U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-14-2019, 12:28 PM
 
792 posts, read 325,922 times
Reputation: 2420

Advertisements

OP- you don't need to know them. Don't give them a gift; that's weird.

If they wanted to know you better, they already would have made the effort.

Their fabulousness isn't going to rub off on you. They are not going to take you into the family bosom and make you an honorary child and marry you off to some also-great person.

You focus on you. If you can't, then move.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-14-2019, 01:14 PM
 
9,429 posts, read 13,357,591 times
Reputation: 5570
Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
I remember my dad once told me "There are fake rich people, they have a big nice house but they are always in debt. They live for their house, they cannot go on any vacations and they have to count how much toilet paper they use. I rather live in a small house and be able to go on vacations and do fun stuff then live for a house or car payment."
Me too.


I also don't care what people think
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-14-2019, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,904 posts, read 5,255,297 times
Reputation: 17811
Lets look at it from the neighbor's viewpoint.

The OP is an adult that lives with his parents and doesn't work. He may have a good reason, but the neighbor doesn't know that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-14-2019, 04:15 PM
 
9,429 posts, read 13,357,591 times
Reputation: 5570
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
Lets look at it from the neighbor's viewpoint.

The OP is an adult that lives with his parents and doesn't work. He may have a good reason, but the neighbor doesn't know that.
But who cares what the neighbor thinks?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-14-2019, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,370 posts, read 35,864,624 times
Reputation: 62726
Ok, I've read the whole thread now. Here are my musings:

OP, honestly, it doesn't sound like you need therapy for this issue. Like you said, talking it out has helped tremendously so that's good.

I would not give them any sort of gift. But especially any sort of art. Art either resonates with someone or it doesn't. I also don't generally give people books either for that very reason. A book can even be on a topic that someone is interested in but if it's not written in a style they like, they aren't likely to read it. Same with art - so don't do that. You could easily end up more offended than you were to start with, and they would be embarrassed and feel awkward. Ugh.

So start with just waving at them, then saying something to them in the driveway, like "Wow, what's up with all this rain?" Something innocuous.

Now to address the image of their perfect lives. Maybe they really ARE happy, healthy, prosperous, with equally happy, healthy and prosperous kids. If so, good for them and good for their kids! Surely you wouldn't prefer to have unhealthy, unhappy, struggling neighbors. But that being said, they are people - just like you and me. They put their pants on the same way as we do, to use an old phrase. Their lives will hold joy and sorrow, triumphs and losses, health and sickness, life and death just like the rest of humanity.

Sometimes I see some woman with a perfect body and perfect hair and I think to myself, "Would I trade places with her?" My answer is always NO. The reason is because I KNOW what my own challenges and abilities are - I have no idea what hers are.

There is no such thing as "what might have been." There is only "what is." People always tend to focus on the GOOD of "what might have been." "If I hadn't broken my leg, I could have been an NFL player." Yeah, if you hadn't broken your leg, you could have also been killed in a car accident later that evening when you were in the ER instead. So there's that.

There is only WHAT IS. But you can change "what is," for yourself if you really want to. You can start by just waving at your neighbors.

Who knows - they may be jerks and they may not even wave back. So what? You've lost - nothing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-14-2019, 04:26 PM
 
12,405 posts, read 7,457,768 times
Reputation: 23238
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
But who cares what the neighbor thinks?
Apparently the OP does.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-15-2019, 03:09 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,630 posts, read 11,088,386 times
Reputation: 37655
Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
This is embarrassing to admit but it's been bothering me for a long time and I just want peace. My neighbors who have been living across the street forever have been quiet peaceful and keep to themselves. We never had fights and even interacted with each other one time. They have done nothing for me to warrant this feeling.

In my earlier years I had zero problems with them and was never jealous; but in seems the last 3-4 years this jealously in me has been growing. I have been trying to get over it but for whenever reason I just can't. I tried the "out of sight out of mind" but it is difficult since they are literally across the street and I have a big window in the room.

I don't want to be locked up in my room all day either or be afraid to go outside. Maybe you guys can talk some logic into me, it took me a lot to write this since I am so embarrassed of it. I want to be happy for them or even just stop caring.

Yeah, I think you need to talk to somebody. Most of us know people who have tons more than we do, and it doesn't eat at us, like what you are describing. I have friends who could buy and sell me, and I never give it a second thought. Unless you are the richest guy in the world, there is always going to be someone who has more than you...…...just a fact of life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-15-2019, 05:33 AM
 
8,586 posts, read 18,927,711 times
Reputation: 11415
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
Lets look at it from the neighbor's viewpoint.

The OP is an adult that lives with his parents and doesn't work. He may have a good reason, but the neighbor doesn't know that.
And he/she keeps trying to befriend them.... that’s just creepy and weird.

The op shouldn’t care what the neighbors think and the neighbors shouldn’t have to go out of their way to avoid the op.

The op does need to talk to someone about this.. it’s not normal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-15-2019, 07:27 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,823 posts, read 2,386,205 times
Reputation: 2665
Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
I feel a little bit better after talking about it. I think it wasn't just jealousy, I felt like my niece, nephew and my sister were treated unjustly when they were little over there. There was also a time a little after that I just said "hi" to one of the daughters and she just blew me off in a really rude way. We know all our immediate neighbors around us, even ones further down the street.
That's strange that they wouldn't let them play with your niece & nephew. Doesn't sound like they are friendly people.


I have been trying to pay better attention to myself lately, especially when it comes to jealousy. I think we all tend to get jealous at times...but what I do is take a step back and look at my own life and what I love about my life. We also need to remember that not everything is what it seems. NOBODY is perfect. If these people are not friendly, then that could indicate they don't have as great of a life as it seems. I would never let jealousy effect my life to the point where I don't leave my house. Do some soul searching and list the things you like about your life. If you really don't like your life, do something about it. Perhaps therapy is in order for you if you can't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2019, 06:48 AM
 
20,309 posts, read 16,482,846 times
Reputation: 38129
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
Lets look at it from the neighbor's viewpoint.

The OP is an adult that lives with his parents and doesn't work. He may have a good reason, but the neighbor doesn't know that.
Pretty sure I remember in another post OP is autistic. I’m sure the neighbors know he is different, even if not why.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top