U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-06-2019, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Camberville
12,005 posts, read 16,758,787 times
Reputation: 19709

Advertisements

Can you set aside blocks that are your volunteer time where your family knows that your attention is focused on the game?


I'm active in an online gaming community and have held leadership roles in my guild. I also work a demanding, professional job full time and at times am called upon during my "off" time, completed a master's degree while working full time, and am on the board of a nonprofit that demands a lot of my free time. And that's to say nothing of my social life or my other volunteering roles! You can be a gamer while still having balance in the other parts of your life.



What helps me maintain the balance is have set times where I am doing my gaming thing. If I can't go to a raid night or have to back down on a PVP afternoon that I host, the other people I game with understand because they're all equally invested in their careers, educations, family, friends, etc. If you find that the people you game with are *not* understanding of your personal time, then you need to find another group or another game altogether. I've been in guilds where the guild leader came down on you for missing a night, which to me was ludicrous. If I'm not a professional e-sport competitor (and I'm not - and it doesn't sound like you are either) then gaming is meant to be fun, not a job.



Do you think your family would be amenable to you scheduling times out of your week where you can focus on your moderation duties?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-06-2019, 03:39 PM
 
9,780 posts, read 4,995,849 times
Reputation: 33742
Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
Funny thing is; the owners probably make a ton of money off of it. People pay 2,000$ for custom characters, 500$ for certain permanent weapons, hats that you can buy for your character can range from 10$ to 100$. Also people can buy moderator for 30$ no matter how new you are and as long as you aren't banned.
Hmmmmm ... what was that quote by PT Barnum?

Oh yeah. There truly is a sucker born every minute.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2019, 04:03 PM
 
5,452 posts, read 2,292,432 times
Reputation: 16437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
An excuse for what? He's 29 and lives with other adults. What do they need him for that can't wait 20 minutes? If dinner is served, well, he's a grown man. If I had my grown children living with me I would not require that they sit at the table with me for every meal. I would respect their autonomy and schedule, as I would expect them to respect mine.

Another option would be to set aside times that would be off limits for the game admin duties to conduct normal daily chores and have some family time. Let the family know, and stick with the schedule. Just like someone with a paid job has to do.......
If the people monitoring his time spent have a problem with that, there is something wrong with them.

It's addictive behavior. It's not as obvious as drinking or shooting up, but it's awfully close.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2019, 04:16 PM
Status: "Excited to move to Vegas!" (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Beaverton, OR
5,536 posts, read 5,904,077 times
Reputation: 6324
I wouldn’t want to be bothered with a stressful chore of a duty that isn’t paid either, but I think people decide individually what’s important to them and boundaries need to be respected. I’m home 95% of the time, that’s where I work, where I have fun, where life happens, so no, it’s never ok for me to be interrupted with expectation of immediate response. If my fiancé treated me that way, we wouldn’t be together anymore. Unlike a lot of couples though we actually live our own lives and enjoy being two separate people, not two halves of some sad whole. Respect for personal time and space is essential in any living situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2019, 05:31 PM
 
20,534 posts, read 16,611,821 times
Reputation: 38560
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
Hmmmmm ... what was that quote by PT Barnum?

Oh yeah. There truly is a sucker born every minute.
The stupid games are set up that eventually you can’t win unless you upgrade. My fiancé plays golf clash and is always complaining that the people who buy upgraded clubs and balls win. I was seeing “ $21.99 App Store charges and I couldn’t believe he was wasting money on imaginary clubs. Now I get him Apple gift cards for special occasions but other than that he just has to do his best with the clubs he has.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2019, 02:41 AM
 
6,954 posts, read 3,860,525 times
Reputation: 14779
I know the OP says that he is unable to work but I wonder if part of the problem is that the family is unhappy that he is working, but for nothing. It seems to me that if he can be so dedicated to an internet game he could put the same dedication and the same amount of time into a job that would earn him money, experience and a sense of accomplishment.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-09-2019, 11:44 AM
 
Location: NJ
10,669 posts, read 21,344,566 times
Reputation: 8818
Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
So, I have this hobby where I am an admin on a game. Let explain what I basically do:

1. Go on the game

2. Take reports and talk to players in a special room. (This can last anywhere from 1 minute to over 20 minutes)

3. Help less experienced staff members (sometimes train new ones)

Here is the problem, I have been doing this for over half a year and the problems between me and my family seem to be getting worse. Since there are a lot of players, there is always requests for a staff member and we have to take them no matter what. They require my full attention and I cannot continue other things until it is done.

When I am in the middle of trying to finish a report, I am always needed by my family in some way. I tried to explain to them many times what I do and that I simply just cannot drop what I am doing and walk away. I thought this would get better over time but this seems to be getting worse. I love this hobby but at the same time I don't want it to cause further issues between me and my family.

I like this hobby where I help other people and I would hate to just stop doing it since I worked so hard to get up the ranks. I don't know what to do.

Any advice or suggestions would be really helpful.
My hub used to admin a game site too. It was a cheat site I believe. I'm talking 10 years ago. He eventually gave it up. I didn't make him because I was modding at Maximum PC and posting here. What's the difference?

I then started helping families with missing loved ones back in 2008. My hub has a huge issue with it because I'm not getting paid; that's probably part of the reason your family doesn't like it, that and now you're not setting up the coffee maker (rolling my eyes)... Do they really need you to do that? Do they really not know how to make coffee? Very easy to rinse the pot out when empty and reset it up for next time. That's what I do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty View Post
I know the OP says that he is unable to work but I wonder if part of the problem is that the family is unhappy that he is working, but for nothing. It seems to me that if he can be so dedicated to an internet game he could put the same dedication and the same amount of time into a job that would earn him money, experience and a sense of accomplishment.
This job he's doing is good to use to find another online paying job. They're out there for things like running a companies social media and to think I've done it for free for families of missing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
Funny thing is; the owners probably make a ton of money off of it. People pay 2,000$ for custom characters, 500$ for certain permanent weapons, hats that you can buy for your character can range from 10$ to 100$. Also people can buy moderator for 30$ no matter how new you are and as long as you aren't banned.

I only know one or two people that actually get a salary, everyone else are volunteers. Like I said I am probably just going to resign.
This doesn't make sense to me that they wouldn't pay everyone. They surely can afford to pay you for your time. How do other admins feel that no one gets paid except a few people when the company is bringing cash in. I do wonder if you're with the cheat site my hub used to admin for.

Make yourself a LinkedIn profile, list this job on it. You may get emails if similar jobs come in. Also search to see if there are paying jobs for gamers.

In your other thread you said you like to paint. How often do you do that? Are you on any of the sites for it? I think Devian Art is one of them
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-09-2019, 12:30 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,410 posts, read 12,940,514 times
Reputation: 30950
Don't know what to think of someone who thinks more of people on a "game" than their real life family. Well, I do, but I'm being nice and not posting it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-09-2019, 01:23 PM
 
20,534 posts, read 16,611,821 times
Reputation: 38560
Quote:
Originally Posted by kygman View Post
Don't know what to think of someone who thinks more of people on a "game" than their real life family. Well, I do, but I'm being nice and not posting it.
I was just thinking that as I re-read the OP. OP loves the hobby because he lives helping people, but he doesn’t want to help his own family, just strangers in the game. People who need him IRL are intruding on his hobby of helping strangers.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-09-2019, 02:50 PM
 
17,000 posts, read 20,668,960 times
Reputation: 33987
Quote:
Originally Posted by crd08 View Post
What exactly does your family want from you? You are an adult living with adults, so I guess I am confused as to what is so urgent they get upset. If you do not work this is almost like if you had to leave to go to a job. Does your family want you to sit around and stare at them?

I guess it depends on how much time this is truly taking. If it's taking so much time you aren't pulling your weight around the home, missing family Holidays, dinners, etc I get that. Maybe set hours like a job would. You can do this from X'oclock to X'oclock. At that time you finish what you have and take no more requests.
Maybe because the OP is 30 years old, doesn't work, and I am guessing doesn't pay any rent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty View Post
I know the OP says that he is unable to work but I wonder if part of the problem is that the family is unhappy that he is working, but for nothing. It seems to me that if he can be so dedicated to an internet game he could put the same dedication and the same amount of time into a job that would earn him money, experience and a sense of accomplishment.
^^^^ this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top