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I have one that stands out in my head because of what happened afterward.
I was working in NYC and I went to lunch place I hadn't been to before, one of the ubiquitous places in the city that has a food buffet where you take what you want and pay by the weight.
I got my food and went up to the counter to pay. Working behind the counter were two young black guys and a small Asian woman. I was the only white person in the shop. I put my things on the counter and pulled my money out of my purse, and while I was doing so, three black people got on line behind me.
The guys behind the counter pretended I wasn't there and waited on all of the black people behind me first, deliberately not looking at me. The poor little Asian girl who was bagging the purchases kept looking at me but I could tell she was too scared to say anything.
I thought about just dumping the food and walking out, but I thought, "OK, you've been burned by a white person somewhere along the line so now you're gonna sure show me, huh?" It was just stupid, and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing they'd gotten under my skin.
Anyway, finally when I was the only one in the shop, they rang up my purchase. I paid without saying anything and shoved my change, which included a few dollar bills, into my jacket pocket and walked out.
I was annoyed at their racist behavior and thinking about it walking down the street, when a black lady approached me, smiling, and said, "Excuse me...but you've got money hanging out of your pocket. Someone could just walk past you and take it. You have to be careful!"
I thanked her and smiled, and reflected on the lesson I'd just been given to remember to assign behavior to individuals and nothing else.
Problem is your didn't get picked on enough as a kid .
I remember all the times I was beat up but it not worth retelling .
Dredging up the past does no good, then you are living in the past and that drags you down the rest of your life . and chances are that person that did what ever, has long forgotten you by now .
Fact is people that hold grudges are more likely to suffer internal issues . Of course if that's what you want for your life then go ahead . have one story you tell all your life and wonder why no one wants to spend any time with you.
As a Christian , Jesus taught that one's forgiveness from God is dependent on the recipient forgiving others , otherwise God's forgiveness is withdrawn. God deals with these issues "for those that love Him" His way, and in His time .
Though it is important to ask forgiveness of some one you had run a foul, they do not owe it and a debtor you remain.
like a car accident the damages need to be remanded , or some one will render the force of the law on you.
Asking God for forgiveness is not just saying I'm sorry, it is realizing a debt you can't afford .
Jesus makes up the difference . not to license one to live in rebellion but to live toward God and His asperations for you.
Abusing forgiveness is continued rebellion insincere be it to God or man. Jesus called for "repentance" a turn about in behavior and direction, more perfectly where you get direction from. God preferably.
A forgiving spirit ,is ready to forgive even among those that fail to ask. Even as we fail to ask some times too.
He didn't say he was holding a grudge. He said something had triggered the memory to the forefront of his mind, and wanted to talk about it, and ask about other people's experiences.
I was around second grade, had poison ivy, went to the nurse to get some calamine lotion. She was a rather gruff lady. That particular time, there was another woman in there and they were talking. The nurse said to her, "I've hated this child for years." I remember looking up at her in complete disbelief. She couldn't possibly have said that, especially when I was sitting right in front of her...as if I couldn't hear her or was too young or stupid to be listening? I told my mom about it years later, and she didn't believe me.
The only reason I can think that she would hate me is because I went to her office too much for poison ivy (I'm very sensitive to it...) I was a very quiet, well-behaved and studious kid.
Years ago I went to an appliance store for a part. There were a couple of customers ahead of me, so I just stood in line idly looking at their counter displays. When it was my turn, the first thing the counter guy said to me was "you look really mean!" I was so blown away I couldn't even speak and finally managed to stammer "Thanks, but I'm really not and I just need to buy this part". I mean, nice opening line when someone wants to give you money, right?
It's surprising how many people in customer service positions, even some business owners, have no clue about how to relate to customers. I think, when service people are hired, someone needs to give them an introductory orientation, spelling out obvious things, like: "be courteous--It's your job to ensure the customer has a pleasant experience. Your employer wants to encourage repeat customers, not discourage them."
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-10-2019 at 11:55 AM..
I volunteered to direct parking traffic at a charity event, taking off a day from work to do it. It was raining, and a deep mud pit soon developed at the entrance to the field used for parking. I was told to stand in the middle of the mud pit and direct people away from the mud, onto the still-intact grass to the right.
So, I'm soaked. I'm ankle deep in thick mud (slipping in it, boots getting stuck, the whole 9 yards). There are no traffic cones, just me in an orange vest. I've already had to lightly push a couple of cars that got momentarily stuck, I'm the only one doing this, and the only woman on the crew. But I'm being a sport about it and have been throwing my whole body into pantomiming to approaching cars to drive onto the grass, not through the mud. Most drivers figure out what I'm trying to tell them.
Until...this woman in an SUV goes around me as directed, but once she parks, she starts screaming at me: what the HELL was I doing standing in her way?? What kind of MORON doesn't get out of the way of an SUV??
I politely (the first time) called back to her that I was sorry, but I was directing people around a mud pit. She was on a tear, though, and wouldn't comprehend my explanation. In her eyes, even though I was wearing an orange vest and directing traffic, she had every right to drive exactly where she wanted, and I should have stepped aside. And she continued to scream at me, then went up to another volunteer to yell at him about me.
I wish I could say I just brushed it off, but it really soured my day. I kept asking myself -
"Why would you yell at someone volunteering at a charity event, soaked with rain, mud caked halfway up her calves, because you were not allowed to drive through the mud?" I get paid to take a lot of crap (with a smile) at my job - and it usually doesn't rattle me for long. But I wasn't expecting that while serving as a volunteer. The other part of it was my disappointment at how poorly run the event was, in general. But that's another story.
This reminds me of a time I was SO thankful i wasn’t rude. (Not that I am. My mom would find out and I’d catch heck. She raised polite kids)
I was in a Hallmark store, in a hurry to check out. The woman in front of me kept talking and talking and talking to the clerk and I was extremely put out and aggravated by the wait. I didn’t pay any attention to what was being said....just fumed silently and thought about what a hurry I was in.
When the woman left, the clerk apologized for the wait and then I noticed she had tears in her eyes. She explained the slow woman was a regular customer and had just found out her cancer was terminal.
That really set me back on my heels. I was so so thankful I hadnt let my impatience show and it really taught me a lesson. We really don’t know what others are going through so I try hard to remember that. I’m a naturally impatient kind of person so it’s a struggle. But after that, much easier.
So true! And you reminded me I also learned that lesson too, but it bit me in the butt a few years later.
I was working at a shop and a lady came in for her daughters items, which weren't done yet. I apologized and explained it to her (she may have been there before the due date, I really can't remember). What I do remember is her absolutely going off on me. My coworker was in shock and tried to get her attention on him, but she was having none of it. I was the devil and she let me have it. She finally stormed out and we really had no idea what happened. I was pretty shook up over it.
The next day she came back, walked up to me and hugged me. She apologized profusely, saying she'd just learned her daughter had cancer and that I had done nothing wrong. She was just on edge and it didn't take anything to set her off. Of course we both cried!
Years later, in another job, I was building an order for a customer at lunch time (only 2 of us manning the counters then). He never gave me his business name so I was putting it in under our generic account. He was fairly curt and on his phone most of the time. I printed him a quote and started pulling his items. When I got back with the first armful, he started yelling at me about his "preferred pricing". And really yelling. I tried to calm him down and ask if maybe he was under a business name, while manually modifying pricing. I finally managed to drag the name out of him, and put it on his slip, but I had no idea that the manually entered prices overrode his actual discount. I'm reprinting everything, showing him it's under his name and his discount, so those are the prices. Meanwhile he's SCREAMING at me for being so stupid and he KNOWS he pays less (which really he doesn't know, pricing can change with each order we got in).
I am frantically looking for someone to bail me out and see my one coworker staring at me, just out of eye shot from crazy guy. My coworkers eyes are THIS BIG but no way is he coming anywhere near the fracas.
The customer finally leaves, and on his way out the door THROWS a box of brake pads at me and tells me to cancel everything.
I am now terrified I lost a customer, but thinking back to the lady in the story above, thinking OK, he obviously has had a really bad day and just took it out on me. He's not correct, but I can handle this.
As this guy storms away, the manager walks in (on his day off). I explain what happened and he showed me the issue with the pricing and asks me to redo the quote and call the guy, apologize to him and give him the correct pricing. I am sure if he'd witnessed the display of anger, he'd stood up for me but he didn't and you can't really convey psycho very well about a "good" customer.
I was still shaking and did not feel good about apologizing to this guy. I made a simple mistake with the quote but it did not warrant his anger. I did redo it, but when I called him I just said something like I had talked to the manager and he over-rode the pricing for his order.
I was *** this close *** to walking out that day. It was a part time job that didn't pay well and not worth that nonsense.
Oh and I asked around - bottom line was that guy had bad days every day. He was a jerk to everyone. I never waited on him again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
It's surprising how many people in customer service positions, even some business owners, have no clue about how to relate to customers. I think, when service people are hired, someone needs to give them an introductory orientation, spelling out obvious things, like: "be courteous--It's your job to ensure the customer has a pleasant experience. Your employer wants to encourage repeat customers, not discourage them."
For some odd reason I've never gone back into that store....
Has a stranger ever done something to you so rude you'll never forget it?
You mean, such as:
-Sending death threats because their order, while exactly the way it was advertised, was not the way they expected it to be?
-A woman at the FTC threatening to have "her" agency investigate me because her order (see above)
-A customer screaming at me on the phone because I had emailed her the information she requested instead of calling her
-And many more out-of-control people who were just looking for someone to beat up.
Once I stopped selling on eBay, all these people (and others like them) went away.
Because I had these experiences on eBay, I vowed to put as much distance between myself and the customer. Amazon does my fulfillment so I never have to communicate with screamers. I think Amazon attracts a better class of people.
Standing 4 deep in line at a check out and when the new line opened up the person behind me literally pushed me out of the way to get there first. I'd like to think that someone that would actually act that way in public just to get checked out a couple minutes sooner probably doesn't have a very happy life so karma is likely alive and well.
Has a stranger ever done something to you so rude you'll never forget it?
You mean, such as:
-Sending death threats because their order, while exactly the way it was advertised, was not the way they expected it to be?
-A woman at the FTC threatening to have "her" agency investigate me because her order (see above)
-A customer screaming at me on the phone because I had emailed her the information she requested instead of calling her
-And many more out-of-control people who were just looking for someone to beat up.
Once I stopped selling on eBay, all these people (and others like them) went away.
Because I had these experiences on eBay, I vowed to put as much distance between myself and the customer. Amazon does my fulfillment so I never have to communicate with screamers. I think Amazon attracts a better class of people.
I hate Ebay with a passion. My last straw was the buyer that expected me to pay her the $250 she claimed she paid to "fix" an expensive camera that worked perfectly when I sent it and she never once contacted me until after she supposedly sunk all this money into it. I won the claim and quit Ebay that very week. I just couldn't take the dishonesty and stupidity any longer.
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