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Old 04-30-2008, 10:23 PM
Location: Texas
2,320 posts, read 6,044,969 times
Reputation: 1566


Personally I feel your son needs to cut the strings and grow up. He should be cheering you on and asking what he can do to make your move as comfortable as possible... tell him he isnt that old you cant kick the ever living crap out of him.. he needs to think about it...
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Old 04-30-2008, 11:34 PM
Location: Moved to town. Miss 'my' woods and critters.
25,463 posts, read 11,806,825 times
Reputation: 31621
I'm here, but both of our sons and their families have moved. I wish they could be closer. Having said that, I am very happy for them. Their lives are better for not having stayed in this very rural area. We travel, telephone, email and manage to stay as 'close' as possible. You have an opportunity that you should take. If you are in good health and can do the job, go for it. You may regret it someday if you let this pass you by. Just sit down and have a parent/child talk. Mother/son talk. He'll understand in the long run. I wish you Good Luck.
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Old 05-01-2008, 05:29 AM
Location: Looking East and hoping!
28,227 posts, read 18,940,130 times
Reputation: 2000000822
I'll just echo all the great advice given here. Don't let this opportunity pass you by-your son will come to accept your decision. Best of luck in your new journey!
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Old 05-01-2008, 06:32 AM
65 posts, read 169,651 times
Reputation: 19
Thank you so much everyone!! I sincerely appreciate your thoughts on this. I am finding it very challenging trying to understand his behavior. However, I know there is no doubt in his mind that I love him and have always wanted the best for him and cheered him on even if I didn't agree with what he was doing. I expected the same but not having his approval is not going to stop me, I can't let that happen. I went back to school and worked so hard to land this job. I am getting older and this is it! My last chance! Again, you're all awesome, thank you.
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Old 05-02-2008, 10:17 PM
3,933 posts, read 5,358,084 times
Reputation: 4139
I hate to say anything negative about your son, but, since you mentioned it, yes, I do believe he is being selfish. It makes me think that your moving would be good for your son also. It will force him not to be too dependent on you, and at his age, he needs that. I'm sure, in time, he will be happy for you, and he will be fine once he becomes accustomed to the change. Congratulations on your job.
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Old 05-03-2008, 08:12 AM
Location: NC/SC Border Patrol
21,136 posts, read 20,614,064 times
Reputation: 23136
He is just probably concerned about how to take care of you when you are older. You will probably stay young longer if you are happy and productive. Tell him you appreciate his concern for you, but you can take care of yourself and enjoy your new job.
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Old 05-03-2008, 10:25 AM
Location: Somewhere out there
2,947 posts, read 1,435,300 times
Reputation: 3452
My family has ALWAYS lived in Massachusetts, Dad's side of the family is all over the U.S.
I as an adult raised my family in MA. Eventually I re-married but that meant a move to the mid-west, here I am with all my family is back east, except my son who moved to Colorado. He's got an awesome job. We both miss our family in a major way, but for whatever reasons that a person decides that a big move is neccesary, it's their life, and the decision needs to be made by that person alone. Son does not support you financially or any other way. You need to do what you feel is in your best interest. You've raised your family, you are now an individual adult person. I hope that your son will understand when ever you need to make a decision for "your life".
If you are a close family, be prepared for missing those back home, sometimes for me it's yeah I miss my family, other times it's I miss my family desperetly and I feel lost and alone. (dad always said I was the moodiest person he knows) . Our phone bill would be a killer if we didn't have an awesom long distance plan Hubby was very smart there. Holidays are more difficult for me. Mom or Dad's birthdays and my grandsons growing up and I'm not there. Weigh all options and decide what you feel you can live with and the importance levels of each.
I wish you the very best.

P.S. maybe son is fearful for you to be gone away or maybe he is worried about missing you and not sure how he will handle your absence. There might be an emotional reason behind his negative feeling and he does not know how to express that. Use lots of communication, ask direct questions that come to mind. If you decide to move you would not want to move with ill feelings left behind on your family's shoulders or within yourself to gnaw at you from time to time.
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Old 05-09-2008, 07:17 PM
Location: MO Ozarkian in NE Hoosierana
4,679 posts, read 10,500,161 times
Reputation: 6850
As a son, can say that, at least for me, in regards to our parents (when comparing the ones you see in your mind's memory of being energetic) grow older, that there is this at times this "idealized vision", based on memories, based on what 'home' was, what it was, how would be great to go back 'there' again. You grow up from a child, around nurturing parents, they care, protect, and provide. Before you blink a few times, you all of a sudden are an adult... but only in age, cause yet in the heart, you long [to an extent] for the way 'things' were, having your pop, the strong warrior, do this, your mom, the awesome woman, do that.

dlfargher - you are, I would imagine, a security blanket; which we all need, to various extents, but with maturity and wisdom and knowledge, we [for the most part] realize that to grow, to truly become adults ourselves, that we must go our own paths, and while keeping close, as much as possible, and while showing support and love to each other, parent and child can live in distant locales. There have been already many very good posts here, much great advice - so will just chime in as another voice saying agreement that your son is being selfish, but, he needs to be strong, realize that his mother is seeking her own path, not to cause pain for him, but one that she deserves, and he would be hurting her, by not allowing you to pursue this position.

Good luck, and keep the faith in what you must do.
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Old 05-09-2008, 07:40 PM
Location: Home of King Willie the not so great
4,189 posts, read 3,049,354 times
Reputation: 794
I am very protective of my mother and would feel sad if she left BUT I would support her and encourage her to do what is best for her. I applaud you for doing that. Some people have kids and forget to take care of themselves and end up living solely for the kids while at the same time neglecting their personal wants, needs and desires. Which is understandable when kids are young. But you raised him and I am sure did an excellent job. So go ahead with the move- he will adjust in time.
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Old 05-09-2008, 08:11 PM
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 75,877,533 times
Reputation: 22814
Originally Posted by dlfargher View Post
Hello Wise Ones,
How have I missed April's biggest joke?! Should've been posted on April Fool's!

Disclaimer: I meant just the salutation, not your post.
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