Mother’s Day Gifts? (wife, presents, present, mother)
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Hey Birdie, off topic but I am sorry you no longer have a Mom. Mine died in 2014. Today I took a glass flower and a Mother's day card to her grave. I don't believe in an after life, so I know she doesn't know, but it is my way of telling the world - or at least those going by her grave - that she was wonderful and the best Mom in the world.
That's nice!
I don't like going to her grave site, for some reason. My dad goes faithfully, all the time. I am still stuck in the anger stage because she died after a short illness and I feel like she was cheated out of so much.
Hey Birdie, off topic but I am sorry you no longer have a Mom. Mine died in 2014. Today I took a glass flower and a Mother's day card to her grave. I don't believe in an after life, so I know she doesn't know, but it is my way of telling the world - or at least those going by her grave - that she was wonderful and the best Mom in the world.
That is the sweetest thing.
And I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, too, BirdieBelle.
We're going out to celebrate after the actual day because of the crowds. I usually only buy for my mom, but this year there are different circumstances and I want to get a few gifts for others, and also some for my mom to give. I'm desperately shopping for several different ideas. lol
I am not a person who likes to give gifts, so I just don’t. Today I took my mom out to lunch to her favorite restaurant to celebrate Mother’s Day, but I take her to this restaurant several times a month because we both enjoy it, so I didn’t really do anything out of the ordinary. I did ask her where she wanted to eat since it’s Mother’s Day weekend and she chose this restaurant again. I also gave her a Mother’s Day card today because I know she likes cards, but she prefers to see money in the card and I didn’t put any in there because I just happened to not have any cash in my wallet today, and anything less than $50 she’s going to consider cheap anyway based on my income and she knows that I’ve been spending lots of money on other stuff lately, so it’s not an issue of me not having it.
Just wondering what are other people doing for their moms for Mother’s Day? Do I need to run out and buy something else to give to her tomorrow? I wasn’t planning to. She knows that I am just not really into holidays or gift giving, and I don’t think she should take it personally. I never expect gifts from her for any holiday because I work and I can (and do) buy my own stuff. I know that she cares about me regardless of what she gives me for my birthday, Christmas, etc. She knows that I don’t care about receiving gifts, but she just likes to give them anyway. But once she starts talking to her sisters and other women she knows and comparing what their children did for them for Mother’s Day, then she’s going to feel like I didn’t do enough for her.
If you are a mom and you have adult children, what kinds of Mother’s Day gifts are you expecting or hoping for? And what will you be doing for your mom (if she’s alive and you you have contact with her).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
Sorry about your mom.
I am just not a gift person. That isn’t my love language. As I said, I don’t like to receive gifts either. I make sure that I provide myself with the things that I want and I don’t expect my parents to give me anything just because it’s my birthday or a holiday. So I don’t like it when people expect me to spend money on them just because they know that I have money to spend. And sure you can say that it’s not about money, it’s the thought that counts, but I spend a lot of time with my mom so she should know that she’s appreciated without me having to buy her gifts.
About what I colored in purple, I don't get your point.
Is your mother comparing what her sisters' children do for their mothers to what you do for her?
I mean, did she say it frankly to you or that was just your feeling (what you are worried to be/happen)?
Has she ever told you that she expected gifts or certain type of gifts?
-In my view, since you kept in contact with your mother frequently and you seem have a good relationship with her. That's pretty great!
what I see in reality that parents always want their children to keep in contact with them, they consider it the biggest gift.
-What's the benefit/value when a person forget his parents the whole year, and only remember that he had parents in a mother's or father's day? To forget your mom the whole year then remember her with a card or gift in ONLY ONE SINGLE DAY!
-If every day according to you is/was a mother's day, then you don't need a mother's day.
-I don't want my comment to be understood as a detraction of these days "mother's or father's day". Not like that; my point is clear.
About these days, it's very beautiful to have such days weather for people who already in contact with their parents to celebrate it or to remind others who are not in contact with them. It's a great opportunity too for the children who have a problem/conflict with their parents to think of contacting or fixing things.
-In relation to the mother's day, If you are an only child, your mother might not compare what you did for her with what the others did for their moms who have more children.
-As a child I see that giving gifts or an invitation to a restaurant or flowers whatever in this certain day, to make it special, are all nice.
I am not a person who likes to give gifts, so I just don’t. Today I took my mom out to lunch to her favorite restaurant to celebrate Mother’s Day, but I take her to this restaurant several times a month because we both enjoy it, so I didn’t really do anything out of the ordinary. I did ask her where she wanted to eat since it’s Mother’s Day weekend and she chose this restaurant again. I also gave her a Mother’s Day card today because I know she likes cards, but she prefers to see money in the card and I didn’t put any in there because I just happened to not have any cash in my wallet today, and anything less than $50 she’s going to consider cheap anyway based on my income and she knows that I’ve been spending lots of money on other stuff lately, so it’s not an issue of me not having it.
Just wondering what are other people doing for their moms for Mother’s Day? Do I need to run out and buy something else to give to her tomorrow? I wasn’t planning to. She knows that I am just not really into holidays or gift giving, and I don’t think she should take it personally. I never expect gifts from her for any holiday because I work and I can (and do) buy my own stuff. I know that she cares about me regardless of what she gives me for my birthday, Christmas, etc. She knows that I don’t care about receiving gifts, but she just likes to give them anyway. But once she starts talking to her sisters and other women she knows and comparing what their children did for them for Mother’s Day, then she’s going to feel like I didn’t do enough for her.
If you are a mom and you have adult children, what kinds of Mother’s Day gifts are you expecting or hoping for? And what will you be doing for your mom (if she’s alive and you you have contact with her).
Well, too late now, I guess. But I'll point out that the essence of courtesy is not doing what YOU like, but what the other person would like. It's not a matter of what a people can buy for themselves. It's a signifier of thought and affection.
I would find it horribly tacky to put money in a card to one's mother, unless she was destitute. But, yes, I always would give gifts - and Father's Day, too. Don't get into tussles over amount and income. You can always just buy something cute, something that refers back to your past, something she would find fun or endearing.
Well, too late now, I guess. But I'll point out that the essence of courtesy is not doing what YOU like, but what the other person would like. It's not a matter of what a people can buy for themselves. It's a signifier of thought and affection.
I would find it horribly tacky to put money in a card to one's mother, unless she was destitute. But, yes, I always would give gifts - and Father's Day, too. Don't get into tussles over amount and income. You can always just buy something cute, something that refers back to your past, something she would find fun or endearing.
You're contradicting yourself. Her mother likes money in the card.
I am not a person who likes to give gifts, so I just don’t. Today I took my mom out to lunch to her favorite restaurant to celebrate Mother’s Day, but I take her to this restaurant several times a month because we both enjoy it, so I didn’t really do anything out of the ordinary. I did ask her where she wanted to eat since it’s Mother’s Day weekend and she chose this restaurant again. I also gave her a Mother’s Day card today because I know she likes cards, but she prefers to see money in the card and I didn’t put any in there because I just happened to not have any cash in my wallet today, and anything less than $50 she’s going to consider cheap anyway based on my income and she knows that I’ve been spending lots of money on other stuff lately, so it’s not an issue of me not having it.
Just wondering what are other people doing for their moms for Mother’s Day? Do I need to run out and buy something else to give to her tomorrow? I wasn’t planning to. She knows that I am just not really into holidays or gift giving, and I don’t think she should take it personally. I never expect gifts from her for any holiday because I work and I can (and do) buy my own stuff. I know that she cares about me regardless of what she gives me for my birthday, Christmas, etc. She knows that I don’t care about receiving gifts, but she just likes to give them anyway. But once she starts talking to her sisters and other women she knows and comparing what their children did for them for Mother’s Day, then she’s going to feel like I didn’t do enough for her.
If you are a mom and you have adult children, what kinds of Mother’s Day gifts are you expecting or hoping for? And what will you be doing for your mom (if she’s alive and you you have contact with her).
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33
You're contradicting yourself. Her mother likes money in the card.
of course I don't know OP's mother, but based on the bolded, I think it's extremely likely that she would prefer some type of physical gift over cash, but that she prefer cash to no gift at all. She buys gifts, which is a pretty good indicator that she also enjoys receiving them
My mom lives in another state, so I sent her See's Candy, her favorite, and a card. I will also call her. When we were closer I would take her out for brunch or to the spa. Usually I get her flowers, but she's going out of town.
I'm a mom, and all I always want is to be treated to brunch or cook for me without making me feel bad about not cooking for ONE day. My favorite flowers are daisies and would love to get a bouquet. I don't get either of those (yes, I have mentioned it time and again). My husband doesn't want to be bothered. My daughter waited until it was too late to plan anything. I told her that I just wanted to be together since it's my first mother's day since she moved out.
Mother's day was my last holiday I was looking forward to. I've given up on all the others. I still celebrate special days for others though.
of course I don't know OP's mother, but based on the bolded, I think it's extremely likely that she would prefer some type of physical gift over cash, but that she prefer cash to no gift at all. She buys gifts, which is a pretty good indicator that she also enjoys receiving them
I don't know. The OP wrote: "I also gave her a Mother’s Day card today because I know she likes cards, but she prefers to see money in the card and I didn’t put any in there because I just happened to not have any cash in my wallet today"
Perhaps she likes a physical gift and a card with some money in it.
I've always heard it's the thought that counts.. seems true so long it's a baked good, from a young person, or ikea.
However, it's hardly ever the thought that counts as an adult, husband, clothing a few sizes to large, or perspectives of city-data members.
You're Hallmark induced Mother's Day gift will meet the standards of appreciation (how much appreciation...TBD).
Last edited by SPECFRCE; 05-12-2019 at 12:32 AM..
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