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Old 04-28-2019, 07:00 PM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,049,308 times
Reputation: 12810

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Quote:
Originally Posted by craigiri View Post
You should try doing ancestry.com DNA tests and then a bit of further probing.

You will likely find out a lot about yourself and your line - probably good things mostly! It is truly amazing how many traits pass down within our DNA or RDNA or somehow else (all of this is not yet perfected, but we know that many many things are burnt into our genes).

My wife has gone nuts into Ancestry.com. There is no end to it....but it's a good obsession.

On my own side, I can give this little anecdote. My fathers family was mostly murdered in the Holocaust - so we knew absolutely nothing other than his father who was sent over here beforehand at 16 (alone).

Now, through DNA and other relatives, we have found some records of "back there". Some of them are even books or diaries detailing each and every personality in the little town! Priceless. Well, it turns out that my Great Grandfather was known especially for his charity. The few mentions of him say this outright...

Now - here I am. I was the kid at camp that, when I received a package of goodies from home, opened them up and shared them with the entire bunk of kids. In fact, I did so to such a degree that I was actually chastised sometimes by the counselors as American society generally considers that a bit of "greed is good".

I also was the guy who paid my employees much more than the going rate, etc.

Even my Dad, who is still alive, is known for giving free advice, support, loans and other such things to people.

Fantastic....to know that it came from somewhere. The fact that we had no idea it was burnt in is even more interesting.

Many such traits - the "teaching" gene, the "music" gene, the "leave me alone in nature" gene....these things you are likely to discover if you journey backwards.

I hope you can take this trip!
I do have an account on Ancestry. I've done my DNA and my mom's and several other family members. I love it. I have over 2000 people on my tree. I've met so many people on both sides. I love it. I also feel that i have a deep connection with my paternal great grandfather. I was able to find pictures of him too. And the records from Mexico are also a big help. Very detailed.
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Old 04-28-2019, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Cary NC
1,049 posts, read 1,436,340 times
Reputation: 2428
I would rather hear about someone's grandchildren and see pictures than hear about their latest surgery or ailments.
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Old 04-28-2019, 07:56 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,641,304 times
Reputation: 13548
Quote:
Originally Posted by pumpkin5 View Post
I would rather hear about someone's grandchildren and see pictures than hear about their latest surgery or ailments.
Id rather not subject myself to any of that eek! Perhaps having little time to try and make new friends in my new state has its perks
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Old 04-28-2019, 08:01 PM
 
3,096 posts, read 1,717,786 times
Reputation: 3479
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nefret View Post
The women I know are very busy in retirement with various activities. We talk very little about our grandchildren.

I think we realize that we are all interested in our own grandchildren but have little or no interest in other people's grands. I know I'm really not interested in looking at pictures or hearing about the accomplishments of kids that I don't even know.
Exactly. I love my grands, look at their pictures fondly every time I see them on my walls, but summon up all my good manners and kindness to feign interest in others kids who I have never met.
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Old 04-28-2019, 08:56 PM
 
5,416 posts, read 2,819,339 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pumpkin5 View Post
I would rather hear about someone's grandchildren and see pictures than hear about their latest surgery or ailments.
A little about either (or both) is fine. A lot of either is boring.
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Old 04-28-2019, 10:54 PM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
9,133 posts, read 2,998,035 times
Reputation: 13777
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanseej View Post
I'm at an age where my peers all have grandchildren. One has a great grand.
I have no grandchildren. Never wanted any and will never have any. I was not close with my own grandparents. I'm not patient with children, and have no interest in them.

These women are very invested in their GC. All conversations will quickly become about who had babies or is starting school or other activities. They try to show me pictures. And of course social media posts are filled with this fascination. Many of these women do other things. But they fit it in around the GC.

What is the big deal about your son's or daughter's children?
If people have had poor or only mediocre success in their own lives, grandchildren may represent their hope for the future of their families-----that they will fulfill the hopes they once had for themselves, but did not achieve. Or it could be the opposite, if they have had great success and want their grandchildren to do the same. If your children and grandchildren do as well or better than you, it affirms the essence of your life.
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Old 04-28-2019, 11:48 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,083 posts, read 22,934,448 times
Reputation: 35202
Even when I was young and me and my friends had kids, I hated sitting around with the women who only ever talked about parenting. I used to find excuses to go hang out with the men who were talking about interesting things.

I also don't enjoy facebook and don't follow friends who constantly post pics of their kids and grandkids. The idea of a "friend" just seems to be changing to where the definition is really "fan." Someone posts pics of themselves and their "fans" are supposed to applaud. Instead of a true friend who would actually call you and ask you about yourself.

So, yeah, I don't care about stories about diapers or spit-up, and I want to be asked how I am, not be expected to ooh and aww constantly.
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Old 04-29-2019, 12:52 AM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
10,772 posts, read 10,180,494 times
Reputation: 14294
my inlaws LOVE their grandchildren. they talk about them all of the time. as their mother, i don't mind that and I cherish that they feel that way about them. maybe if you did have doting grandparents (for me, grandPARENT), then you'd see things differently and not feel so negative about a harmless thing. In fact, I encourage my daughters to spend time with their grandparents. They aren't going to be here forever and the memories are priceless. My daughters were lucky enough to have their gread grandmother with them until last year when she died at 92.

if you don't like children or care for them, you'd never understand. young children many times elicit positive feelings in many elderly people - maybe it reminds them of the bygone times when their children were that young. i know that when my daughters visited a nursing home, the residents lit up whenever they saw them. maybe the grandparents wish they had done things differently (i.e. spend more time), who knows? my grandmother was a second mother to me. she doted on me, made me feel cherished and loved. I was the apple of her eye and when she died, there was a void that could never be filled. mind you, i love my mother dearly as well. at 44, I still miss her terribly.
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Old 04-29-2019, 12:59 AM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
10,772 posts, read 10,180,494 times
Reputation: 14294
Oh and I wanted to add this - my mother in law has many major, one potentially life threatening ailments. It's not that she doesn't have any purpose in life, or that her life is boring, because she gushes over her grandchildren. maybe it's because having them around fills her otherwise pain-filled days with joy and helps her through? She's told me many times how when she has her "bad days" their presence helps her focus on better, more positive things. There was a really dark time when she was almost bedridden. She could have succombed to depression, even with her loving husband at her side. But that carefree joviality of a three year old showing her picture books made her see happiness even under bad circumstances.

sorry, i can't relate to you OP and I'm nowhere near "grand" age either.
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Old 04-29-2019, 04:19 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,752 posts, read 12,715,532 times
Reputation: 16609
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanseej View Post
I'm at an age where my peers all have grandchildren. One has a great grand.
I have no grandchildren. Never wanted any and will never have any. I was not close with my own grandparents. I'm not patient with children, and have no interest in them.

These women are very invested in their GC. All conversations will quickly become about who had babies or is starting school or other activities. They try to show me pictures. And of course social media posts are filled with this fascination. Many of these women do other things. But they fit it in around the GC.

What is the big deal about your son's or daughter's children?
I thought the point was having someone to cook for, buy gifts, brag about, and visit you on holidays. If you don't care about that, then I guess you don't really need grandchildren.
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