Bored of a friendship (wealthy, conversation, boyfriend, person)
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You said a few thousand dollars, and she even pay you back a couple of hundred every once in awhile?
She isn't embarrassed of you, she knows she owes you a lot money(we're not talking a $150 here), sounds like she is hoping you will fade away and the loan with it.
There are people that owe me money for phone bills etcetera from years ago that won't go away and just creep up on me.
I wish I had the OPs problem.
And some people just don't get that they were "throw away friends" from the start.
Like "fast fashion" or "throw away fashion"
When you buy "throw away fashion" you know it's just temporary. That it's not a nice, good quality, classy piece of clothing. It's something you'll wear for a little while and then throw out.
Some people don't get that they are "throw away" friends from the start.
The money part is she went to the hospital a few years ago due to a serious health problem, she had no money and needed time off so I loaned her some money to take time off and heal up because I genuinelly cared about what she was going through and wanted to help plus I still live with my dad so money is not exactly hard for me to get but that's besides the point, and because what I did she ended up at her dream job (her words). She paid me $100 of it only, I told her to take her time but it's been too long to expect it back at this point even though she's used thousands of dollars to advance at her job. Now that she has a boyfriend, if I continue to ask he is going to obviously tell me to get lost, which will trigger me and things may happen plus the other stuff I talked about in here, so I am done. I don't plan to help people anymore unless it's to donate to a legit charity and this is not the first time this has happened to me and I understand times can be tough, but not even small payments?
The money part is she went to the hospital a few years ago due to a serious health problem, she had no money and needed time off so I loaned her some money to take time off and heal up because I genuinelly cared about what she was going through and wanted to help plus I still live with my dad so money is not exactly hard for me to get but that's besides the point, and because what I did she ended up at her dream job (her words). She paid me $100 of it only, I told her to take her time but it's been too long to expect it back at this point even though she's used thousands of dollars to advance at her job. Now that she has a boyfriend, if I continue to ask he is going to obviously tell me to get lost, which will trigger me and things may happen plus the other stuff I talked about in here, so I am done. I don't plan to help people anymore unless it's to donate to a legit charity and this is not the first time this has happened to me and I understand times can be tough, but not even small payments?
It sounds like you already know you won't see the money. I mean a few years, she could have paid back a $100 a month over the last few years. Even $50 a month to make a dent in it.
That's why the rule of thumb is don't ever loan out money to anyone that you can't afford to be without.
Seems like she's already letting it fade, OP, so...just go with the flow. I don't see any need to say anything about it. If you run into her after awhile, and she asks how you've been, and how come she hasn't heard from you, say you were abut to ask her the same thing.
Well, whether it's been 5 yrs or 40, no friendship is guaranteed to last forever. People & things change. She doesn't seem like she was that interested to hang out w/ you. I hate flaky people who say, "yeah, yeah, let's get together, etc.", but they NEVER do it.
My "rule" has always been that if I have to initiate getting together 3 times in a row, I'll back off & not bother them anymore because it's pbvious then that they don't want to be friends. So it's the "3 strikes rule", which I think is pretty good to follow.
I've always believed that friendships should be 50/50...no one's doing most of the calling, initiating the meet-ups, etc. Each party needs to value each other equally because neither of them is any better than the other. Neither of their time is any more valuable than the other.
I've always lived by the philosophy that friends are nice to have, but they don't make me happy & I don't need them.
Well, whether it's been 5 yrs or 40, no friendship is guaranteed to last forever. People & things change. She doesn't seem like she was that interested to hang out w/ you. I hate flaky people who say, "yeah, yeah, let's get together, etc.", but they NEVER do it.
My "rule" has always been that if I have to initiate getting together 3 times in a row, I'll back off & not bother them anymore because it's pbvious then that they don't want to be friends. So it's the "3 strikes rule", which I think is pretty good to follow.
I've always believed that friendships should be 50/50...no one's doing most of the calling, initiating the meet-ups, etc. Each party needs to value each other equally because neither of them is any better than the other. Neither of their time is any more valuable than the other.
I've always lived by the philosophy that friends are nice to have, but they don't make me happy & I don't need them.
Who needs her! You certainly don't.
About 16 years i've known her (she's 39, I am 34), most of which we were just co workers until she quit about 3 years ago and we became friends. She definatly doesn't flake, she's 95% of the time showed up when she says she will and I am more like 70%. We used to hangout a few times a year for a coffee for atleast an hour or more, all she would give me saying she's busy :/. We have hiked a mountain a few times in the last 5 months or so and wants to go on a different one that's much harder one that's much further away with me last week but had to cancel on her due to feeling like death, splitting headache and rain and she was going to reschedule sometime once her schedule dies down.
Another chick I really care about i've known for 1/3rd of my life due to working together (she quit a few years ago, we still text/talk on phone/hangout) I am thinking of leaving. I miss how close we used to be, also got some feelings for her but I think it's due to my introverted lonliness, we hang out a few times a year but I want to hang out more I told her and she was saying she would like that and wants to stay in touch with me and i've been asking about other things then just a lame coffee date followed by a nice walk (we have more of a romantic friendship when we hang out in person), but she's all talk and does not seem to wanna hang out often except family and best friends but she really likes talking to me on the phone (we talk on it for an hour, it's awkward though), nobody phones her and said nobody likes talking on the phone these days but likes to talk to keep in touch sometimes and tells me how much she appreciates me. It's complicated for my reasoning to thinking of ending it, but I respect her and wont do it over a dumb text. Maybe just more on the phone saying we should reconnect sometime down the line when we are older. Tried to get out once, she did not let me lol.
Yes that's her. I used to be obsessed about her but that was because my depression I went through and clung to her. I'm pretty much over her now but I wish I had got my money back and know I will never see it and how some new guy does all these things with her I have been trying to do in the past or wanting her to do (like calling me because she wants to, not because I want to) and makes me feel like a ******* for all these years I tried and some new guy gets it like that, I just needed to vent in this thread pretty much rather then bring up an old thread. I don't think about her anymore, but once I found out about this new guy I started getting angry. I just wasted 3 years of my life angry.
So me and this woman I am friends with went through a lot together in the last few years, but I am getting bored of our friendship. I also used to call her at home every 2-3 weeks but it's been nearly 4 months since I last called her, I even told her to call me anytime she wants but she never calls me and I am the only one that has to call (she used to always say call anytime I want and only her mother calls her) so smh. I've asked several times in the past to see her new place but she kept saying "it's too messy, another time", but she recently found a man and he's now her boyfriend quickly after years being single and he goes over all the time and she calls him and they hang out often and I am lucky to hangout with her after everything, and it's made me realize I am bored of the friendship now. I aint going to tell her anything because I just wanna go away from this, but should I just let this fade away? or ignore her texts? After all this time being friends it really does not feel like an actual friendship and she does owe me a few grand and keeps delaying paying me saying she's broke although she does have some money and now with a boyfriend I get a feeling he will tell me to beat it.
No better way to lose a friend than to get money involved. Next time, say no.
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