Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am not a person who likes to give gifts, so I just don’t. Today I took my mom out to lunch to her favorite restaurant to celebrate Mother’s Day, but I take her to this restaurant several times a month because we both enjoy it, so I didn’t really do anything out of the ordinary. I did ask her where she wanted to eat since it’s Mother’s Day weekend and she chose this restaurant again. I also gave her a Mother’s Day card today because I know she likes cards, but she prefers to see money in the card and I didn’t put any in there because I just happened to not have any cash in my wallet today, and anything less than $50 she’s going to consider cheap anyway based on my income and she knows that I’ve been spending lots of money on other stuff lately, so it’s not an issue of me not having it.
Just wondering what are other people doing for their moms for Mother’s Day? Do I need to run out and buy something else to give to her tomorrow? I wasn’t planning to. She knows that I am just not really into holidays or gift giving, and I don’t think she should take it personally. I never expect gifts from her for any holiday because I work and I can (and do) buy my own stuff. I know that she cares about me regardless of what she gives me for my birthday, Christmas, etc. She knows that I don’t care about receiving gifts, but she just likes to give them anyway. But once she starts talking to her sisters and other women she knows and comparing what their children did for them for Mother’s Day, then she’s going to feel like I didn’t do enough for her.
If you are a mom and you have adult children, what kinds of Mother’s Day gifts are you expecting or hoping for? And what will you be doing for your mom (if she’s alive and you you have contact with her).
I give a token gift (jewelry or a little piece of art like a pottery pot etc) and do an “experience “ thing so we have shared memories.
Well, I did before my mom died.
Sorry about your mom.
I am just not a gift person. That isn’t my love language. As I said, I don’t like to receive gifts either. I make sure that I provide myself with the things that I want and I don’t expect my parents to give me anything just because it’s my birthday or a holiday. So I don’t like it when people expect me to spend money on them just because they know that I have money to spend. And sure you can say that it’s not about money, it’s the thought that counts, but I spend a lot of time with my mom so she should know that she’s appreciated without me having to buy her gifts.
Depending on your skills you could perform a service. Buy ingredients and work together to cook a dinner. This would involve communication and bonding. Repair or service something for her. Give her vehicle a full wash, wax, and detail cleaning inside and out. Build a gift based upon your skills.
Depending on your skills you could perform a service. Buy ingredients and work together to cook a dinner. This would involve communication and bonding. Repair or service something for her. Give her vehicle a full wash, wax, and detail cleaning inside and out. Build a gift based upon your skills.
But once she starts talking to her sisters and other women she knows and comparing what their children did for them for Mother’s Day, then she’s going to feel like I didn’t do enough for her.
Sometimes we do things we don't like to express our love. Shopping being one of them. And you only get one Mother. It sounds like you and she have a great relationship. It is getting late for any great gift and understandably you would rather not shop. There is always the flower option. That's basic and quick. I'd like a nice bottle of cognac if you were giving me a gift. Perfume, especially if you know what she likes.
Well, I’ve never once made a big production out of Mother’s Day, but I always at least take her out to eat somewhere. Why isn’t that good enough? If someone treated me to a meal at a restaurant of my choosing, I’d be perfectly happy with that. If she wants to do the comparison thing, that’s on her. I don’t compare her to other people’s moms and tell her that she needs to be doing what other moms are doing.
What is coming across that you may not be aware of is that you know some things your mom likes, yet you refuse to do those things. Or you just don't think about it and don't plan ahead in order to do them, which is the "thought that counts" part of giving a gift.
You know your mom likes to get money in a card. You get her a card but you don't plan ahead and take the time to put money in, so it looks like it doesn't really matter to you. (The idea that her expecting money to be in every card is another whole thread LOL).
IDK I get why you are opposed, but the whole point of a gift is to make an occasion special because you want to show that it's different from every other day. And that is usually just effort put in by someone to do a little more than they usually do.
If you have no interest in doing that, I guess that is your choice. Everybody has their own thing.
I'd be quite content with your efforts OP. I've never relied upon gifts for confirmation my sons loved me. All I ever want is a phone call or visit, even a text. And if none of those happen on a particular day? I'm still ok. They gave me the gift of motherhood, something I enjoyed for many years. I consider us even.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
