Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
OP, I am so very sorry that you are so disappointed in life that you are ready to end it, and at such a young age. When I was 30, I had two small children and a bad marriage. I am now 63, have 4 grandchildren and a wonderful 2nd husband. If I had given up when I was your age, I would never have experienced some of the best (and worse) times of my life. I have learned that the nature of life is ever changing and evolving. There is always something new to learn and experience, and that, IMO, makes it worth staying alive.
Even though I am in a wheelchair and always in pain I still enjoy feeling the wind on my face, the love of my family, a beautiful sky and so much more. It does sadden me that you would rather let it go than fight for it when there is so much more to it than you can even imagine. I respect your decision, though, because how you choose to live it (or stop living it) is totally up to you and no one else.
I thought maybe you were at Stage 4. As family, I would accept your choice at that point. I think Stage 2 kidney cancer is pretty curable and you have a lot of good years ahead that I think you would really enjoy if you fought through this part. I think maybe you should talk to your doctor about antidepressants.
Please rethink your decision. Find out more about treatment, its side effects, and projected longevity. It seems to me that this is too soon to give up. The fact that your decision disturbs your family tells me that you are loved.
Talk to the doc about what treatment would look like. People with diagnosed pancreatic cancer would give anything to have a treatable cancer. Please rethink.
I thought maybe you were at Stage 4. As family, I would accept your choice at that point. I think Stage 2 kidney cancer is pretty curable and you have a lot of good years ahead that I think you would really enjoy if you fought through this part. I think maybe you should talk to your doctor about antidepressants.
Whatever your choice, I wish you the best!
Especially at only 30.. I assumed this guy was 50 or older.. The family is def correct
Do I have some health impacts? Yes. I gained 80 pounds during chemo that, despite working out, have been hard to budge long term and have some lung damage from treatment. But the only time I've been in the hospital since treatment was a totally unrelated gallbladder attack. And I'm probably below average compared to many of my peers who have survived cancer, including the two people who I know who have survived kidney cancer (and they both were at least 10 years older than me!).
.
How does chemo make you gain weight? I've never heard of this. Can you explain?
OP, at 30 years old and stage 2 please seek treatment.
Your family is correct. You are basically committing suicide refusing treatment. This is very curable.
Some cancer patients don't have the choice, you do. Please choose to live.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
Reputation: 41381
I’m about the same age and I think at the end of the day a man has a right to choose his own fate. I would not hold your breath for your family to accept this at your age and being at stage 2 but at the end of the day it is your decision. You are probably going to have to make a choice as to how much you want to clue your family in on your process at some point.
I'm 30. It's Stage 2 at the moment and it's mildly aggressive. The tumour is about 8 cm long right now. I'm going through a "mild phase" where there aren't much symptoms apart from fatigue, occasional strong pain and blood in the urine.
The doctor says that once it gets to Stage 3 (when it gets to the lymph nodes), it will all unfold at a very fast rate.
I actually had to find another doctor since the first one didn't want me as a patient because I refused treatment. I'm grateful that happened because this is one actually knows how to be a doctor and is 100% better in every respect.
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74
If you were my son, I wouldn't support you either. It's one thing to be at an end stage and decide that whatever limited benefit there was from further treatment wouldn't be worth it. Families often still have a tough time accepting that, but I think it's a reasonable decision. That is completely different from having Stage 2 (and seems like only marginally into Stage 2 because of tumor size) with an extremely good prognosis from surgery alone and even better with some adjuvant therapy and instead, refusing all treatment because you choose to not believe doctors and statistics. You are committing suicide in reality and of course your family isn't going to support that.
I agree.
My husband had stage IV colon cancer and received treatment, at age 52, 13 years later he was still in 100% remission. No long term side effects and no problems from the cancer or chemo.
I had stage IV cancer at age 65 and received treatment. This is now two years later and (right now) I am in 100% remission. My doctors came as close to calling it a miracle without actually calling it a miracle. No long term side effects and no problems from the cancer or chemo.
If one of my 30 some year old children told me that they had a very, very curable cancer and were refusing treatment, I would definitely think that something else was wrong (such as serious depression) and I would very actively try to get them help.
It is a completely different situation if, for example, someone is in their 80s or 90s and the have other health issues or the doctor gave them only a few weeks or a few months to live, but in your situation Hell, No, I hope that your family fights you vigorously about this issue.
Of course it does. My brothers have children completely dependent on them. What difference does an uncle truly make?
I don't think they'll even have actual memories of me. Perhaps the oldest (who is 6 years old) might remember something one day.
You mean a lot more to your niece/nephew than you think you do!
Your family cares about you and wants the best for you. While they should respect your decisions either way, I do understand where they are coming from.
Have you gotten second opinions from doctors? Have you looked into other options? Perhaps Chemo isn't the only treatment.
I don't have any children. It doesn't mean my family loves me any less than my sister. It's sad losing a family member no matter who they are.
You seem like you have a good family that cares a lot about you. I would try to be open-minded to their POV.
I'm 30. It's Stage 2 at the moment and it's mildly aggressive. The tumour is about 8 cm long right now. I'm going through a "mild phase" where there aren't much symptoms apart from fatigue, occasional strong pain and blood in the urine.
The doctor says that once it gets to Stage 3 (when it gets to the lymph nodes), it will all unfold at a very fast rate.
I actually had to find another doctor since the first one didn't want me as a patient because I refused treatment. I'm grateful that happened because this is one actually knows how to be a doctor and is 100% better in every respect.
OMG you are only 30!
Please get treatment.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
