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What is coming across that you may not be aware of is that you know some things your mom likes, yet you refuse to do those things. Or you just don't think about it and don't plan ahead in order to do them, which is the "thought that counts" part of giving a gift.
You know your mom likes to get money in a card. You get her a card but you don't plan ahead and take the time to put money in, so it looks like it doesn't really matter to you. (The idea that her expecting money to be in every card is another whole thread LOL).
IDK I get why you are opposed, but the whole point of a gift is to make an occasion special because you want to show that it's different from every other day. And that is usually just effort put in by someone to do a little more than they usually do.
If you have no interest in doing that, I guess that is your choice. Everybody has their own thing.
I just kind of object to the whole “Because it’s a holiday and I’m your mom, you should buy me something.” My dad knows that I’m not going to get him anything for Father’s Day and he’s fine with that because he and I pretty much feel the same way about gift giving. I recently bought a $1300 gift for myself, so my mom will use that as an example of why I should be able to buy something for her. But I think she should just be happy for me that I’m using my money to make myself happy.
I just kind of object to the whole “Because it’s a holiday and I’m your mom, you should buy me something.” My dad knows that I’m not going to get him anything for Father’s Day and he’s fine with that because he and I pretty much feel the same way about gift giving. I recently bought a $1300 gift for myself, so my mom will use that as an example of why I should be able to buy something for her.
Again, you can do what you want.
But your mom didn't invent this holiday. It just sounds like you don't want to be told what to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
But I think she should just be happy for me that I’m using my money to make myself happy.
LOL I guess she could have thought that way your entire childhood about her money.
I'd be quite content with your efforts OP. I've never relied upon gifts for confirmation my sons loved me. All I ever want is a phone call or visit, even a text. And if none of those happen on a particular day? I'm still ok. They gave me the gift of motherhood, something I enjoyed for many years. I consider us even.
You clearly don't want to do this, yet you started this thread. I'm assuming you're feeling some guilt, and either want to have people agree that nothing is necessary...or to be talked into getting her something.
Tomorrow will be my 2nd Mother's Day without my Mom. It's gonna be a rough day. I wish I had your dilemma.
I am just not a gift person. That isn’t my love language. As I said, I don’t like to receive gifts either. I make sure that I provide myself with the things that I want and I don’t expect my parents to give me anything just because it’s my birthday or a holiday. So I don’t like it when people expect me to spend money on them just because they know that I have money to spend. And sure you can say that it’s not about money, it’s the thought that counts, but I spend a lot of time with my mom so she should know that she’s appreciated without me having to buy her gifts.
What's your mother's love language? If you know she appreciates getting gifts, even if it's because she wants to be able to brag about you to her sisters and friends, then go outside your comfort zone to provide a gift. The fact that it's not your thing doesn't mean other people feel the same way.
As for me, I am making brunch tomorrow for my mom, and also got her a card and a gift, a decorative item for her home. She doesn't need anything but I know she will like this, so I got it. My teenager got me some hand soap that I like although I actually paid for it because I'm a single mom, so no other parent to take care of that and he doesn't earn enough money for me to be ok with him spending it on me like that. But when he's an adult, he'll know that while I don't like things to be over the top, I do appreciate a small acknowledgement of the day.
I give a token gift (jewelry or a little piece of art like a pottery pot etc) and do an “experience “ thing so we have shared memories.
Well, I did before my mom died.
Hey Birdie, off topic but I am sorry you no longer have a Mom. Mine died in 2014. Today I took a glass flower and a Mother's day card to her grave. I don't believe in an after life, so I know she doesn't know, but it is my way of telling the world - or at least those going by her grave - that she was wonderful and the best Mom in the world.
I might get her a card, candles and maybe a t-shirt. That is pretty much it, the rest involves just making her day easier.
Landscape, you realize it's tomorrow? It's sounds like you need to go shopping in the morning.
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