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If I were those kids I would ask for stories about my Mother. What bad things did she do? ;-)
Lol! My one grand daughter often comes to me with the intrigue of : hey mimi is it true that my dad did xyz when he was 7? Usually a laugh follows when I say...why yes he did! Then I add a bit of further truths involving it.
Her dad is my son. So some times I simply must give her a reminder that just cuz he did that antic doesn't make it a free for all for them . They can learn without doing.
I would find it extremely uncomfortable if 15 years went by and suddenly my grand kids started acting interested. They had 15 years prior to hone that skill.
Well, maybe, maybe not. As a grandparent, I have a strong yearning and unconditional love for all my grandchildren. The 3 adopted ones have special needs. The youngest had severe failure to thrive, but after a couple of years of therapy, all of a sudden he opened up and talked with me and wanted hugs. Pure joy.
In the OP's family, with one boy autistic, there might be a touch of that running through the family, maybe the grandma also has a natural inability to communicate as fully and openly as others do naturally. Just a thought.
Whenever I think I am going to have a problem speaking with someone I just think of the alphabet... start at A, think of something pleasant that starts with it and on and on. Works every time!
^ Apples... We have had lots of conversations about apples... And pot! She just told me the funniest story about skipping school and smoking weed with friends and how they got hungry and baked a cake. My grandma came home and saw the cake and was apparently livid... Because my mom had served her friends an unfrosted cake.
Had some not so fun moments but all in all a good visit. I'm glad we are 3/4 done though.
My grandkid is almost 15 and will soon be learning to drive. I wish she would ask me how I learned to drive and what it was like taking my test to get my drivers license; and what car I learned on and what was the first car I owned.
She could also ask me who were my best friends at her age and what kinds of things we did for fun.
She could ask me how I earned spending money, did I have a curfew, how did I stay in touch with my friends without cell phones.... and, as a young teen who has always had access to a computer she could ask me when I became familiar with technology and how it impacted my life.
I think she might be interested in learning how air travel has changed in my lifetime....from making reservations to going thru security. And I’d love to hear about how she feels about air travel and the places she would love to see.
There are so many conversations I’d love to have with my grandchild, but all she wants to do when she visits is bury herself in her iphone and chat with her friends. And her parents are ok with that.
So I commend you for thinking about how to build a bridge between your sons and their grandmother.
Than why don't you say something to the parents(one of them is your child).
It's a shame you even have to do this, but it sounds like you need to.
I am looking for some ideas of good, easy and pleasant conversation starters and ideas that my boys and I can use with my mom who is coming to visit this week. Although I talk to her on the phone once a week or every other week we only see her once a year. I feel like I will mostly be fine, but even I have been blindsided by uncomfortable topics or statements. My boys are simply inexperienced with having conversations with older people and I want to guide them and give them help and confidence. I was mostly the same at their ages and I don't recall anyone actually helping me. I did a quick internet search, but the recommendations were more personal than I want to get into.. my mom has always been a private person... so I'm starting to wonder if we should treat this as someone we aren't exactly intimately related to.. like meeting some friend of the family? What kind of questions could my boys (13 and 16) ask to have a nice time with my mom at dinner?
Kids are generally not expected to start conversations. Let them learn by themselves. Adults will say things like "What are you studying at school?" What you really need to teach them is to be patient with older people who say "My, how you've grown!" If you're lucky, you might get your sons interested in hearing your mother tell them stories from her childhood or yours.
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