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Old 05-26-2008, 03:50 PM
 
2,934 posts, read 8,124,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
That is great. You have some good goals. You are insightful and emotionally intelligent.
Also would the girl who I was feeling angry at last night and my former close friend be able to experience the same amount of peace, joy, love and happiness when they enter the Gates of Heaven?

I would love for both of them to be treated equally and for them to experience the same amount of peace, joy, love and happiness and the same goes for my other friends past and present, even those who ended up snubbing me off.
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:12 PM
 
62 posts, read 257,667 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mopac1980 View Post
Also would the girl who I was feeling angry at last night and my former close friend be able to experience the same amount of peace, joy, love and happiness when they enter the Gates of Heaven?

I would love for both of them to be treated equally and for them to experience the same amount of peace, joy, love and happiness and the same goes for my other friends past and present, even those who ended up snubbing me off.
Who cares what it's like for any of them at the "Gates of Heaven." Please. If you're not "needy" you're definitely demanding and obsessive about other people's time and commitment to you. If you don't like how you're being treated move on and don't ponder yours or their mortal fate. If there is a gate at heaven, I'm sure god would not care if a karaoke fanatic or an online friend who didn't speak to you or devote enough time to you gets into heaven or not. Don't you think god has better things to think about? I do. You should too.

You have received some good advice here and in other posts. You can't obsess about these things. It's unhealthy and unattractive. You will have a very difficult time making lasting friendships behaving this way.
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Old 05-26-2008, 05:15 PM
 
199 posts, read 827,872 times
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Just a little insight that might help. It is difficult when someone you want as a friend or consider to be a friend doesn't seem to return the same that you've given to them. It may be that you're just not compatible for friendship. But if you know who you are you can move on from it without letting it affect your self-esteem. This one person not returning your friendship doesn't mean that there is no one out there who won't. You say you have friends thus it sems that God has given you the people who need to be in your life right now. As for the others, let it go. If they can't or won't be your friend, allowing it to make you upset will only cause emotional distress in your own life. If you know who you are you don't need any else's validation because you will know that there is nothing wrong with you, and that you are a good person and a good friend, despite whether or not they see it.
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Old 05-26-2008, 06:39 PM
 
2,934 posts, read 8,124,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bongopercylou View Post
Who cares what it's like for any of them at the "Gates of Heaven." Please. If you're not "needy" you're definitely demanding and obsessive about other people's time and commitment to you. If you don't like how you're being treated move on and don't ponder yours or their mortal fate. If there is a gate at heaven, I'm sure god would not care if a karaoke fanatic or an online friend who didn't speak to you or devote enough time to you gets into heaven or not. Don't you think god has better things to think about? I do. You should too.

You have received some good advice here and in other posts. You can't obsess about these things. It's unhealthy and unattractive. You will have a very difficult time making lasting friendships behaving this way.
I definitely have to agree with you that you shouldn't obsess about these things over people not wanting to be my friend anymore and sometimes I just want people to know where I'm coming from and what I've gone through in life, interestingly my karokee fanatic friend obsesses over the past and what he has been through and I do feel that I can relate to him pretty well.

Deep inside I'm starting to feel that if people wishes not to be my friend then I can't force them to change their opinion and to respect their wishes and move on knowing that I'll end up having other friends, sometimes I do have the tendency of going overboard expressing myself towards what I've been through in life and going through alot to where it's a classy or a sophisticated thing to do, I just thank goodness that I didn't end up becoming an alcoholic or a drug addict due to the turmoils I've gone through in life.
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Old 05-26-2008, 06:44 PM
 
2,934 posts, read 8,124,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trmaoy View Post
Just a little insight that might help. It is difficult when someone you want as a friend or consider to be a friend doesn't seem to return the same that you've given to them. It may be that you're just not compatible for friendship. But if you know who you are you can move on from it without letting it affect your self-esteem. This one person not returning your friendship doesn't mean that there is no one out there who won't. You say you have friends thus it sems that God has given you the people who need to be in your life right now. As for the others, let it go. If they can't or won't be your friend, allowing it to make you upset will only cause emotional distress in your own life. If you know who you are you don't need any else's validation because you will know that there is nothing wrong with you, and that you are a good person and a good friend, despite whether or not they see it.
I know that there is and was a reason why I became friends with the people who are in my life and that there is a reason why I've gotten snubbed off by the people who I thought were my friends, right now I am starting to think things through and to understand why I've gone through situations with my online friend didn't want to chat with me last night, my karokee obsessed friend letting his karokee performances going to his head and those who have snubbed me off in the past and I do believe there is a reason why I've gone through those situations.

I just want to be a good person and do the right thing and to make the best of what I do have in life, I do know that I'm a good person with a big heart but there are many things I would like to improve in life and there are many people who could tell that I'm a really friendly and outgoing person and that I'm not the kind of person who wants to hurt anybody.
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Old 05-26-2008, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 6,455,946 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mopac1980 View Post
Right now I am brutally angry at one of my online friends cause she didn't even bother talking to me yet she is talking with her other friends and I feel very hurt and betrayed by her behavior...What I deserve to have is friends who can provide me the good times such as road trips, boating trips, camping trips, off roading trips along with getting invited to the amusement parks, rock concerts, water skiing, jet skiing, go 4 wheeling and get invited to many get together parties...Why can't I have those friends!
Wow, what a melodramatic, immature, self-centered rant. You seemingly have a pre-Copernican notion of the universe and presume that friendship is all about fulfilling your own personal entertainment demands. I think the answer to your question about a lack of friends is quite apparent in your post.
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Old 05-26-2008, 07:26 PM
 
2,934 posts, read 8,124,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by professorsenator View Post
Wow, what a melodramatic, immature, self-centered rant. You seemingly have a pre-Copernican notion of the universe and presume that friendship is all about fulfilling your own personal entertainment demands. I think the answer to your question about a lack of friends is quite apparent in your post.

I just want to be able to experience alot of fun and entertainment in life and to be able to have a blast with friends but I guess that I just wasn't cut out to live that lifestyle or to have the friends who can provide me with that kind of lifestyle.

Right now I'm trying to make the best what I have in life and know that it's gonna get better one day and I later realized that I do have a good number of friends of all walks of life and they all know what I've had gone through in life and they're happy that I've remained on the right path of life, I am currently thinking things through right now.

I am not the kind of person who wants to hurt anybody and I do try to take the good with the bad, I do believe that there is a good reason why I am friends with the people who I'm friends with and why I've gotten snubbed off by alot of people who I thought were my friends and I also believe that I wouldn't of been any happier if I did have alot of friends or having friends who could provide me the lifestyle I wanted to live and to have alot of good entertainment in life, I know I would've been more ungrateful for the small things I have in life.
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Old 05-26-2008, 08:10 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,105 posts, read 34,553,940 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mopac1980 View Post
I just want to be able to experience alot of fun and entertainment in life and to be able to have a blast with friends but I guess that I just wasn't cut out to live that lifestyle or to have the friends who can provide me with that kind of lifestyle.
Perhaps you have an unreasonably high expectations of what you think friendships and good times should be about. Real life isn't like in the movies, tv or like in a beer commercial. It's not non stop good times and parties every weekend. And people that try to achieve that lifestyle usually become alcoholic barflies later on in life and looking tired and old before they should.

As to your original post, online friends are all well and good, but don't count on them like you would a friend or family member in real life. What you see of them on the internet is only part of who they are.

I suggest that you make some friends with people that are of all ages and interests, not just people your own age. Some of my favorite people are ones that aren't of my generation. Be more openminded about who might make you a good friend or mentor.
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Old 05-26-2008, 08:26 PM
 
2,934 posts, read 8,124,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Perhaps you have an unreasonably high expectations of what you think friendships and good times should be about. Real life isn't like in the movies, tv or like in a beer commercial. It's not non stop good times and parties every weekend. And people that try to achieve that lifestyle usually become alcoholic barflies later on in life and looking tired and old before they should.

As to your original post, online friends are all well and good, but don't count on them like you would a friend or family member in real life. What you see of them on the internet is only part of who they are.

I suggest that you make some friends with people that are of all ages and interests, not just people your own age. Some of my favorite people are ones that aren't of my generation. Be more openminded about who might make you a good friend or mentor.
I definitely agree with you on what you are saying, fortunately for me I don't like alcohol and I'm not really much of a drinker, I don't even really like going to bars at all, alot of my old friends from high school would hang out at the bars for a few beers and I sure am thankful that I'm not like that, I personally don't like the athmosphere of bars and being around them drunks, unfortunately I've lost a relative due to years of drinking.

I did treat my close online friend as if she was a real life friend and it made me realized that I've expected way too much out of her, I've been friends with this woman for nearly 3 years and we have been there for each other thick and thin.

I personally like being friends with people who are in their 40s and 50s cause they seem to have a stronger knowledge of many things in life (cars, music and what went on back in the old days) and I enjoy being around those people, I sometimes wish I grew up in their era cause of the good music and the simpler times in life, I am opened with who I wanna be friends with and I like having friends from all of the age groups.
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Old 05-26-2008, 08:40 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,105 posts, read 34,553,940 times
Reputation: 16155
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mopac1980 View Post
I just want to be able to experience alot of fun and entertainment in life and to be able to have a blast with friends but I guess that I just wasn't cut out to live that lifestyle or to have the friends who can provide me with that kind of lifestyle.
Well then, in an ideal world, what is your definition of experiencing a lot of fun and entertainment, and what is your idea of having a blast with your friends?

I feel that with our current culture, there is too much of an emphasis on us needing to experience "highs" as a definition of good times. So we're inundated with tv commercials of how wonderful Miller Time is at a clean looking non-smelly club or bar full of beautiful smiling people. And we all love that rush of caffeine or sugar from drinking coffee, sodas or candy. Or those cell phone commercials where everyone is constantly talking to or texting their friends. And if I were in college now, I still wouldn't care about during that spring break thing and going with friends to some beach to get drunk and pick up boys. Yuck.

And in real life, I find most clubs too loud and crowded and filled with rude shoving people who definitely aren't all that attractive. And I hate being pestered by phone calls and IM's of no substance. And for me, I love my quiet times. I love sitting in my yard looking at the river on a beautiful day with my dogs. And quality times with a friend is going to a good ethnic restaurant and talking with them about what's going on in our lives and our future plans.
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