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I tried. I studied for Police. I found out that jumping from a 14' tree shattered 50% of the cartilage in my left hip. There went police, military or any of those interesting jobs.
I trained for Medical Billing and coding...Then found out I have "Incipient Tremor" means when I am typing left hand will start shaking and flip out for 30 seconds. Thus I couldn't hit the 45 wpm they said was demanded by employers.
Had a CHF (In 2010) so heavy duty work is gone. I now work at a job I do enjoy, make $17 an hour and am happy.
Believe it or not, we have 10 workers with over 15 years at the company. THOSE people I pity. Back in 2006 wages were $8 an hour for them...Now they have gone up $9. in twenty damn years....
Oh I was making $12.50 in 2006...Then laid off. I went to MO and my God, people were still at $5.15 at Walmart....I scored 3 jobs all paying $9 or more. Then came back to catch a $8.90 an hour job and then after 9 months got laid off and that was when the economy went south and got 2 years UI....
While in MO though, I found people who LOVED their low wage jobs. There were some who on break said "Oh me and so and so, went and got drunk, then puked and drank some more"
I thought briefly "Guess your brains ain't being used for much" But then realized I was working right beside them and not going up the ladder either.
So I quit judging and simply hope they are happy and if someone asks me about work I invite them to my company. We are still hiring.... and I am happy at my job....
But you don't KNOW that her day is constant monotony - you know what YOU would consider it. If she's working retail, there could be a lot of rewards in that. When I was working at a chain bookstore, I made some of the closest friends in my life and still am close to them 20 years later, and I met a lot of people most would describe as "high achieving" who had burned out or realized the path to material/professional success was not what they thought it was or maybe what they wanted. One of the smartest guys I met there was an older man who had mostly worked at minimum wage-type jobs and never went to college. He mostly did what he wanted with life, living very frugally and just kind of drifting. That is the life he wanted, and he's one of the happiest people I know.
You cannot sit in judgment of other people's lives solely based on your personal standards.
I went to an Ivy League college. Never got a graduate degree. My two best friends have multiple grad degrees among them. I could "improve" my life by going for another degree, but ... I just don't want to devote my time to that. I have other interests, and my job is pretty awesome. It's the life I want.
You have NO IDEA what life she wants. Even if she posts it on facebook that she wants XXXX, you don't know because people don't put their true selves out there necessarily. So stop rubbernecking and offer your wise advice only if she asks.
Great post. I knew an absolutely brilliant guy, who used to say, that his ideal job would be to work as one of the guys in one of the Seattle bridge towers, who's responsible for raising and lowering the bridges, when large boats or sailboats want to get through. He said it would allow him to read and learn all day, every day, in-between bridge-raisings. IMO he had the next best thing, though; he had a very cool university staff job in the music department, and ran a radio station in his spare time.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-18-2019 at 12:32 PM..
I'm sure this has been posted before but an acquaintance of mine got me thinking
She is 37. Dropped out of college, has no degree (not even associates) and works @ a food store. Now there is nothing wrong with this, she obviously earns enough to make a living, but for me, I don't understand why someone like this would not take measures to get themselves into a better job situation.
I have no idea if she is happy doing that job or not, I just know for myself, I am ambitious and I would do something like that as a temporary situation while either trying to go back to school or get a new job, but this woman has been in the same scenario since 20 years old.
This person doesn't seem to do want to do either. I get college isn't cheap, but with online colleges being the new thing now & the fact that she IS working, I don't see online college being so out of reach for her. They are very accommodating to working people and if she looked into financial assistance, maybe she would qualify .. or you take out a loan like a responsible adult.
Does anyone know anyone like this? If she is happy, it's not anyone's place to judge, but I don't really understand this mindset. Wouldn't you want to strive for the very best in life?
So what?
Maybe her "very best in life" is to make enough money to support herself and live how she pleases. This pleases her.
That it doesn't seem like enough to you is completely irrelevant.
I’m really not judging this girl. I just think if there are more opportunities out there, why not take them?
Well yeah, you are negatively judging her. Obviously. You esteem your view on ambition and cannot fathom that others don't see it the same way. That's fine... but don't pretend you're not judging her.
She might not see potential prospects that YOU view as opportunities as such. Maybe she has a number to hit for comfort in her personal finances, hits it without any real effort (being smart and capable, as you say), and has it easy. That's her ambition. She's there. Good for her.
Her priorities may well be enriched by not chasing that corporate ladder or being driven to high stress.
When a friend of mine spent three months overseas digging ditches. .for water systems. ..he didn't come back willingly. He knew coming back would be having to deal with the slew of folks judging him . He no longer cares for the American dream. He's seen how content folks are in countries where having clean water and healthy families are good enough. Of course they do work together to farm and educate...
You never know what someone is dealing with in his/her life. It's possible this is all she handle at this time. Or maybe something in her life has left her with low self-esteem, so she thinks she won't be successful at anything she tries. Or maybe everyone in her family works at such jobs, so she doesn't see beyond that. Example leaves a very strong impression on children.
As for college, although education is a great value in and of itself, getting a degree at her age probably wouldn't pay off nearly as much as getting into a skilled field or something. Going to college would mean she would not be able to focus on her job, and have to keep a job that is flexible, so she can have options with her studies. Her current job probably wouldn't even work out, because shifts change and are set at the beginning of weeks, with little choice by cashiers (if that's what she does).
If she were my sister, I would tell her that her best option may be in a specialized secretarial field or something like that. For example, legal secretaries in large cities at good firms or large corporations can get paid quite a bit, and the benefits are excellent. I would advise going to a school where she can become a crackerjack in the various secretarial skills today, which is mainly computer skills. Scanning, imaging, typing on computers, transmission of various kinds of documents, changing types of documents to other types of documents, organization, dealing with courts and their electronic systems, etc. Her writing and speaking skills would need to be top notch (the legal field deals in words; communication skills are required more so than in some other fields).
She could do such classes at night (not as tight a schedule as college), and practice practice practice. One or two intense years. Then it might be possible to intern a few months during that time. The school might help her get a job.
Something like that. Specialized secretarial jobs are usually dead end, but that's okay. It's the pay and benefits that matter, and feeling pride at being successful at doing something that not any ol' Jane can do. There can be stepping stones, though. She could move into the HR department, records management department, etc. She could also specialize with the legal secretarial field, like a real estate specialist, or litigation specialist. Each specialized area has its own terminology and deals in different types of documents and requires somewhat different skills.
Such jobs are also good for aging people, since they don't have to stand for hours at a time.
Getting her 4 year degree won't result in actually knowing how to DO anything to make a living. At her age, that should be her top concern. She needs to work somewhere with good benefits and a great retirement package. At least that's what I'd tell her, if she were my friend/sister and she asked me. In a little over 10 years, she'll be 50. It's important that she get settled somewhere that provides a retirement plan...401K with employer contribution, or something. Her increased salary will bump up her senior Social Security benefits significantly, too. If she did this, she could actually retire and be quite comfortable in her senior years.
Or maybe she wants to get married and have kids and not work outside the home at all?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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How come when someone thinks about “bettering themselves” it is always tied to materialistic things? The OP could stand to better themself emotionally by trying not judge others and projecting her career aspirations on others.
I do have a legit disability. If that's what you're wondering about. I was raised to go to Church. Growing up, my dad instilled the importance of going to Church which stuck with me throughout life. The Church I now attend has an interpreter only at the Sunday service and management refused to work with me so I eventually quit. It was a toxic work environment for and refused to tolerate it any longer.
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