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Old 05-12-2019, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
6,480 posts, read 7,733,257 times
Reputation: 15788

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I'm a hard person to gift. If I want something I generally buy it. I don't usually want much. Some years my adult kids give me a gift, some years not. All I really want is some of their time and I get that. This year we had a family group Facetime session. I loved having all of us "together."

My own mother isn't nearby right now. She'll be back at her home later in the week so I'll see her then. I typically get her a nice big basket of outdoor flowers and a card.
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Old 05-12-2019, 09:34 PM
 
4,485 posts, read 1,342,520 times
Reputation: 6278
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cida View Post
Well, too late now, I guess. But I'll point out that the essence of courtesy is not doing what YOU like, but what the other person would like. It's not a matter of what a people can buy for themselves. It's a signifier of thought and affection.

I would find it horribly tacky to put money in a card to one's mother, unless she was destitute. But, yes, I always would give gifts - and Father's Day, too. Don't get into tussles over amount and income. You can always just buy something cute, something that refers back to your past, something she would find fun or endearing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
You're contradicting yourself. Her mother likes money in the card.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cida View Post
No, I'm not contracting myself. I said that I would find money in a card to my mother very tacky.

Besides, maybe the mother likes money by default - because the OP doesn't bother shopping for a present.
Sure you are contradicting yourself. The gist of your original statement is that the gift giver shouldn't do what he/she likes but rather should do what the gift receiver likes. You then went on to say what you (as the gift giver) would consider horribly tacky. That completely goes against your previous statement.
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Old 05-12-2019, 09:37 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
55,566 posts, read 54,174,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Both my daughter (4,000 miles away) and son (2,000 miles away) called me for Mother's Day. My children sent me a life alert/medical emergency system (they will pay the monthly fee) because of a recent fall. Not a very sentimental present but one that shows that they love me.
We got that for my mom, too, last year. It made her feel more secure.
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Old 05-12-2019, 09:40 PM
 
4,485 posts, read 1,342,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
I got her gifts together. I got her a towel, comfortable pjs, candles and some socks. I put it all in two different mothers day gift bags with tissue paper. Hope she likes it.
Good stuff.
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Old 05-12-2019, 09:41 PM
 
4,485 posts, read 1,342,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Thatís nice! I told my mom that we could go to the mall today to pick out a gift for her if she wants. Yes, I know thatís not the same as me making the effort to pick something out myself and surprise her.
Did you go to the mall with her?
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Old 05-12-2019, 09:46 PM
 
6,231 posts, read 3,521,306 times
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My kids are in their busy forties and they both had to work today so we've postponed it.

Both of them called and Bachelor Son offered to take me hunting for wild mushrooms after he was done with work. Chef Daughter is taking me to a flower bulb show and for lunch next Saturday.

I don't know what they have planned for a day of family celebration but we all always make a big deal out of holidays. I told them to surprise me. Hope Daughter cooks something good.

They are both thoughtful gift givers and spend time selecting something that has significance. I taught them when they were little that it's not the price of the gift that counts but rather that it shows that you understand what gives the giftee happiness.

The two gifts from them I appreciate most is something that they've made for me and spending time with me, something that happens far too seldom with their busy lifestyles these days.
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:27 AM
 
5,423 posts, read 2,892,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post

If you are a mom and you have adult children, what kinds of Motherís Day gifts are you expecting or hoping for?
A phone call (they live far away) and sometime during the year to spend a day with me. No more gifts for me! No more "stuff"!

Even if they lived close --just having lunch and bringing a bouquet of flowers would be all I need.
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Old 05-13-2019, 06:00 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,202 posts, read 4,779,668 times
Reputation: 21511
I always take my mother out to lunch in one of the nicest restaurants in town, get her a card and usually some small gift like her favorite perfume. This year I didn't buy her a gift except for some flowers because she just sold her house and moved into a smaller condo and she didn't want anything. When she gets settled I will take her shopping and buy something for her new place. She is seriously ill and this was probably her last Mother's Day with us. I made sure to get pictures of the 4 generations sitting together at lunch.

OP, I realize it's too late this year but you need to do what your mother prefers on Mother's Day, not what YOU want to do. It's one day a year and if she likes getting a gift then do so. I remember how hurt I was when my kid's forgot Mother's Day or didn't even bother to get me a card.
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Old 05-13-2019, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,740 posts, read 12,631,336 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
Did you go to the mall with her?
No, the weather was bad so she said she'd rather just stay in and she's glad that we celebrated on Saturday.
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Old 05-13-2019, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Winterpeg
858 posts, read 325,097 times
Reputation: 3600
Everyone is different in their wants and expectations in regards to gift giving.

My daughter said to me this past Christmas "You (and dad) aren't normal - you don't like stuff so you're impossible to shop for". And we laughed. She's right, and she knows us. A token is all I expect, and I seriously appreciate it. Yesterday she admitted that she forgot about mother's day and apologized. Later as I was doing some yard work she came home with a Coke Slurpee for me, and that's perfect in my books. (yes, I have a problem - I love those sugary things... lol).

Any bigger a celebration would be be too much, for me. For some, it would have been a horrible let down. Not better or worse, just different.
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