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Old 06-02-2008, 01:02 PM
 
37 posts, read 163,708 times
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My husbands mother and father want to visit us in Williamsburg from California. His mother and I have had major problems in the past which have never been resolved and I do not feel comfortable having her stay in my house. I think it would be best to have them stay in a Hotel if they do come to visit. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or if I should let them stay at our house. I'm so afraid that there will be a battle if she stays. I need a little advise.
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Old 06-02-2008, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Virginia
136 posts, read 467,527 times
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Well, if you have a big enough house I would consider it. There are other things to consider also, like how long they are staying and would you have to spend every waking moment with them. Atleast they live across the country and you don't have to deal with them that much. Maybe this is an opportunity to get past the issues and move on but I don't know much about it and quite frankly it isn't any one elses business. There may be a tactful way to mention nice hotels for them to stay. Assuming they can afford it unless you plan to pay for it. That is just my opinion. I have in laws but I get along with mine for the most part. I have had them stay at my place and deal with it but I would prefer them to stay in a hotel. Good luck!
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Old 06-02-2008, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Va Beach
3,508 posts, read 11,885,168 times
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Oh heck, there are plenty of places for them to stay. House them at the Colonial Williamsburg Marriot. It's beautiful and less of a pain for ya. Our relatives do not stay with us when they visit. We don't stay with them when we visit. It's just not good karma IMO when inlaws and outlaws live under one roof, even if it's overnight!
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Old 06-02-2008, 02:10 PM
 
111 posts, read 494,103 times
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What does your husband want?
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Old 06-02-2008, 02:17 PM
 
37 posts, read 163,708 times
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I think it is best for them to stay at a hotel. My husband wants them to stay with us because they are his parents. But he does understand where I'm coming from and is leaving it up to me. I just think that it will be very hard in a smaller house with the guest room right next to ours. Plus, they will be here for 7 days. If it were a day of two, them I might be able to just bottle up the feelings and get past it. But so much has happened and they have never appologized for basically emotional abusing me for 11 years.
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Old 06-02-2008, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,716 posts, read 30,986,949 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Springhiller View Post
I think it is best for them to stay at a hotel. My husband wants them to stay with us because they are his parents. But he does understand where I'm coming from and is leaving it up to me. I just think that it will be very hard in a smaller house with the guest room right next to ours. Plus, they will be here for 7 days. If it were a day of two, them I might be able to just bottle up the feelings and get past it. But so much has happened and they have never appologized for basically emotional abusing me for 11 years.
Personally, I am with you. I don't think anyone should have to go through something like that. I had a similar experience with my ex Mother in law. I assume if the tables were turned and your parents disrespected your husband, in order to make him more at ease in his own home you would ask your parents to stay in a hotel? I know I would.

I think letting the MIL know where the line is drawn is a good thing. If she is forced down your throat, that will only give her leave to disrespect you MORE. Its like saying its OK to behave that way, there will be no repercussions for bad behavior.
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Old 06-02-2008, 02:43 PM
 
37 posts, read 163,708 times
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Lindsey, so true. If my parents did this to my husband, I would never even give it a second thought about having them stay in our home. They would simply not be welcome until they could apologize and treat my husband with respect and my husband would feel comfortable. I have tried on many occasions to make peace with her, but unfortunately every time I do, things just get worse. Thank you for everything. I needed to know that I was not crazy for thinking they should stay in a hotel. Again everyone, THANK YOU for the support!!!!
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Old 06-02-2008, 02:48 PM
 
111 posts, read 494,103 times
Reputation: 52
I disagree. If you get your way and they end up staying in a Hotel, you might regret it after they leave. You will just end up looking selfish and immature. It will cause everyone to feel uncomfortable the whole week they are there. Also, your husband might resent you for it. It's only a week. Afterward you might feel good about yourself for extending yourself when you didn't have to. I have a similar mother-in-law. She drives me crazy. She calls us and lets us know that she is comming to visit and last time she stayed three weeks. I thought about asking her to stay in a Hotel but then I realized that the situation is not just about me and what I want. It's also important to realize that your husband is her son who she rarely gets to see. I have three sons and someday I'll be the mother-in-law. I probably won't do everything perfect and it's likely that I'll say or do something to offend my dauther-in-laws because this stuff just happens with in-laws. I hope they don't reject me and send me to a Hotel. That would be heartbreaking.
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Old 06-02-2008, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Va Beach
3,508 posts, read 11,885,168 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary77 View Post
I disagree. If you get your way and they end up staying in a Hotel, you might regret it after they leave. You will just end up looking selfish and immature. It will cause everyone to feel uncomfortable the whole week they are there. Also, your husband might resent you for it. It's only a week. Afterward you might feel good about yourself for extending yourself when you didn't have to. I have a similar mother-in-law. She drives me crazy. She calls us and lets us know that she is comming to visit and last time she stayed three weeks. I thought about asking her to stay in a Hotel but then I realized that the situation is not just about me and what I want. It's also important to realize that your husband is her son who she rarely gets to see. I have three sons and someday I'll be the mother-in-law. I probably won't do everything perfect and it's likely that I'll say or do something to offend my dauther-in-laws because this stuff just happens with in-laws. I hope they don't reject me and send me to a Hotel. That would be heartbreaking.

On the contrary, it's easier to have peace and get along on a visiting situation, than to be stressed out the whole time they are there. The visits are nicer and easier for both parties when someone doesn't have to hold their tongue or anger. You married her son, not her!
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Old 06-02-2008, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Miramar Beach, FL
2,040 posts, read 3,421,419 times
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There are some nice campgrounds in Williamsburg.........hehe.

No seriously, do what will make you feel more comfortable.... and for everyone. If they end up staying with you it could create even more friction between the two of you. If she is abusive towards you emotionally........no matter who she is, you should not have to put yourself in that situation. She obviously hasn't shown you the amount of respect that you deserve so why feel that you should go out of your way for her. If your husband realizes the severity of the situation then he should understand if you decide that they make their own arrangements, assuming they are financially able to do so. Good luck!
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