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Old 05-20-2019, 06:13 PM
 
48 posts, read 10,526 times
Reputation: 83

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Yeah, a 30-year-old "Ukrainian" ballet dancer supposedly is in love with a 70-yr-old American geezer? How obvious can you get.


And btw, "Olga" isn't even a Ukrainian name. It's a Russian name. If he doesn't believe that it's a scam, you could drop that on him. Such a classic fake scenario; the guy behind the keyboard couldn't even bother to come up with a nationality-appropriate name.

Whats irritating, is that the mafia behind the screen is making off like bandits. I hate to see them get away with it.
I have a French name and I'm an American.
Moderator cut: delete

Also nearly every Ukrainian person I have ever met has had a Russian name.
And they speak Russian.

Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-20-2019 at 06:48 PM.. Reason: personal attack
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Old 05-20-2019, 06:16 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,945 posts, read 69,907,126 times
Reputation: 75735
Quote:
Originally Posted by PA2UK View Post
That doesn't necessarily mean anything. About 17% of Ukraine population is Russian - I'm sure there are lots of Russian names in Ukraine.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ukraine

Ethnic groups (2001[1])
77.8% Ukrainians
17.3% Russians
4.9% others/unspecified

Of course, it's still a scam, but not because of her name and likely pointing out that her name is Russian is not going to be the bombshell that blows the scam wide open and makes him realize it's a scam.
Yes, I know, but If she were Russian, she probably wouldn't refer to herself as Ukrainian. After this much correspondence, she surely would have said at some point, "Russian, from Ukraine".

Of course, the fact that he wasn't even able to meet her when he went all the way over there is ridiculously obvious. "She works a lot"? They can't even lie believably. They ("she") could have said she had to go away on tour with the ballet troupe, unexpectedly, or that her mother back in Russia was in the hospital, and she had to go to her mother's side, or something.
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Old 05-20-2019, 06:18 PM
 
1,511 posts, read 1,420,204 times
Reputation: 10981
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Yeah, a 30-year-old "Ukrainian" ballet dancer supposedly is in love with a 70-yr-old American geezer? How obvious can you get.


And btw, "Olga" isn't even a Ukrainian name. It's a Russian name. If he doesn't believe that it's a scam, you could drop that on him. Such a classic fake scenario; the guy behind the keyboard couldn't even bother to come up with a nationality-appropriate name.

Whats irritating, is that the mafia behind the screen is making off like bandits. I hate to see them get away with it.


Olga is a common Slavic name not exclusive to Russia and does appear in other Slavic countries, including Ukraine. This particular Olga may or may not be Ukrainian (and may, in fact, not exist at all), but the name Olga itself is not evidence of a scam.
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Old 05-20-2019, 06:19 PM
 
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
8,814 posts, read 13,576,496 times
Reputation: 11414
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Yes, I know, but If she were Russian, she probably wouldn't refer to herself as Ukrainian.
Why not? If she's Ukrainian by nationality and Russian by ethnicity, she may very well define herself by her nationality, lots of people do.
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Old 05-20-2019, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,641 posts, read 8,628,762 times
Reputation: 6758
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Just curious, OP; do you have any mutual friends with John? I'm curious as to why he divorced his wife, and wrote off his kids. Or maybe they divorced him? I'm just wondering, if this was something that had been building (or unravelling) in the marriage for years, perhaps even decades, or if it might be a sign, along with this OLD obsession, of incipient dementia.

You're a good guy to be concerned.
Hey Ruth - Thanks for the response. I must admit that I came up with the name “Olga” as I wrote the post. I don’t remember her name and I just thought of “Olga” - I need to learn Ukrainian names.

Anyhow, I only know professional musicians connected to John, and I’m hesitant to talk to any of them about this as I don’t think they are his personal friends and I don’t want to negatively impact his name as he still does some teaching/volunteering.

I never met his wife/stepkids, but I am also wondering if they left because of some sort of mental breakdown he’s beginning to experience.

I was shocked that he could even think a beautiful 30-year-old Russian ballerina (“top-ranked”) would be interested in a 70+ y.o. geezer on a fixed income... like isn’t it an obvious scam to him? I feel really sad for him. The outcome of this will not be good. He also told me he sold his beloved, rare musical instrument because he needed the money. I’m wondering if the money went to “her.” I’m going to call him tomorrow and make arrangements to tell him.

Last edited by GoCUBS1; 05-20-2019 at 06:47 PM..
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Old 05-20-2019, 06:26 PM
 
5,078 posts, read 2,457,481 times
Reputation: 4612
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoCUBS1 View Post
#2... I think youíre right... I donít know who to call on this though... someone needs to intervene but he is estranged from his wife/family and doesnít have many friends that I know of...
I think your only option is to go all-in and be there every step of the way. If he's sending money for English lessons, ask questions about the name of the language school, find out whether he gets a tax receipt after paying the tuition to the institution. If she claims that the lessons are private, he needs to insist that he wants only the best for her, and he will directly pay the language school of her choice. There are a lot of questions that can be asked here.

Everyone has a cell phone, including Ukrainian ballerinas. Suggest that you'd love to meet her, and if the only option is long distance, get her on the phone and he can introduce you using speaker phone. If he claims they can't talk on the phone due to technology issues, ask how she manages her ballet schedule without a phone? He can call her at the language school, the ballet school or the theatre.

If she's a real ballerina, she's in a ballet company. Ask for the name of it. What is she performing, where is it? Track that down and confirm that the name your friend has been given is a ballerina and that the ballerina is indeed communicating with him.

Gently ask questions until he figures it out himself. Otherwise, he's going to be swindled out of everything he owns.
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Old 05-20-2019, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,641 posts, read 8,628,762 times
Reputation: 6758
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post

Also, Americansky visas aren't expensive (compared to whatever he's already sent). $200 or so. She would also need some pocket cash (US$) to show during her visa interview: $200 is usually enough. BUT, unless she has a child (by that age, most of them do), THEY WILL NOT GIVE A VISITOR'S VISA TO SOMEONE WHO'S SINGLE! That is US Embassy policy in Eastern Europe, unless someone has a very solid, high-status job, and even then.....it's doubtful. Also, the fact that a child hasn't been mentioned is further grounds for suspicion of fraud.

So, all the above is evidence it's a scam. You could tell John the visas don't cost much (it's NOT a complicated process), and besides, singles can't get one. Proof he's being taken advantage of.

Iím not sure on all the specifics on the Visa application - he did say she has a 7 y.o. child though...
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Old 05-20-2019, 06:32 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,945 posts, read 69,907,126 times
Reputation: 75735
Quote:
Originally Posted by DCST View Post
I have a French name and I'm an American.
So you get the award for the most unintelligent comment ever lol!

Also nearly every Ukrainian person I have ever met has had a Russian name.
And they speak Russian.
There was a trend away from Russian names among Ukrainians, in the 80's & 90's; even some people who had been given Russian names at birth modified them. But...whatever.


OP, if. you're going to do this, line up the best arguments in a row. Ultimately, you can drive home the point that he went all the way over there, and she couldn't even spare a half hour for tea/coffee with him.

Even if he refuses to believe it by the end of your meeting, it could start to sink in when he gets home.

Poor guy.

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-20-2019 at 07:38 PM..
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Old 05-20-2019, 06:34 PM
 
1,875 posts, read 633,632 times
Reputation: 4878
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
You can send him a few links to dr.phil episodes where he shows victims how the scams work and proves who is scamming them. Other than that I donít know you will convince him, he will just rationalize your jealous, you don't understand, etc.
I like this approach because it gives John information but lets him come to his own conclusions. There are probably sites you can find with stories very similar to John's. You can open the conversation gently with something on the order of, "John, I even hate to bring up this possibility but if this is what's happening to you I'd never forgive myself if I just stood by and didn't say anything..." I saw a Dr. Phil episode on this just a few days ago while at the gym- old but still distinguished-looking man who had sent about $100K to a woman in Germany who probably never existed; her address was an office building under construction.

It's still possible John may refuse to believe he's being scammed and will spend more to prove it but at least you'll have tried.
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Old 05-20-2019, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Orlando
1,955 posts, read 2,608,918 times
Reputation: 7365
OP, your friend probably won't be happy if you get too heavily involved in this. He'll most likely think you are nosy and over-reaching.

Here's what I'd do: I'd meet him for lunch, or coffee, or whatever. Only you and him. I'd tell him, "Look, you're an adult and you're capable of making your own decisions. But I'm concerned about your situation, and I wouldn't feel comfortable remaining silent. This relationship raises a bunch of red flags that are the earmarks of a very common scam." Then, if he's willing to listen further, give him the details.

Let him know that if he doesn't want to talk about it any more, you won't bring it up again. Take your cue from his reaction. If he doesn't want to continue the conversation, let it go. You brought it up, as your conscience demanded that you do, and you must bow out if he wants you to.
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