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Old 05-10-2019, 10:20 AM
2,327 posts, read 1,336,367 times
Reputation: 4533


I don't

I wish I did

as I get older I need more silence/quiet time...relaxation...stress free
I am less tolerant of other people needing wanting complaining criticizing suggesting requesting demanding arguing crying slamming banging yelling screetching sighing huffing puffing and talking

I'm tired of 98% of my time being taken from someone else...and then demanding more
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Old 05-10-2019, 10:31 AM
Location: Boulder, CO
330 posts, read 116,707 times
Reputation: 614
Just bought a condo that is the perfect size (984 sq ft) for me and ADogNamedSam.

I enjoy being alone. I can play D&D on-line a couple nights a week, order take-out
as often as I please, sleep in on Saturday, decorate (or not) to my liking, manage all
the household expenses, drive up a weekend to Wyoming to visit my four kids, spend
hours at one of the dog parks ... without wondering how it all impacts someone else.

In my case the LDR I am about to embark upon seems to make sense, fly in a gf
for a week or two, then fly her back home again.
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Old 05-10-2019, 10:47 AM
Location: Colorado
11,613 posts, read 7,195,062 times
Reputation: 20924
Originally Posted by Pilot1 View Post
I've done both over my life, and currently live alone. Everything is a compromise, and trade off. I like living alone, but that doesn't mean someday I wouldn't consider living with a woman again. Women tend to "own" the household, and largely feminize it. I like being able to do what I want with my home, and space. If it looks like a guy lives here, that's fine, because one does!
I also find this funny, because of my own decorating tastes. And, I guess, those of my boyfriend.

I am more invested in having a clean home. Not minimalist, I can handle a certain amount of "clutter" such as figures and collectibles displayed on shelves, but no filth. Seek and destroy where the filth is concerned. I keep the place well maintained.

But with decorating, my stuff is some weird blend of horror, steampunk, nerdy pop culture references, sci fi and fantasy stuff... I collect gargoyles and dragons, skulls and eyeballs, the occasional whimsical octopus.

Not exactly "feminine!" lol

Boyfriend collects a lot of the same stuff, though far more of the tiny D&D figs (god, they are everywhere!) and he likes art of beautiful women. In his own space, that is graphic erotic art. Up in the common areas, that's more along the lines of the Art Nouveau prints of Alphonse Mucha. I love this art, but it's funny that these sort of feminine art pieces are HIS stuff, and the GWAR posters and skulls are MY stuff.
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Old 05-10-2019, 10:48 AM
Location: Chicago
879 posts, read 240,755 times
Reputation: 1699
Originally Posted by hawk101 View Post
Thanks elly, selling up to move in with bf, you must be pretty sure about him then right ?
So do you mean you have your own room at his place and you won't sleep together ?
We had a rocky start but couldn't seem to quit each other so we started going to counseling together to identify where we were going wrong, tl;dr: we are both stubborn and need to learn how to compromise.

We will still be sharing the master bedroom. My room will be a a combination of a dressing room and a writing space. Closing the door means i want to be alone.
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Old 05-10-2019, 12:19 PM
Location: Camberville
11,979 posts, read 16,700,390 times
Reputation: 19560
My partner runs a business out of state so he's back and forth a lot. It's the only way we can stand a 1 bedroom apartment together.

I really relish my alone time, though I certainly appreciate another set of hands to help cook and clean. I'm extremely introverted, but play a great bubbly extrovert at work due to the nature of my job always being "on" as a subject matter expert for my employer, so I get home and just need to be quiet.
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Old 05-10-2019, 12:39 PM
Location: Southern California
5,407 posts, read 8,101,732 times
Reputation: 5040
I've lived alone for ONLY 1-1.5 yrs in my entire life & I'm in my mid-40s. I absolutely loved it, but I do prefer it w/ my SO/best friend living w/ me.

The next time I'll probably live alone again is when I'm old & alone (single).
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Old 05-10-2019, 12:54 PM
5,335 posts, read 3,382,401 times
Reputation: 13390
If not living with a spouse which I did for 17 years, then living alone is definitely the only way for me. No roommates! - I could not tolerate a roommate for even 5 minutes!
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Old 05-10-2019, 02:46 PM
742 posts, read 175,887 times
Reputation: 516
i surround myself with nice things & treat myself well. even little things make
a big difference. once i read a helpful article about people looking for romance
in their life, and the author pointed out that you can add romance to your life
yourself. esp if you already know what makes you happy. i keep in touch with
people as well, but keep it sensible and light--too many experiences with one-way
"relationships" where it seemed my "value" depended on being someone who would
do more for them and ignore my own needs. it's empowering to discover what you
can do for yrself too.
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Old 05-10-2019, 02:56 PM
3,036 posts, read 1,698,052 times
Reputation: 3431
Originally Posted by hawk101 View Post
l've mostly always loved my space and alone time , yet l've just about always had someone.
But l've always struggled with that too , l like it , l do like having a partner, even married l did love our life a lot of the time , but it was also very hard and complicated your life to no end, it was unbelievable the stuff you had to deal with, just because you were married so l also often resented the hell out of it too many many times.

Which l find happens with anyone , just doesn't seem possible for it to not as two.
Do you think your wife sensed it, that you would prefer to live alone?
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Old 05-10-2019, 04:53 PM
Location: around
675 posts, read 227,291 times
Reputation: 593
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Do you think your wife sensed it, that you would prefer to live alone?

Oh yeah , she was very confused , thought l just didn't wanna live with her and be with her anymore.
That was all my fault because l should've tried harder to explain my weird ways and needs and l always regret not doing it and her feeling that way .
lt wasn't always like that , we use to spend a lot of time together and live together really well. She always knew l needed my space but never understood it, later on in life though it got a lot worse. lt wasn't fair on her but sadly l just didn't know how to fix it.
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