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Hi all,
I've had an ongoing issue about this and I need to put a stop to it. Basically, my issue is that I'll say something that can sound like I am trying to start an argument, and the person that I am talking to (boyfriend, friend, or family member) will try to change the subject or will basically put up 'verbal warning signs' to get me to stop talking before it's too late to turn around.
I'll then ignore these warnings and just keep talking until it turns into an argument. It's almost like I feel like, even if I am given a 'warning, stop talking or else there will be an argument' I feel as it is word vomit and I have to get it out and I can't keep it in.
This has gotten me in trouble before, and I want to stop. Any advice on how I can stop this/work on it?
It all boils down to your overwhelming insecurity, which makes you needy. You have to have constant validation, or you begin to freak out. We've discussed this before in other threads.
It's hard to tell exactly what kind of solution to suggest without knowing specifically how these conversations go, but it reads as if you are feeling insecure and anxious that people aren't listening to you or don't want to discuss something, and you feel the need to shove in all the things you want to say?
You need therapy to overcome your emotional deficits. Why won't you go?
Hi all,
I've had an ongoing issue about this and I need to put a stop to it. Basically, my issue is that I'll say something that can sound like I am trying to start an argument, and the person that I am talking to (boyfriend, friend, or family member) will try to change the subject or will basically put up 'verbal warning signs' to get me to stop talking before it's too late to turn around.
I'll then ignore these warnings and just keep talking until it turns into an argument. It's almost like I feel like, even if I am given a 'warning, stop talking or else there will be an argument' I feel as it is word vomit and I have to get it out and I can't keep it in.
This has gotten me in trouble before, and I want to stop. Any advice on how I can stop this/work on it?
I know someone similar. He had an opinion on everything, was a know it all and argumentative. No topic was too trivial for him to let alone. I would dread going to family events knowing he would be there and his argumentative nature was widely discussed behind his back. At parties people would walk away from him but it didn't seem to make a difference. It also interfered with his employment. I believe he was diagnosed with some form of ADHD and is now on medication.
I know someone similar. He had an opinion on everything, was a know it all and argumentative. No topic was too trivial for him to let alone. I would dread going to family events knowing he would be there and his argumentative nature was widely discussed behind his back. At parties people would walk away from him but it didn't seem to make a difference. It also interfered with his employment. I believe he was diagnosed with some form of ADHD and is now on medication.
That’s tough.
For one, the guy probably didn’t know he was doing it. Two, people are avoiding him and he probably doesn’t even know why.
I know people like that. You say the sky is red and they will tell you no it’s blue even though it’s red at the time.
Hi all,
I've had an ongoing issue about this and I need to put a stop to it. Basically, my issue is that I'll say something that can sound like I am trying to start an argument, and the person that I am talking to (boyfriend, friend, or family member) will try to change the subject or will basically put up 'verbal warning signs' to get me to stop talking before it's too late to turn around.
I'll then ignore these warnings and just keep talking until it turns into an argument. It's almost like I feel like, even if I am given a 'warning, stop talking or else there will be an argument' I feel as it is word vomit and I have to get it out and I can't keep it in.
This has gotten me in trouble before, and I want to stop. Any advice on how I can stop this/work on it?
Can you give more info, examples of how such talk looks like?
Hi all,
I've had an ongoing issue about this and I need to put a stop to it. Basically, my issue is that I'll say something that can sound like I am trying to start an argument, and the person that I am talking to (boyfriend, friend, or family member) will try to change the subject or will basically put up 'verbal warning signs' to get me to stop talking before it's too late to turn around.
I'll then ignore these warnings and just keep talking until it turns into an argument. It's almost like I feel like, even if I am given a 'warning, stop talking or else there will be an argument' I feel as it is word vomit and I have to get it out and I can't keep it in.
This has gotten me in trouble before, and I want to stop. Any advice on how I can stop this/work on it?
Friend of mine does this, or rather used-to. My best friend, actually. It's just his nature. He was a jackass when younger, up into his 30s when he wised up. I will use no such pejorative toward OP, but that's the best descriptor for my buddy and his loud mouth.
Oh, the solution was simple: he was and is highly competent. When a little nervous he turns up the chatter. He and I discussed because my tendency is the opposite, I am a raging introvert left to my own devices, and highly competent as-well judged by what I do for a living and objective reviews from industry experts. SO: two smart guys, both a little frustrated at lack of advancement. Why?
Extroverts sometime view those who stop talking as idiots or incompetents. I find that amusing sometimes to hear, and look at them with contempt. But now, what do I do? I stop, think of a good question or comment that contributes to the flow of information, and politely interject it and defend it if-needed.
My buddy? He just says to himself, "stop now, let's listen to others." You, OP, are reading the emotional Tea Leaves right in those warning signs. Just say, internally, "stop now, let's see what transpires!" Maybe nothing, the other party is upset to the point of violence. Great: you've stopped it (maybe) and not made things worse.
When my buddy made things worse, others thought less of him. He was "that jackass," braying when he shouldn't have, and skipped over for promotions. It hit his pocketbook, hard. That's a helluva teacher. Wait, will happen to you, and maybe you'll wise up, eh? Pain is a primitive yet effective teacher.
Hi all,
I've had an ongoing issue about this and I need to put a stop to it. Basically, my issue is that I'll say something that can sound like I am trying to start an argument, and the person that I am talking to (boyfriend, friend, or family member) will try to change the subject or will basically put up 'verbal warning signs' to get me to stop talking before it's too late to turn around.
I'll then ignore these warnings and just keep talking until it turns into an argument. It's almost like I feel like, even if I am given a 'warning, stop talking or else there will be an argument' I feel as it is word vomit and I have to get it out and I can't keep it in.
This has gotten me in trouble before, and I want to stop. Any advice on how I can stop this/work on it?
Are you sure you need to stop talking?
Or is it possible that the real issue is your tone or vocabulary?
Or, if you're female, is it possible that you're just stuck with some people who feel that it's preferable that women be demure and never argue?
It's hard to know what to tell you, since you don't provide much information.
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