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Old 05-18-2008, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 78,926,627 times
Reputation: 22814

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Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
Sierra, you are kidding me right??? I would have NEVER abandoned my friend of 7 years like that for some idiot I met one week ago. You stay with your friend, you don't just drop her off and be like see ya later. It just doesn't work like that period.

Obviously with you being a foreigner your views of how friendships work are totally different than mainstream folks.

BTW-She never saw the guy again after that night
What do you mean "abandoned"...?! You were safely taken home for cryin' out loud! Could've been the same had she had something else to do afterwards. What were you... Siamese twins?! Now if there was more to your "friendship"... I'm not a prophet... I was talking about simple gir/girl FRIENDSHIP.

If you didn't care for other people's opinions, you shouldn't have posted...
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Old 05-18-2008, 07:12 PM
 
34,990 posts, read 34,701,501 times
Reputation: 6163
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
What do you mean "abandoned"...?! You were safely taken home for cryin' out loud! Could've been the same had she had something else to do afterwards. What were you... Siamese twins?! Now if there was more to your "friendship"... I'm not a prophet... I was talking about simple gir/girl FRIENDSHIP.

If you didn't care for other people's opinions, you shouldn't have posted...
I agree. OP's second post was very rude! If that's how you are, OP, well....

"Obviously with you being a foreigner your views of how friendships work are totally different than mainstream folks."

Wow. You need to apologize.

No one cares about your silly problems enough to stand for stupid abuse. Shame on you.
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Old 05-18-2008, 08:02 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,342,225 times
Reputation: 6957
lol. wow. I didn't think she was abusive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by delusianne View Post
I agree. OP's second post was very rude! If that's how you are, OP, well....

"Obviously with you being a foreigner your views of how friendships work are totally different than mainstream folks."

Wow. You need to apologize.

No one cares about your silly problems enough to stand for stupid abuse. Shame on you.
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Old 05-18-2008, 09:27 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,011 posts, read 21,669,103 times
Reputation: 22132
If she was as good a friend as you say she was; try and see her in person, with a gift and a huge apology. Good friends are hard to come by. The older you get the harder it is. Growing up I always had many many friends, all different groups of people, punks, preppys, stoners. Then we started to grow apart.

I moved across country and made more friends, but it took me about five years before I finally met that best friend. She was wonderful we completely clicked. Our kids were the greatest of friends, it couldn't have been better. Sadly she passed away from cancer a few years later.

Friends are hard to come by, do what you have to and make up with her.
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Old 05-18-2008, 11:14 PM
 
34,990 posts, read 34,701,501 times
Reputation: 6163
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
lol. wow. I didn't think she was abusive.
I think the foreigner vs. "mainstream folks" remark was extremely ugly. I retract the "stupid abuse"/"silly problems" sentence and "shame on you" as gilding the lily.

Ok, carry on. Sorry to all!
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Old 05-19-2008, 12:14 AM
 
Location: Downtown Houston
59 posts, read 286,214 times
Reputation: 34
cleary everyone has a different view on friendship. you may think she was choosing the guy she just met over you and she might have felt that as long as you got home safely you were happy. but a 7 yr friendship should definetely not have ended like that.. thats sad to hear because i know how it feels to loose a friend over something stupid. you just have to move on and hold on to those memories you had with your friend.
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Old 05-19-2008, 07:22 AM
 
26,323 posts, read 24,443,171 times
Reputation: 16007
Default My Son

As some of you already know, there has been a great distance between my son and myself since he married 10 years ago. It has taken it's toll, as my M.S. has grown worse. I try not to think about it, and try to understand her side of it, to keep from disliking her...I know she had a very bad and deplorable childhood...I also know, that due to the horrible situation she grew up under, she had to learn to turn off her feelings...but I feel so badly for her and for my son. She doesn't have a clue, nor does she even begin to understand or care about the years of pain she has caused.

This past weekend, my sister made a comment which was incredibly comforting....she told me my DIL has missed out on a lot, just because she is immature and selfish...I didn't understand what she meant...but she finished in saying..."She missed out on having the friend in you that I and others have". Whew, I almost broke up. Years ago, she also told me, along with a few other close friends that she hoped and prayed, that my DIL wouldn't be so vindicating as to use my grand daughter to hurt me. She has.

It seems that anyone who trys to break down the wall she puts up between outsiders and her husband and daughter, are more then unwelcome.

Most of all, I miss my friend...my son and I along with his friends, were very close.

I am not saying this for sympathy...but more so, just to vent. The past 10 years has surely taken it's toll on my health.

I have tried and tried and tried only to be rejected, and now even by my son. I realize it's what he has to do...I just cannot believe he has convinced himself, that I am to blame, and that I am no good.

Even worse, I cannot believe his wife could be so cruel....so much more concerned with results rather then the feelings of others.

In this whole entire past year, regardless of our feelings with one another, there has been no pictures or calls from my grand daughter.

Now before everyone gets up in arms against my DIL, lets try and remember, she is Narcississtic. I don't believe she is able to understand normal behavior, and I do believe now, from the very beginning, she feared that I wouldn't like her to she set out to sabotage the relationship right from the get go, and turn the friendship between my son and myself into something non existent. This I do know, she from the beginning, has tried to turn him against me. And the worst part is, not only does he believe her, but he has convinced himself, that I am a bad person.

Again, I try very hard, to carry on, to forgetabout it and function....but...unfortunately, you cannot subconsciously stop grieving....try as you may....and it is most assuridly a negative force which takes it's toll on your health.

Sorry for writing such a downer today....but all I was able to do yesterday all day and last night was sleep. When you have MS, sometimes that's all you can do, as you do become weak and tired. Also, the equilibrium problem has seemed to surface again.

It is sad, how one person can effect the lives of so many others in such a negative way? Why, for what? Is it really worth it? Is she really happy inside that she has accomplished her goal?

God, I wouldn't want to be like her for all the amount of money in the world.

The only reason I tried harder then ever before in my life was for his sake, for my son. Trying only brought more rejection....and now from him to? This whole situation has made me so angry...so angry that I don't like who I've become.



Creme

Last edited by cremebrulee; 05-19-2008 at 07:39 AM..
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Old 05-19-2008, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
2,725 posts, read 4,786,967 times
Reputation: 2215
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, her guy DID take you home! I fail to see why she had to leave with you... He took you home and went back to her to continue their evening together. What's wrong with that?
I agree. I think you way overreacted.
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Old 05-19-2008, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
2,725 posts, read 4,786,967 times
Reputation: 2215
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
There are people at work I wouldn't mind socializing with and it's actually my fault I don't (they've invited me many times), but it gets too messy when you mix work with friendship.
I agree with this one too. I keep my personal life, personal.

You're pretty dam cool for a foreigner
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Old 05-19-2008, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 78,926,627 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by another_hot-day View Post
You're pretty dam cool for a foreigner
LOL, fair enough!
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