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Old 04-27-2019, 05:31 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,645,249 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanseej View Post
I'm at an age where my peers all have grandchildren. One has a great grand.
I have no grandchildren. Never wanted any and will never have any. I was not close with my own grandparents. I'm not patient with children, and have no interest in them.

These women are very invested in their GC. All conversations will quickly become about who had babies or is starting school or other activities. They try to show me pictures. And of course social media posts are filled with this fascination. Many of these women do other things. But they fit it in around the GC.

What is the big deal about your son's or daughter's children?

Err because some of us love our grandchildren, however I have about as much interest in seeing other people’s grandchildren photos as you do. I rarely show pics of my grandchildren on fb for a variety of reasons, and wouldn’t think of boring my friends or strangers with stories or pics. They are a precious part of our lives, and we have fun with them but “part” is the key word. Our son and his wife need their space as much as we need ours

I had a solution for a child free friend who was getting sick of a coworker showing pics of her grands all the time. The co worker knew my friend wasn’t childless by choice and that it was a source of pain,so it seemed very insensitive . The trick worked a treat. Everytime this woman would whip out a pic of her grand my friend would show a pic of her very much loved pet catching a ball, or her pooch wearing a funny hat, or her pooch asleep etc.
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Old 04-27-2019, 05:46 PM
 
819 posts, read 214,967 times
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I think some people connect and bond with children more so than others and get a special joy in doing things with them. They assume most people are like them. I had someone say to me you probably can't wait until you get grandchildren. I said I could be happy either way so I can appreciate that not everyone is interested in hearing about grandchildren.
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Old 04-27-2019, 05:57 PM
 
101 posts, read 29,427 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
I hear this a lot, but I have also heard young parents complain that the grandparents love to "spoil" their children by doing things like feeding them sweets, buying them lavish gifts, and letting them stay up late, and the parents are supposed to cheerfully put up with the negative consequences of these actions. It seems really unfair and selfish of the grandparents. I would have hated to be undermined this way.

Oh I agree! As a mother, it's definitely annoying when it happens regularly. I hope that if I ever do become a grandma, that I will always be respectful of my kids and try to honor their requests if I watch the grandkids. I was lucky that my mother in law was always respectful of my wishes. She loved her grandkids and just enjoyed all the time she had with them.
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Old 04-27-2019, 06:10 PM
 
5,440 posts, read 2,833,486 times
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Hearing that someone just became a grandparent, or that a grandchild graduated from college, or another major milestone does not bore me.

What I turn a deaf ear to is details about poopie habits, screaming meemie toddler fits, grade report cards, or other mundane things only another parent or grandparent *might* identify with and *might* consider interesting about *someone else’s* kid/grandkid.

The development of other people’s children just isn’t fascinating to most other people unless their own kids are going through the same stages.

There are occasionally exceptions. A former neighbor’s very young baby—I mean less than a year old—saw our dog whom we told her the name of. The name had three syllables. This tiny girl immediately repeated the name, with some difficulty pronouncing a consonant that is not common. But she substituted one that was commonly used and similar enough I knew she was trying to make this new sound. I had never, ever heard such a young baby say any word beyond two simple, usually repetitive (e.g., dada or mama) syllables. Never mind three distinctly different syllables of a proper noun. Precociousness sticks out like a sore thumb even to nonparents.

Other than that—nope, not fascinated. But it has nothing to do with grandkids per se. It has to do with not being enamored of little kids, period.
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Old 04-27-2019, 06:13 PM
 
2,104 posts, read 720,268 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Yes, exactly.
But as has been said also, non-stop talking about kids or grandkids, IS boring. It is like one is living one's life through the lives of their children. The should get a life of their own and fill it with other things - hobbies, reading, volunteer.
That's my feeling, I have 2, soon to be 3, and I'm THRILLED to be a grandmother- but I'm also active in my church and in Toastmasters, just booked a cruise to the Galapagos, am a member of the local Garden Club, and am dating a great guy. (Oh, yeah- he loves HIS grandchildren, too, but of course mine are cuter and smarter.) All of our grandkids are out of town and that may help explain why we don't make a career of them.

Of course they're special. I loved raising DS and watching him grow and learn things so of course I'm having the same fun with his kids- minus the responsibility. I try to follow DS and DDIL's lead when it comes to what I feed them (although they let me indulge them with small amounts of empty calories) and make sure it's OK with them before I let them try something new like holding a lit sparkler. They're doing a good job and I don't want to work against them. DDIL's side gives them toys and stuffed animals; I do experiences and typically it's something with the whole family. They're not my whole life, though.
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Old 04-27-2019, 07:14 PM
 
356 posts, read 83,876 times
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Glad to see that after the childfree posts have slowed down we've now moved on to grandchildren dislike.

Good grief, so much disdain....
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Old 04-27-2019, 07:17 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,668 posts, read 74,637,859 times
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It’s similar to falling in love getting married or first born
An intense emotional experience which was never intended to be the beginning and end of life
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Old 04-27-2019, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Midwest
42 posts, read 13,838 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maduro lonsdale View Post
Glad to see that after the childfree posts have slowed down we've now moved on to grandchildren dislike.

Good grief, so much disdain....
Disdain? OK, if you say so.
I'm glad to learn that my friends' approach to grandparenting isn't universal. Some people find more of a balance. And some people recognize that their love and interest in their GC is not shared by non relatives.
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Old 04-27-2019, 08:34 PM
 
6,040 posts, read 4,438,480 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanseej View Post
Disdain? OK, if you say so.
I'm glad to learn that my friends' approach to grandparenting isn't universal. Some people find more of a balance. And some people recognize that their love and interest in their GC is not shared by non relatives.
Glad CD helped you understand the world better.
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Old 04-27-2019, 09:48 PM
 
20,156 posts, read 11,172,468 times
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Back in old Hawaii, it was the grandparents who raised the children: "You are too young and dumb to know how to raise children. Watch us, then when you are grandparents, you can raise your grandchildren."

In my childhood, my parents were busy earning a living.

My grandparents were important in my life because they had the time to teach me how to be a functioning, effective, strong, moral, useful human being.
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