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Old 05-13-2019, 01:28 PM
 
1,626 posts, read 746,397 times
Reputation: 8875

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
I will try to be friendly to them and give them an oil painting I made. I think that would be a pretty good gift and I can say hi and try to get to know them.
Good heavens, no. There's no reason to go overboard.

That is more likely to cause a really uncomfortable situation.

Just be friendly when you see them.

And get to work on your own problems – which are what is fueling your insecurity and jealousy.
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Old 05-13-2019, 02:34 PM
 
15,087 posts, read 3,983,077 times
Reputation: 10936
You never know what is inside the houses and inside the minds.

Their child may have a genetic disease which greatly shortens their life - and you may not know about it. Same with some of their close family.

Unless you really KNOW KNOW them, you may not want to be jealous...that is, if you has to spend a week in their shoes you might desire to jump right back into yours!

Life is decisions and compromises. If you live in the same area as they do, you likely "have it made" also...at least to some degree. I'd bet your bills are lower! You probably have more time for creativity.

It's not always the truth....but appearances can fool you.

I am by no means perfect or nearly so, but I can't think of anyone who I'd rather be. That is, if there is a single thing I have learned from life it's that most everyone is suffering and what can appear to be "the great life" on the outside of often anything but.
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Old 05-13-2019, 02:46 PM
 
9,519 posts, read 13,436,132 times
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Sometimes people seem to have the perfect life but really it is just a façade.


Also, it is unhealthy to compare yourself to others. Feelings of inadequacy are not good. You are in control of your life and happiness so if something isn't right, take measures to fix it.


I had a neighbor who seemed to have the perfect life as well. We were both young & single @ the time. His house was much nicer than mine and he had a much nicer car than me. I was never jealous but looking @ his house and car, one would think he was someone who had his finances in order.


Well, the house eventually got foreclosed on. Turned out, this young guy had a lot of money issues (all sorts of debts and collections) and the house was in his mother's name and she was making the payments. The car was a hand-me-down from a family member. His mother sadly died and he couldn't make the payments anymore.


Things are not always what they seem.


Do you. If you are unhappy, change something. Don't dwell on how 'well' others 'seem to have it'. You don't always know.
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Old 05-13-2019, 03:01 PM
 
86 posts, read 33,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
Things are not always what they seem.
I remember my dad once told me "There are fake rich people, they have a big nice house but they are always in debt. They live for their house, they cannot go on any vacations and they have to count how much toilet paper they use. I rather live in a small house and be able to go on vacations and do fun stuff then live for a house or car payment."
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Old 05-13-2019, 03:02 PM
 
63 posts, read 32,564 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
They really do seem to have the perfect life. Parents with kids in their early 20s who all have expensive looking cars and they look like they get them detailed every single day. It just feels unreal, my mind is just blown away. I know the grass always seems greener on the other side and for all I know they are all up to their neck in debt but I just don't know. They all have kids too that they bring over to visit their parents.

I am not depressed or anything because of it but it is just super annoying. When the kids were younger, they use to play at their house; I tried to interact with their kids around my age but they were just so withdrawn. Eventually they took their soccer game to the backyard because they didn't want my niece, nephew or sister to play with their kids in their yard. Maybe that incident left a really bad taste in my mouth and I don't particularly care for them anymore after the way they treated the kids.
And there it is. Keep talking and it will all come out.
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Old 05-13-2019, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,939 posts, read 5,295,505 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
I remember my dad once told me "There are fake rich people, they have a big nice house but they are always in debt. They live for their house, they cannot go on any vacations and they have to count how much toilet paper they use. I rather live in a small house and be able to go on vacations and do fun stuff then live for a house or car payment."
That doesn't mean the neighbors are like that. They may be very well off and are actually living below their means. Maybe they could afford a Rolls and a house three times as big but what they have is fine for them.
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:02 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,639,332 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
I understand, my mom tried to do that with one of my paintings; but it wasn't finished so she took a painting from my cousin instead who is also an artist. Instead of my cousin giving her the real thing she gave her a piece of paper that had the same dimensions as the original. She did that also when I had a mini canvas with a miniature oil painting on it and she scaled down one of her pencil artworks, put it on some cheap paper, cut it out and made a mini painting that way.

I don't think I need therapy to get over this. Merely talking about it just made me feel better.
I never mentioned therapy, simply that you need to work on yourself
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Old 05-13-2019, 10:37 PM
 
1,103 posts, read 589,358 times
Reputation: 3902
Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
I will try to be friendly to them and give them an oil painting I made. I think that would be a pretty good gift and I can say hi and try to get to know them.
Don't do that. If a stranger (and to them you pretty much are) gave me an oil painting I'd be weirded out by it.

Just start with HELLO.

From what I can tell you haven't ever really met them.
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Old 05-14-2019, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,726 posts, read 26,753,064 times
Reputation: 20346
Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
I remember my dad once told me "There are fake rich people, they have a big nice house but they are always in debt. They live for their house, they cannot go on any vacations and they have to count how much toilet paper they use. I rather live in a small house and be able to go on vacations and do fun stuff then live for a house or car payment."
My sister and brother in law had a home built in a community in Arizona. It is a nice place with lots of people in upscale homes and upscale cars. My sister and her husband own the largest home in the development. They also own three houses in California, a 4 unit apartment complex in California, a rental in Surprise Arizona, and a home on 90 acres in Arkansas. Both of them have six figure incomes. Together they have a large net worth outside of the real estate. After going to church and getting to know the people that they went to church with they realized that all of them are competing to appear to have more. They have high debt loads and everything they own is what you see, the house and the cars. My sister and her husband don't have a car payment. They drive cars that are older. They do have cars in three states, as they fly back and forth. They realized that they don't like being around fakes. Realize that my sister and brother in law do not consider themselves wealthy at all. They do travel often, have been all over the world. They live a nice life. They live well within their means. None of those fake rich people have any idea that a couple in there 30's is wealthier than all of them.
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Old 05-14-2019, 11:29 AM
 
304 posts, read 112,830 times
Reputation: 463
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatzPaw View Post
Good heavens, no. There's no reason to go overboard.

That is more likely to cause a really uncomfortable situation.

Just be friendly when you see them.

And get to work on your own problems – which are what is fueling your insecurity and jealousy.
Not only that but if they reject the gift, how angry would the already angry OP get?
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