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To me, “bettering oneself,” is not about what job/career path you choose and how you are climbing the educational/money/title ladder. It is about how you treat people and make a positive impact on the world and others around you... this may have nothing to do with your career choice.
I highly dislike when people talk about their education/job/career and judge others’ choices. I highly dislike when people ask me “So what do YOU do?” Gross. Talking to someone with the OP’s sentiment would have me looking for the nearest exit. Too bad so many people, including some of my family, are this way.
Yes, it should not, but it often does. A healthy relationship also requires that both have a somewhat similar level of expectations and aspirations so that neither one feels left behind or superior.
I think women are on average more demanding (to put it mildly) on men than the other way round. Might have to do with traditional roles...
I guess this is a relationship needs thing, but that kind of thinking is a deal breaker for me. It seems old school - as you said, traditional roles. While men might seem less demanding than women, you can't force them to respect you either. It's not too hard to figure out, as they would tend to be paternalistic if they felt superior.
Perfect answer. I recently took a day off because of a blizzard and my cell phone rang and texted several times throughout the day although I wasn't getting paid because I wasn't in the office. It was simple questions that I didn't mind answering but the point is the day off the time clock was not a day off of work completely. I agree that no one is likely to be calling OP's friend to ask her where the soup is stocked while she's home trying to catch up on Grey's Anatomy.
I really wish people would stop judging those that don't have "good jobs" in their opinion and just appreciate the fact that they choose to be an honest productive member of society in any function. Thank god that someone is willing to make my sandwich or lay tar on roads so that I can drive down to Jimmy Johns and grab lunch on my break from my "big important" job. Praise be to the ones that maintain the sewer systems and pick up the garbage so we don't have to live in filth. Lastly thank you to the food store worker for keeping those shelves full so that I don't have to maintain a garden, can vegetables, raise my own chickens and hunt my own food. I don't have the vaguest idea where a taco even lives or how to trap one on my own!
What I do know is that I have a very small house, my car is going on 10 years old but still looks and runs like new and my engagement ring cost less than my current phone. My job doesn't pay big bucks but I love what I do and who I work with and not everyone can honestly say that. Not everyone needs bigger and better "things" or money to fill their life. I'm also still paying student loans for a degree I no longer use and wish I hadn't gotten. For all we know the OP's friend is happier than all of us and goes to sleep smiling every night and wakes up laughing. Maybe the last laugh is that by quitting college and simplifying her life she has bettered herself way beyond what OP could every understand.
To me, “bettering oneself,” is not about what job/career path you choose and how you are climbing the educational/money/title ladder. It is about how you treat people and make a positive impact on the world and others around you... this may have nothing to do with your career choice.
I highly dislike when people talk about their education/job/career and judge others’ choices. I highly dislike when people ask me “So what do YOU do?” Gross. Talking to someone with the OP’s sentiment would have me looking for the nearest exit. Too bad so many people, including some of my family, are this way.
I totally agree! Self-improvement is not solely career-wise, but emotionally, spiritually, etc. too. I don't know why so many are all about "what a person does" either. Society has it in their mind that one's career/job is what defines them. That shouldn't be the case at all.
I totally agree! Self-improvement is not solely career-wise, but emotionally, spiritually, etc. too. I don't know why so many are all about "what a person does" either. Society has it in their mind that one's career/job is what defines them. That shouldn't be the case at all.
I think it’s sad that people can be totally defined/stereotyped by a particular job (as the OP did to her friend). I think this is a big American thing... I would love to live in a place where no one ever asks that, so there are no pre-conceived notions from it when you meet people.
I like getting to know people without the filter of their career/accomplishments/social class, etc... And btw I am proud/happy with my work/business - I just don’t feel like talking about it on my downtime. I like to compartmentalize it.
I wish people had a desire to better their spelling.
Oops!
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane
It's kind of disturbing and paternalistic to be thinking about this woman in this way, as well as narrow minded. She's just going about her life, and you feel a need to question it, yes judge it as something "wrong" and question why she wouldn't be doing what you think is best.
Who is this directed at?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
I think some of those types get stuck thinking someone is going to come along and save them instead of them looking at what THEY could do to improve their own lives. I knew a woman like that when my daughter was growing up and friends with her kid. She was always broke, always having problems with the daughter, and she kept saying, 'The problem is that I don't have a husband to help me with any of this."
She'd been married and divorced three times--two grown sons with the first husband who left her for a younger woman, daughter with the second crazy husband who went to prison, no kids with the last one, who'd married her to get a green card and stay in the USA until his REAL fiance could come up from Costa Rica, which everyone else figured out immediately but she acted shocked and surprised when it ended the way it did.
A husband was not the solution she needed. Taking responsibility for her own life would have gotten her farther.
I think that was the case on those sites. It was predictable. Some single mom with no marketable skills all of a sudden the found herself broke because she got a divorce.
To me, “bettering oneself,” is not about what job/career path you choose and how you are climbing the educational/money/title ladder. It is about how you treat people and make a positive impact on the world and others around you... this may have nothing to do with your career choice.
I highly dislike when people talk about their education/job/career and judge others’ choices. I highly dislike when people ask me “So what do YOU do?” Gross. Talking to someone with the OP’s sentiment would have me looking for the nearest exit. Too bad so many people, including some of my family, are this way.
Excellent comments. Jackie Kennedy said "If you fail as a parent, it really doesn't matter what success you have in life".
Being kind to people and making a difference is so much more important
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoCUBS1
I think it’s sad that people can be totally defined/stereotyped by a particular job (as the OP did to her friend). I think this is a big American thing... I would love to live in a place where no one ever asks that, so there are no pre-conceived notions from it when you meet people.
I like getting to know people without the filter of their career/accomplishments/social class, etc... And btw I am proud/happy with my work/business - I just don’t feel like talking about it on my downtime. I like to compartmentalize it.
It's so refreshing to travel in Europe, especially Ireland and the UK, people actually can have conversations about various subjects. All Americans know how to say when they meet someone say a party is "what do you do?".
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