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Old 05-23-2019, 03:14 PM
 
1,299 posts, read 822,984 times
Reputation: 5459

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oklazona Bound View Post
Perhaps you should educate those people that they need to stop complaining and just be fine being broke all the time. Lets call it Poor Acceptance. Like Fat Acceptance.

But if someone comes to me and says they want to better themselves I will at least give it a shot. I can't see myself telling them to shut up and just be happy.
What? You’re moving the goalposts. Your post that i responded to indicated nothing about anyone complaining, just you judging them as inadequate and telling them how to live their lives.

This whole topic has been about people who have expressed nothing negative about their lives and are just doing what they’re doing. But other people are judge about it.

And if you think it’s just “the poor” complaining about being broke, you’re not paying attention. I know way more folks burdened with keeping up with the Joneses.

Last edited by bondaroo; 05-23-2019 at 03:35 PM..
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Old 05-23-2019, 05:31 PM
 
10,225 posts, read 7,580,886 times
Reputation: 23161
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
How come when someone thinks about “bettering themselves” it is always tied to materialistic things? The OP could stand to better themself emotionally by trying not judge others and projecting her career aspirations on others.
Because money is important in this country. It's hard to be happy without it, since you may not have even the basics of life. Health care, transportation, a job that fulfills you, Christmas gifts for the kids, meat. I've been so poor that I couldn't afford to buy meat. I lived on canned veggies on sale for a year or more, counting every nickel from paycheck to paycheck. Just enough to buy gas to get to work, a little food, etc. No health care at all (I was healthy). No dental care.

I "bettered" myself, although it took years. It was easier to be happy with the security that having a little money gave me. Once i built up my emergency fund, I began to think that becoming homeless was not a strong possibility. Then when I paid off my house, I finally breathed easy, knowing that I would have a roof over my head, no matter what.

With the better jobs came health care and a 401k that my employer contributed to. And higher Social Security benefits, when I retired.

Not having financial security did not make me a better person, and having financial security didn't make me a better person. But financial security made me physically healthier, IMO, and less likely to have to ask for help, if I had a money emergency. It helped make me more content, breathe easier, and ultimately happier. Being dirt poor and having financial security is like living two different worlds, two different countries.

When you're poor, you see ads selling things everywhere. On tv, on the internet, in the stores, on billboards. And you can't have any of it. These things are not for you. You are not participating in the world that is going on all around you. You are in a different world, a different country.

I don't know anyone who wants to be poor.
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Old 05-23-2019, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Because money is important in this country. It's hard to be happy without it, since you may not have even the basics of life. Health care, transportation, a job that fulfills you, Christmas gifts for the kids, meat. I've been so poor that I couldn't afford to buy meat. I lived on canned veggies on sale for a year or more, counting every nickel from paycheck to paycheck. Just enough to buy gas to get to work, a little food, etc. No health care at all (I was healthy). No dental care.

I "bettered" myself, although it took years. It was easier to be happy with the security that having a little money gave me. Once i built up my emergency fund, I began to think that becoming homeless was not a strong possibility. Then when I paid off my house, I finally breathed easy, knowing that I would have a roof over my head, no matter what.

With the better jobs came health care and a 401k that my employer contributed to. And higher Social Security benefits, when I retired.

Not having financial security did not make me a better person, and having financial security didn't make me a better person. But financial security made me physically healthier, IMO, and less likely to have to ask for help, if I had a money emergency. It helped make me more content, breathe easier, and ultimately happier. Being dirt poor and having financial security is like living two different worlds, two different countries.

When you're poor, you see ads selling things everywhere. On tv, on the internet, in the stores, on billboards. And you can't have any of it. These things are not for you. You are not participating in the world that is going on all around you. You are in a different world, a different country.

I don't know anyone who wants to be poor.
No one is talking about being poor or wanting to be poor. The OPs situation is one where someone who is in a relatively decent position they are satisfied with lives below their means so they can live a less stressful lifestyle. They can live with an older car and not have the newest electronics. That should be admired not just respected.

You clearly have bought into the rampant consumerism and consumption lifestyle that America pushes on everyone from birth. It is one where you work yourself to death to buy crap to impress people you don’t like in the first place.

I tell you one thing, I would not have bothered with college and had been okay working as a low-skilled worker with an older car and TV at home if I could turn back time.
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Old 05-23-2019, 07:28 PM
 
1,299 posts, read 822,984 times
Reputation: 5459
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post

When you're poor, you see ads selling things everywhere. On tv, on the internet, in the stores, on billboards. And you can't have any of it. These things are not for you. You are not participating in the world that is going on all around you. You are in a different world, a different country..
I would suggest that people who only see value in participating in society relating to buying stuff is a poor citizen. There is a lot of world out there that doesn't involve buying junk, a lot of participating to be done in any community regardless of income level.
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Old 05-24-2019, 02:52 PM
 
1,586 posts, read 1,128,951 times
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...again. This has nothing to do with being poor. The thread is really about being content with your life and how apparently some people don't like happy and fully satisfied people. Apparently everyone is supposed to be chasing after the Jones'es and if you aren't then you somehow need to report for reprogramming.
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Old 05-24-2019, 03:03 PM
 
10,225 posts, read 7,580,886 times
Reputation: 23161
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
No one is talking about being poor or wanting to be poor. The OPs situation is one where someone who is in a relatively decent position they are satisfied with lives below their means so they can live a less stressful lifestyle. They can live with an older car and not have the newest electronics. That should be admired not just respected.

You clearly have bought into the rampant consumerism and consumption lifestyle that America pushes on everyone from birth. It is one where you work yourself to death to buy crap to impress people you don’t like in the first place.

I tell you one thing, I would not have bothered with college and had been okay working as a low-skilled worker with an older car and TV at home if I could turn back time.
Being a cashier at a store working for min. wage or less IS poverty. There's this misconception that people who get food assistance or qualify for Medicaid are lazy deadbeats, living the good life off other people's work. But a lot of those people are the working class, and they are not living the good life. Most of them are one paycheck away from homelessness or tragedy because of a medical condition.

When I was poor, I was working full time. I just didn't get paid much.

Bettering yourself is a way to live on a higher level. Ponder the meaning of life, or whatever you want to do. If you don't have financial security, which comes with a good job, then your focus is on getting by, living from one financial issue to another.

It's not about a new car or tv. It's about financial security. The ability to pay for a big car repair or medical expense. The freedom from worry about financial disaster. That is bettering one's situation in life, and it's done by earning more money (and of course, living within one's means).

Last edited by bpollen; 05-24-2019 at 03:16 PM..
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Old 05-24-2019, 05:19 PM
 
3,739 posts, read 4,634,752 times
Reputation: 3430
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
Odd how you know so much about her in regards to dropping out of college, how long she has worked at a food store, but you don't know if she is happy or not?

Ever think she maybe inherited some money, or is just content and lives what she considers a comfortable life?

It would be different if she was constantly hitting you up for money, but there is no mention of that.

Mind your own business and worry about yourself or people you are close with who might have real issues.

And a little reality check, at 37 by the time she finished college she would be in her early 40s, she would be competing with much younger people for jobs in her chosen profession. So your suggestion to go into debt with a student loan(which have to be paid back) doesn't sound too bright at this stage in the game. You're not talking about a 24 year old, you're talking about someone who is approaching middle age.



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Old 05-26-2019, 02:11 PM
 
1,586 posts, read 1,128,951 times
Reputation: 5169
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Being a cashier at a store working for min. wage or less IS poverty. There's this misconception that people who get food assistance or qualify for Medicaid are lazy deadbeats, living the good life off other people's work. But a lot of those people are the working class, and they are not living the good life. Most of them are one paycheck away from homelessness or tragedy because of a medical condition.

When I was poor, I was working full time. I just didn't get paid much.

Bettering yourself is a way to live on a higher level. Ponder the meaning of life, or whatever you want to do. If you don't have financial security, which comes with a good job, then your focus is on getting by, living from one financial issue to another.

It's not about a new car or tv. It's about financial security. The ability to pay for a big car repair or medical expense. The freedom from worry about financial disaster. That is bettering one's situation in life, and it's done by earning more money (and of course, living within one's means).

...and has nothing to do with the OP original posting. The person may or may not be happy. The fact that the OP doesnt know is even more confounding that its even their problem to "worry about". The OP needs to butt out.



...by the way to the OP, many of us adults do not see "taking out a loan is being a responsible adult". The borrower is always a slave to the lender. Frankly it seems the very opposite of "responsible". If the person is debt free, they are even free'er. I see many of those "better yourself types" in high paying jobs with high education that are half as free with twice the worry as your friend. Debt is far from responsible.
.
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Old 05-26-2019, 11:05 PM
 
30,148 posts, read 11,783,240 times
Reputation: 18669
Quote:
Originally Posted by bondaroo View Post
What? You’re moving the goalposts. Your post that i responded to indicated nothing about anyone complaining, just you judging them as inadequate and telling them how to live their lives.
I don't go up to random people who appear to be struggling and try to be their hero, why would you assume that? If someone complains about their situation I will give them my 2 cents. But I will try to respond slower and clearer so you are not confused by my replies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bondaroo View Post
This whole topic has been about people who have expressed nothing negative about their lives and are just doing what they’re doing. But other people are judge about it.
No the topic is " People who don't want to 'better' themselves" and my comments were relevant to that and I got quite a few ratings bumps for them thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bondaroo View Post
And if you think it’s just “the poor” complaining about being broke, you’re not paying attention. I know way more folks burdened with keeping up with the Joneses.

I know lots of people like this too. If you don't have the latest and greatest of everything you are a loser to some. I found that more when I lived in California and less in the flyover states. But this was not the topic of the thread so I will stop there.

Last edited by Oklazona Bound; 05-26-2019 at 11:14 PM..
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Old 05-27-2019, 12:25 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
16,066 posts, read 21,138,178 times
Reputation: 43616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oklazona Bound View Post
No the topic is " People who don't want to 'better' themselves" and my comments were relevant to that and I got quite a few ratings bumps for them thank you.
That may be the title of the thread but OP directed the topic of the discussion otherwise when he made this comment
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
Does anyone know anyone like this? If she is happy, it's not anyone's place to judge, but I don't really understand this mindset. Wouldn't you want to strive for the very best in life?
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