Are men better friends to other men than women are to other women? (person, friendship)

[49ersfan27]

In my experience, men have been better friends to me than women have. I've seen men beat each other up, and then be friends again the next day.

A woman hears a rumor about you and will stop talking to you without hearing your side of the story. That's why I preferred my male friends growing up.

My wife is the only lady friend I need. I maintain no more whatsoever and don't seek out other women.

That's just me.

[xboxmas]

Originally Posted by Joey2k

My observations match the OP's. When men and women interact we get drama, disagreements, and misunderstandings. When women interact with other women we see similar drama and cattiness. When men interact with men, they generally get along unless someone really crosses a line.

What's the common denominator where the trouble is concerned?

Men also tend to tease each other more. I feel like sometimes when a woman teases another woman, the other might take offense. Men tend to tease each other out of love.

[damnuluck]

Originally Posted by Mongobongo

I once heard it put this way...Men don't understand women. Women understand women....and they hate them.

I am curious to know if the opposite holds true as well?


"Women don't understand men. Men understand (do they?!) men...and love/hate/ignore(which one?!) them"

[tlp123]

My wife is my best friend.

[JonathanLB]

I don’t know. But I’ve observed that for my wife, there is a weird dynamic many times with her friendships that doesn’t feel like I’d want as a guy. I don’t feel any sense of competition with my friends at all. They all do different things, everyone is doing what they want to be doing, and I don’t care if my house is better than their house, who cares?! They’re my friends and I’d do anything for my friends. They’re there for me and loyal and my best friend and I have a special bond that is very important to me. I’m happy for any of his successes and I was so excited I was even there hanging out with him when he got the phone call that he got his dream job about 4 years ago now. It was such a cool moment and random he’d happen to get the call then.

The only dynamic I’ve ever noticed is physical strength. Guys can be funny about it, even when there’s no comparison. Older guys for instance. My best friend used to be way more muscular and he makes up this idea of him being fat and he’s happy he lost the weight. He was not fat, in fact I was getting disgusted at myself because I had let myself go a bit for the first time ever. My girlfriend even said he was looking good and I know she meant nothing by it, but I also knew he was way stronger than me and in better shape and 6 years younger. That bothered me, not because of him, but because I was frustrated with myself for just not being better about my fitness as I always had been before. Now I’m way stronger, he’s lost most of his muscle, and he does sometimes comment on my biceps or things like that. I know guys think about it. My other friend is strong, great shape, but I’m stronger. He will throw out lines like “well I don’t want to bench more because I don’t want to be too muscular.” Just little things like that where you know it’s total nonsense but it bothers guys to some extent knowing a friend is stronger than you are.

I should specify it only matters if you care. Guys who don’t lift actively don’t care either way, it won’t ever matter to them as it’s not a focus. My friends are all better at video games than I am and it’s not particularly close. I love them, I play more, and I still suck compared to them. But I don’t really care, I have fun, we laugh about it sometimes. I have my moments. I’m above average but barely, they’re 8 or 9 out of 10 gamers. Just nobody cares about whose better at video games, but many guys do care who’s stronger.

[Nonchalance]

Originally Posted by hertfordshire

As a woman, I disagree with all of this.

As a woman, I agree.


With the OP.

[twinkletwinkle22]

I am female 60-something and for a long time felt more comfortable with men than women. Women seemed to dislike me even though I did not flirt with their boyfriends/mates and am as pro-female as it gets. Early years I was blonde, thin and talented in my career, that seemed enough to make women not invite me to join their social groups.

But if you think I'm in the camp of "men are better", wrong. As I progressed in my career from age 30-40's I found men who previously were supportive turned nasty. Turns out they don't like women achieving more than them. I was OK as long as they felt superior to me.

My opinion is neither men nor women are really good at being friends.
I have 2 long-term female friends from high school and college and a spouse from my 20-something years who is completely supportive even though we were in the same career. He is equally talented.

Humans are competitive creatures. Men and women compete differently in different situations.
Good friends are hard to come by, make them early and keep them.

edit to add: my spouse (male) has no contact with past friends, either sex, and he's a really great guy. Anecdotally female/female friendship wins in our small sample group.

[Rowan123]

That hasn't been my experience at all. As a woman I've had great friendships with other women that have lasted decades. If I've needed help, they were absolutely there to help me.

I've had great male friends too. I think it's more about the individual than their gender.

[elyn02]

Characteristics of a good friend are the same for both men and women. You just have to determine what those characteristics are, make sure you practice them, and then find friends who have the same characteristics. I am a female and I tend to over analyze. I can tell you that before I learned to control it, males or females did not find that to be a good characteristic to have in a friend. Right now I have very good female friends because I changed.

[krosser100]

i think I agree with the OP for the most part. Women are generally more catty and vengeful

However, men as they get older, seem less inclined to maintain "these friendships"