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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,683 posts, read 41,557,150 times
Reputation: 41302
I got some “I deserve it” comments when I announced I hooked a new job in my field last month. I definitely appreciated those because it was months of work to get out of the crap hole I was at before. I’d never say that about material crap. I am very anti-consumerism and will do nothing to encourage it.
Well, of course social media fosters the worst kind of attention seeking!
Offhand, I can't think of any 16-year-old who has done something so major as to deserve a car, unless it's someone like Malala Yousafzai, who I believe was nominated for a Nobel prize when she was 16.
Would your opinion of this specific situation change if you found out:
- the girl had been babysitting, saving/investing, doing oddjobs since age 9 to pay for it, and paid for 100% of it? what about 50%?
- the girl made straight A's in all advanced classes while also essentially raising her 2 siblings because one of her parents is disabled? and the car was for her to not just drive herself and her siblings, but also the disabled parent to doctor's appointments?
does she "deserve" a new car when there are hundreds of millions of kids around the world that are hoping to get a meal today? probably not.
but it's just a nice thing to say.
you don't think all girls actually think all other girls are "so pretty" when they comment that in their friends' profiles, do you?
I notice sometimes on Facebook or other media, I see people posting pictures of their new car, house etc. In the comments I invariably see "You deserve it!"
Recently I saw a post on Facebook where parents surprised their 16 year old daugher with a new Honda Accord. It was close to new if not. In comments I saw that same comment "You deserve it". And maybe, the daughter paid for part of it, maybe she worked for it, it's really not my business.
But I can tell you at 16 a new car was not even a thought. I got my first car, 10 years old at 21. I guess you could say my family bought it, I saved most of my birthday money for years, and my parents paid for a bit of it and I used that to pay it on cash. It was not fancy, but I was proud of it. When it was time to trade it in this year, I got a 2 year old used car but nicer this time. But this time I paid the down payment with my money and pay my own payments.
I don't think a 16 year old needs a new fancy car. I certainly never thought I did.
How do you feel about that, has anyone said that to you, were there cases where you think you did deserve it?
I guess at times I've felt like I've deserved something, like a nice day to myself after a week I thought was stressful, something like that.
I don't think I've ever felt like I deserved material things. Just because I have a job doesn't mean I deserve a house or a new car, I don't think. Although I've never posted about getting a car on Facebook. Do you think we post about these things to feel approval, or importance. Usually when I see these posts they are popular people and get lots of likes and happy comments from them. If I were to do so, I wouldn't get many, because I'm not popular. But that doesn't mean I should feel any less happy for myself, because nobody else noticed, or I didn't get their approval.
Do you think social media can bring a seeking of approval, of being noticed?
Thank you for an amazing post. I'm fascinated. Anyway, I don't see it very attractive to other people. People are using Facebook for their self-promotion, or hating other people. They want to pay attention on theirs lives, with any weapon who they find powerful or attractive. I would like to say that at mine youth days ( I'm grown woman now ) most of the time I used to read books. Anything that would fall at my hands at the library. After some time in further now in near past I come to conclusion that that time was not worth of losing. But .... Now I can find that time WORTH. And I'm grateful that I spend it. I would not change nothing.
You deserve only better and more qualitative life. Nothing else.
Well yes, social media is a great vehicle for seeing approval. But the more interesting question is why does it bother you? I'm getting a whiff of sour grapes.
That's what I'm wondering. I can't be happy, or proud of what I have? I wasn't supposed to show pictures of our new house all those years ago? I wasn't supposed to show off pictures of our new car we bought 2 years ago?
And I'll flip the narrative...why DON'T I deserve the things I have? I don't begrudge others the things THEY have. There are people who live a lifestyle far far above my pay grade...and more power to them. I want them to enjoy their lives...and I want to enjoy mine. (And I will.)
That's what I'm wondering. I can't be happy, or proud of what I have? I wasn't supposed to show pictures of our new house all those years ago? I wasn't supposed to show off pictures of our new car we bought 2 years ago?
And I'll flip the narrative...why DON'T I deserve the things I have? I don't begrudge others the things THEY have. There are people who live a lifestyle far far above my pay grade...and more power to them. I want them to enjoy their lives...and I want to enjoy mine. (And I will.)
That's fine.
I don't like seeing them when i just gave them 100 dollars towards their gofundme for an "emergency" -
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