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Old 04-30-2019, 08:40 PM
 
9,637 posts, read 4,895,696 times
Reputation: 33260

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
Not all used cars are unsafe

Not all new cars are safe

Sure itís their prerogative but my stepson sure as heck isnt getting a brand new car (neither me nor my husband have ever had new cars ... weíre still alive )
Like I said, it doesnít matter if it makes sense to you or not. Thatís just what some people prefer. If you want a used car, you do you. Iím always going to buy new. Neither way is wrong.
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Old 04-30-2019, 10:44 PM
 
4,489 posts, read 1,342,520 times
Reputation: 6293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
Buy her a used car then. Doesn't need a NEW honda, no matter how hard she works.
Should her parents buy her used clothes also? You could say she doesn't need NEW clothes either.

It all comes down to what the parents can afford.

I didn't have any car when I was 16. I had to drive my mom's car. I didn't get my first car til I was 18.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Lol... a car is a car, whatís the difference if itís new or used? Sheís still getting a car at 16.
There's a difference. A big difference. (I think most people are generally talking about 10 year old cars, not used cars that are 2 years old).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
neither me nor my husband have ever had new cars
And this is why you take offense to the 16 year old being given a new car.
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Old 05-01-2019, 06:51 AM
 
4,102 posts, read 3,745,223 times
Reputation: 11219
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsgoingon4 View Post
I notice sometimes on Facebook or other media, I see people posting pictures of their new car, house etc. In the comments I invariably see "You deserve it!"

Recently I saw a post on Facebook where parents surprised their 16 year old daugher with a new Honda Accord. It was close to new if not. In comments I saw that same comment "You deserve it". And maybe, the daughter paid for part of it, maybe she worked for it, it's really not my business.

But I can tell you at 16 a new car was not even a thought. I got my first car, 10 years old at 21. I guess you could say my family bought it, I saved most of my birthday money for years, and my parents paid for a bit of it and I used that to pay it on cash. It was not fancy, but I was proud of it. When it was time to trade it in this year, I got a 2 year old used car but nicer this time. But this time I paid the down payment with my money and pay my own payments.

I don't think a 16 year old needs a new fancy car. I certainly never thought I did.

How do you feel about that, has anyone said that to you, were there cases where you think you did deserve it?

I guess at times I've felt like I've deserved something, like a nice day to myself after a week I thought was stressful, something like that.

I don't think I've ever felt like I deserved material things. Just because I have a job doesn't mean I deserve a house or a new car, I don't think. Although I've never posted about getting a car on Facebook. Do you think we post about these things to feel approval, or importance. Usually when I see these posts they are popular people and get lots of likes and happy comments from them. If I were to do so, I wouldn't get many, because I'm not popular. But that doesn't mean I should feel any less happy for myself, because nobody else noticed, or I didn't get their approval.

Do you think social media can bring a seeking of approval, of being noticed?
I'll never forget a doctor I knew, with an over 200K/yr income, who was so in debt that they were juggling maxed out credit cards and couldn't afford to get out of a criminally high car leasing arrangement (the kind where you are trapped because you cannot afford to pay your way out at the end, and get yourself a different, cheaper, car, because you have nothing for a downpayment). It all began with the ex having told the doc, "You deserve it," so that the doc would pay for a good time. And then the doc couldn't say no to the kids, because obviously they also "deserved" it. So they spent, spent, spent, right to the verge of bankruptcy. The doc's parents bailed the doc out, figuring it as an advance on the inheritance.

From what I could see, there was no change in behavior afterwards. So I guess they got what they deserved.
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Old 05-01-2019, 11:07 AM
 
2,762 posts, read 3,312,115 times
Reputation: 5470
Quote:
Originally Posted by Indiana Tony View Post
I say 'you earned it' to people who really did. I haven't been on social media in years.


I earn my leisurely weekends.
I find "you earned it" more appropriate. You would say it when someone actually put in the work to get that point so they earned it.

I find that "you deserve it" is often used as a way to rationalize poor financial decisions. I have heard people who obviously are not in a good financial position say "you deserve it" when their also not in a good financial position daughter is buying jewelry or overly expensive electronic device they definitely should not be spending what money they have on that particular day on. They typically have done nothing to deserve it and should be using their money more wisely. So I sort of despise the "you deserve it" phrase.
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Old 05-01-2019, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,122 posts, read 3,534,321 times
Reputation: 18932
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart View Post
I’m not going to get into the deserve or not deserve argument, but we gave our son a car at 16. It was a huge help to us for him to have his own car. He was in so many activities and we were equally busy.

We also paid for his college. He was an excellent student. It is a parent’s prerogative to do what they want and can do for their children to help them get started in life. How you “parent” determines how they end up, not what you give them. At 36, he has a great job, he is a husband, a father, and owns two homes (and two cars that he bought new.)
And it's completely your choice to give your children those things. It is sad that others are, or can be, jealous. But it's not their money, or their life and they don't get to decide. My parents paid for my college. I do not owe anyone an apology for that. My family made a lot of sacrifices so that they could pay for it and so that I would not have to take out loans.
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:49 PM
 
11 posts, read 2,010 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
And it's completely your choice to give your children those things. It is sad that others are, or can be, jealous. But it's not their money, or their life and they don't get to decide. My parents paid for my college. I do not owe anyone an apology for that. My family made a lot of sacrifices so that they could pay for it and so that I would not have to take out loans.

Which college did you obtain a degree from?

The apple never falls far.
Some kids are bad seeds because they have crooked trash as parents.
It's in their blood and in their upbringing.
So if they don't buy them the things that others have that they are jealous of they will just end up stealing those things.
It's not possible for a crooked person to raise non crooked people.
Their kids will be peeping toms, thieves, or both.
So trashy.
Gross.

Last edited by BootsSST; 05-01-2019 at 09:11 PM..
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Old 05-04-2019, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Between West Chester and Chester, PA
2,584 posts, read 2,282,172 times
Reputation: 4360
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Definitely. I rarely even post on Facebook, but I donít get many likes compared to others because I only have 50 ďfriendsĒ, and a lot of those friends are just relatives and acquaintances who Iím cool with, but they donít necessarily care about the things that I post to the point where theyíre going to get all excited about it. I did not make any posts about buying a house or a new car (I feel like that would be bragging), so Iíve never received any ďyou deserve itĒ comments. But I donít need anyone to tell me what I deserve.
You deserve it!
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Old 05-04-2019, 11:24 AM
 
745 posts, read 175,887 times
Reputation: 526
"you deserve it" can work both ways in real (offline) life, too.


i feel for people with terminal illnesses hearing cured people say "God is good!!" when they haven't
been cured of their illness in the same way.


we *all* deserve a decent chance at life, the opportunity to at least try for what we really
need. just because you didn't get what you needed, doesn't mean you 'didn't deserve it'.
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Old 05-05-2019, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
192 posts, read 54,156 times
Reputation: 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsgoingon4 View Post
I notice sometimes on Facebook or other media, I see people posting pictures of their new car, house etc. In the comments I invariably see "You deserve it!"

Recently I saw a post on Facebook where parents surprised their 16 year old daugher with a new Honda Accord. It was close to new if not. In comments I saw that same comment "You deserve it". And maybe, the daughter paid for part of it, maybe she worked for it, it's really not my business.

But I can tell you at 16 a new car was not even a thought. I got my first car, 10 years old at 21. I guess you could say my family bought it, I saved most of my birthday money for years, and my parents paid for a bit of it and I used that to pay it on cash. It was not fancy, but I was proud of it. When it was time to trade it in this year, I got a 2 year old used car but nicer this time. But this time I paid the down payment with my money and pay my own payments.

I don't think a 16 year old needs a new fancy car. I certainly never thought I did.

How do you feel about that, has anyone said that to you, were there cases where you think you did deserve it?

I guess at times I've felt like I've deserved something, like a nice day to myself after a week I thought was stressful, something like that.

I don't think I've ever felt like I deserved material things. Just because I have a job doesn't mean I deserve a house or a new car, I don't think. Although I've never posted about getting a car on Facebook. Do you think we post about these things to feel approval, or importance. Usually when I see these posts they are popular people and get lots of likes and happy comments from them. If I were to do so, I wouldn't get many, because I'm not popular. But that doesn't mean I should feel any less happy for myself, because nobody else noticed, or I didn't get their approval.

Do you think social media can bring a seeking of approval, of being noticed?
I think when people say "you deserve it" they are just being nice. As far as parents buying a 16 year old a new car they are doing their children a disservice and not preparing them for the real world. Which happens often in this day and age.
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Old 05-05-2019, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
6,783 posts, read 3,763,138 times
Reputation: 15988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whiskey-Pete View Post
I think when people say "you deserve it" they are just being nice. As far as parents buying a 16 year old a new car they are doing their children a disservice and not preparing them for the real world. Which happens often in this day and age.
Canít get much more cliche than this ^^^^^? Lol
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