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Old 08-19-2010, 09:32 PM
 
528 posts, read 685,718 times
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Question, what is this, "she was really desperate for a man." Is that a jab? When you let her have it, did you bring up other things that were on your mind other than just that night? It just seems maybe you got really mad. Some times we can say too much and there is no going back. I don't know if that was the case with you or not. But eitehr way you can do as Maaci suggest and look for the lesson and move on.
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Old 08-20-2010, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 13,070,890 times
Reputation: 3732
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
I'll start by sharing my story: My friend and I were inseparable for about 7 years. I mean we did everything together. We were single most of the time so she was definitely my partying accomplice. When I ended up dating an extremely wealthy guy, I bought her everything when we went shopping, he paid for our trips, etc. It never once crossed my mind not to share. Well one day we were at the Arts Festival and she mentioned that she had met someone at the beach the weekend before with her cousin and they were going motorcycle riding that night. I was great have fun and text/call me when home so I know your ok. She ended up calling me a little later in the day and said his friend was going to and wanted to see if I wanted to join. (I was single at this point) I said sure. So the guys picked us up from my apartment and we rode to Bennigans and then were going to ride out to Miami Beach. We were sitting at the bar and the guy I was with orders a double crown and coke. I was like are you kidding me? He ended up getting drunk and making a fool out of him and myself. My friend was totally ignoring the situation and was in her own little world (she really was desperate for a man) Well I went into the bathroom and called her on my cell and told her to come here. I told her that theres no way Im getting on the bike with this ahole, etc. She was like I'll have my guy take you home. I was like whatever. So her date took me home and she stayed with drunk guy. I left her a vm when I got home saying I can't believe you didn't back me up as a friend and leave with me in a cab,etc. Lets just say I was really hurt because I WOULD NEVER allow my friend to be put in danger like that and I would have backed her up and left the two idiots by themselves. I mean she was totally blind to the fact that this person was hammered on a motorcycle with me on the back. She called me at 11am in the morning and we got into a huge fight and I ended up saying everything I wanted to say and it wasn't pretty let me tell you but it was the truth. We never talked again but I did run into her about 1 month later at a bar. She was like I miss you and I told her to call me but she never did. It was left at that. I sent her an email about a year later saying this was total bs and she meant more to me as a friend than anything but she never replied. Is it possible that she didn't have that email anymore or she just didn't care?? I heard through the grapevine that she got married a couple years later and I wondered if she thought of me on her wedding day as I would have been her maid of honor for sure if we stayed friends. It was like getting a divorce and was extremely painful for me. I still think of her when important things happen in my life and have I wish I could have shared and share those things with her.

Hi,

I feel your pain. I have my own story about "friends". I'm a lot like you. If I CAN do for a friend, i will and I don't expect anything in return other than to maintain our friendship. I used to be generous to a fault but after a long line of disappointments it made me all too acutely aware of what a real friend is. And trust me honey, they are few and far between.

I was married to my kids father, he worked with a guy he made friends with. At the time he was married and they also had a daughter and had just had a son, both kids the same ages as our. We met, ended up being great friends, etc. We hung out often, I ended up going through a divorce and she was my "party buddy", the more time she spent with me the more she wanted to be like me, dress nice, wear make-up, take care of myself - she was a plain jane when I met her and I really believed she lived vicariously through me.

She confessed to me that she had been unhappy in her marriage for years, needed an out, wanted divorced, etc... so she did. Once she was divorced we were pretty much inseperable too. We had the same babysitter and were best friends.

After some time, I ran into hard times, she met another guy, got married. I stuck by her, was in her wedding, etc. Have watched her kids, lied to her ex, etc... I was very loyal, expecting the same.

She got divorced again and she became more wild. We had a fight over her very wild ways, and in all reality, I don't even remember what the fight was about (usually is the case, right?) and so I moved and had been living by myself with the kids for a lil over a year, had dated someone and been dating him for about that time, maybe a lil longer. I found out she was moving to the same complex, decided to let bygones be bygones and befriended her again.

Here again, letting the past go and was a very loyal friend. It wasn't long before she was eyeballing my then b/f. She confessed when she was drunk that she had kissed him which I was shocked - not by HER actions but his. I confronted them, things got ugly, turns out they confessed that they had been sleeping together right under my nose for a few months. I was (as you can imagine) devasted. I washed my hands of them both, later found out that they got married (marriage three for her) and that he was very abusive mentally and verbally. I say it's Karma. He never laid a hand on me, never said a mean word to me, was always kind and generous in the two years I knew him.

So, don't you worry about your "friend". You are better off not having her around and she obviously enjoyed being your friend for all the perks but then when it came down to it, she put herself ahead of you. Friends come and go sweetheart but a true friend would never do that to you and THIS is what I've learned to be very true and is also why I am perfectly happy having only 1 or 2 close friends. I don't need the drama and neither do you.
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Old 08-20-2010, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Ohio
751 posts, read 1,458,802 times
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Never had any regrets about losing a friendship.My only regret was not getting out of some of them alot sooner then I did.Some of them I just wrote off as a bad debt.Too much drama.
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:19 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,748 times
Reputation: 11
Default Lost Best Friend

Around the early 70's, my best friend and I worked @ Texas Instruments in Stafford,Texas. We, too were inseparable.I got laid off and we kinda drifted apart.I ended up moving to Michigan and lost touch out of my own ignorance.Only today, do I realize how special my best friend was.I have yet to find anyone that matches that best friend trust and comfort I shared with her. I was a fool but I was just not aware that one day I would return to Texas and find nobody I knew due to my losing touch with all. I am regretful and I wish I could find her but I have tried and failed.
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Old 01-13-2011, 06:39 PM
 
Location: Inception
960 posts, read 2,257,706 times
Reputation: 1080
As a youngster, I had the uncanny ability to push the right people away while keeping wrong people around for far to long. So I doubly regret my immaturity in that I lost out on great friendships and was overburden by unhealthy relationships.
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Old 01-14-2011, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Way up high
14,123 posts, read 20,901,099 times
Reputation: 14469
Wow, I can't believe this thread has been revived!! LOL..Well needless to say to update everything, in about May of 09 I found her on FB and we reconnected. When me and the ex broke up, I came back to Miami and finally saw her. It was as if time never even passed!! We are "back together", lol. I love her husband and he loves me. I see her once a week and talk to her everyday. I really couldn't imagine not having her back in my life..

Now for the other friend situation of 30 years....lol
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Old 01-14-2011, 01:04 PM
 
6,046 posts, read 10,055,624 times
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I didn't have a long history with the guy. I met him over the summer in 2009 online, before college started. Then I met him in person at the start of college. Then I stopped being friends in March 2010 (but he might think we're still friends). Despite our short-lived friendship, I saw him on a regular basis and we considered each other good friends. Besides, this is college. The dynamics of friendship and who's friends with who can change so rapidly in college. So by college standards, a relationship of that length is not insignificant.

Anyway, I don't regret it. He held something against me for such a trivial reason. And it was supposed to be positive, but he found a way to make it negative. I was trying to be helpful, but he found a way to put a negative spin on it. Sure, it's only one thing that ended the friendship. But the fact that he did something like that says something about his character. I'm better off without him. As HurricaneDC would say "with friends like that, who needs enemies"
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