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I will try to be friendly to them and give them an oil painting I made. I think that would be a pretty good gift and I can say hi and try to get to know them.
I will try to be friendly to them and give them an oil painting I made. I think that would be a pretty good gift and I can say hi and try to get to know them.
No, my mother was a painter. She won awards for her art. She died last year. I've been trying to give away her painting to her family. I never know how people will react. Some wanted her paintings, other said no.
It's so stress never knowing how someone will react. I wonder if her paintings are going to wind up in the garbage.
My Edit: Sometimes it is stupid like a paintings has too much blue, and their interior is purple or yellow or brown, some color that clashes with her painting. Sometimes, it is the wrong style - too traditional for a modern home. Who knows?
I remember being young and living at home. My parents had 8 kids and one income. Not a lot of cash coming in. When I was a teenager and even older, if I wanted something I had to work for it. I remember kids that would get cars from parents, either as a family car they could use or their own car that mom and dad bought for them. I remember everyone taking vacations and we never seemed to go anywhere. When the county fair came to the area my friends went but we never went. Trips to Disneyland were something that friends did not something that we did.
Something that I had to learn on my own was a lesson taught to me by another friend. He wanted the same things and realized he would need to save up on his own to get those things. The car of the day was a BMW 320I and this friend saved up the money to buy a car coming off a lease. It was 3 years old and he saved up the money to buy that car a couple years out of high school. Yes I was a bit jealous. I was driving around in a 16 year old Oldsmobile and he had a 3 year old BMW.
What happened after was I realized if I want something then I would need to work for it to acquire it. Just about any dream can come true at a later time. What that means is you need to create some dreams, find a way to acquire those dreams, and make it happen. It will take time. It will take work.
Use the jealousy that you have as a motivating factor to realize your future acquisition.
I will try to be friendly to them and give them an oil painting I made. I think that would be a pretty good gift and I can say hi and try to get to know them.
I wouldn't do that. People like to pick out their own art.
I will try to be friendly to them and give them an oil painting I made. I think that would be a pretty good gift and I can say hi and try to get to know them.
No don't do that. It will look like you're trying too hard and it will be odd coming out of nowhere. I wouldn't try to force yourself or a relationship with them at this point. It seems like they're not interested in pursing a relationship with you or members of your family. Be cordial when you see them, say hi but I wouldn't do anything else unless they initiate it (and I'd be surprised if they did).
You need to work on getting over your jealousy. It sounds like therapy would be good to help you deal with this and some of your other challenges.
They really do seem to have the perfect life. Parents with kids in their early 20s who all have expensive looking cars and they look like they get them detailed every single day. It just feels unreal, my mind is just blown away. I know the grass always seems greener on the other side and for all I know they are all up to their neck in debt but I just don't know.
From the outside, I am sure I look like I have the perfect life. In fact, I just posted Mother's Day pics yesterday with the fam that probably reinforces that facade; perfect hubby, perfect kids, perfect outing with perfect looking food. Truth is, it was a miserable day and I woke up feeling like I want to run the hell away.
Everyone has their challenges, even the ones that look soo perfect from afar.
I think it is what I really want in my life. I want to work towards that and eventually achieve that. Something just screams out to be that I am really behind and need to pick up the pace. Maybe I can use that as motivation in my own life and eventually gain more positive energy.
So basically it’s you feel bad about your life and want what they have. The worst thing you can do is try to ingratiate yourself, especially to people who are not interested in pursuing a relationship with you.
And no, don’t give away your painting. People generally like to pick out their own art.
Why don't you start with a wave next time you see them? They would probably think it very odd that after years of being ignored by you suddenly you are full of conversation and a gift.
I wouldn't do that. People like to pick out their own art.
There is nothing worse than have someone give you their art and then having to pretend you like it or feel obligated to have it up in the house when the person gifting it comes over. That kind of gift creates an uncomfortable obligation or forced gratitude. I have been doing art for over 20 years and I would never give my art to anyone unless they wanted to buy it, or asked for it, or I really knew the person well enough to know they would like it.
There is nothing worse than have someone give you their art and then having to pretend you like it or feel obligated to have it up in the house when the person gifting it comes over. That kind of gift creates an uncomfortable obligation or forced gratitude. I have been doing art for over 20 years and I would never give my art to anyone unless they wanted to buy it, or asked for it, or I really knew the person well enough to know they would like it.
I understand, my mom tried to do that with one of my paintings; but it wasn't finished so she took a painting from my cousin instead who is also an artist. Instead of my cousin giving her the real thing she gave her a piece of paper that had the same dimensions as the original. She did that also when I had a mini canvas with a miniature oil painting on it and she scaled down one of her pencil artworks, put it on some cheap paper, cut it out and made a mini painting that way.
I don't think I need therapy to get over this. Merely talking about it just made me feel better.
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