,273 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
There's an expression that grandchildren are the reward for raising your child(ren) - all the love, all the fun, and (mostly) none of the responsibility.

I think that someone who never wanted kids or grandkids simply wouldn't be able to understand the attraction, the same way that someone who hates football doesn't understand why so many people are avid fans. Different strokes for different folks.
Yes, exactly.
But as has been said also, non-stop talking about kids or grandkids, IS boring. It is like one is living one's life through the lives of their children. The should get a life of their own and fill it with other things - hobbies, reading, volunteer.
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Old 04-27-2019, 04:43 PM
 
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I love my ten grandchildren! They're not things, they are growing little people! As such, each one is unique. With each one, my heart truly exploded with more love than I could imagine, and I'm not trying to be weird or corny here, it really is the truth. Three of ours were even adopted out of foster care and have special needs, one requiring psychiatric hospitalization at times, doesn't matter, I love them all. It's real.

I don't talk about them all the time, I work and have plenty of my own things to deal with, but any time with them is precious. I also don't spoil or buy much for any of them, their parents do plenty of that.

I really loved the two grandparents that I got to spend the most time with. I'm not sure I can measure up, I have such loving memories of them both.

OP, I have a cousin who never had children. When she came to visit years ago, I could tell she wasn't the least bit interested in what my kids were doing. She was interested in her dogs and going places to drink wine, and I don't get any of that. It's just different.
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Old 04-27-2019, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,170 posts, read 11,774,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Yes, exactly.
But as has been said also, non-stop talking about kids or grandkids, IS boring. It is like one is living one's life through the lives of their children. The should get a life of their own and fill it with other things - hobbies, reading, volunteer.
Oh, I agree! The same way that people who only talk any singular particular interest or hobby is going to be boring to others. Hopefully there is some give and take between friends, but anyone who wants to keep a friendship one sided, focused only on what they personally find of interest, isn't really a very good friend anyway.
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Old 04-27-2019, 05:05 PM
 
533 posts, read 249,665 times
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The women I know are very busy in retirement with various activities. We talk very little about our grandchildren.

I think we realize that we are all interested in our own grandchildren but have little or no interest in other people's grands. I know I'm really not interested in looking at pictures or hearing about the accomplishments of kids that I don't even know.
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Old 04-27-2019, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Midwest
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Originally Posted by BabyBear1234 View Post
I think it's because grandkids generally have all the positives of children and non of the negatives...I love my kids but I honestly I can't wait to be a grandma either lol! no worrying about homework/school, illness, lack of sleep etc..just the fun of "spoiling" them! I can't wait!
I have heard this as well. And this makes sense to me. Parenting is a lot of work and it takes intentional effort to spend fun time with your children. There are so many other demands on a parent's time and energy. These grandmothers are almost all retired. Their time is more flexible.
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Old 04-27-2019, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Midwest
42 posts, read 13,728 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nefret View Post
The women I know are very busy in retirement with various activities. We talk very little about our grandchildren.

I think we realize that we are all interested in our own grandchildren but have little or no interest in other people's grands. I know I'm really not interested in looking at pictures or hearing about the accomplishments of kids that I don't even know.
Thank you! I want to know THESE women.
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Old 04-27-2019, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
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I think it's just something that those of us who aren't grandparents just can't understand because you have to experience it to know what it's like.

I have one friend who is all about her grandson. She had two marriages that didn't work out, and she has a son who gave her some problems but seems OK now, and he has a son about eight years old.

She loves this kid. When you see her, you know you will have to look at a few pictures, even though there's nothing unique about him to anyone else that would allow you to pick him out in a crowd or anything, but there is to her. She tells you all the cute things he says. Eventually, she will move on to other conversation, but it's obvious that this kid is the most important thing in her life, and that's OK. I can only surmise that after the bad marriages and the difficulties raising the son, she has a special relationship with this little person that brings her nothing but joy and love. So, good for her.

My sister has five grandkids, but she doesn't go on about them. She wasn't really a motherly type with her daughter, and she's not a grandmotherly type with the kids, although she does love them. They aren't the main focus of her life, though.
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Old 04-27-2019, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Midwest
42 posts, read 13,728 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG View Post
...
OP, I have a cousin who never had children. When she came to visit years ago, I could tell she wasn't the least bit interested in what my kids were doing. She was interested in her dogs and going places to drink wine, and I don't get any of that. It's just different.
Its good that you recognized your cousin's lack of interest. I hope it didn't dampen your time together.
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Old 04-27-2019, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Midwest
42 posts, read 13,728 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayekaye View Post
If you donít like the idea of grandkids nothing we say will change your mind. But those of us who love them nothing can change our minds. I think that itís watching them grow knowing Iím not in charge of them, makes me love them and pray for them to be safe and loved.
Changing minds? I don't know where that came from. Thanks for your reply.
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