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I have a friend who I never hear from, unless she is wanting help with something. It would be nice to hear from her every once in awhile, just to see how she is doing...
The second thing is when talking about different viewpoints, taking the road that being right is more important than just moving on to another topic. I can understand if the discussion is whether you are actually going to release nuclear weapons on another country (with your finger on the button)... but c'mon!! People who continually go over and over and over and over... beating the subject into a slow death just to be "right" over just saying "let's agree to disagree" to end the debate.
See, I think a respectful exchange of opposite opinions can be fun. It's when people turn it into a life-or-death ideological struggle that it becomes a strain on the friendship.
I have a friend who I never hear from, unless she is wanting help with something. It would be nice to hear from her every once in awhile, just to see how she is doing...
Those people are also known as "users." My wife has a friend like that. Never returns a phone call or an e-mail. But if she's in a jam, my wife is the first person she calls. I hate the b---h.
I'm sure we all know somebody who has habits that they show often enough... to the point it just drives us insane.
I'll start.
I have a friend I'll name Michael. Married, 3 kids. Mike is a good guy... generous, hosts dinners, etc. But he has this really bad habit that has annoyed the crap out of me.
PUNCTUALITY is not part of his vocabulary.... to him, being 30 minutes late is not too bad.
I now drive. But until recently, I didn't, so many times he would come to my house and pick me up (and drive me back). I was always grateful, but often he would agree to pick me up at a certain time and even say "Sprawling, you better be ready by 6, got it?" almost with a condescending tone.
And then, come 6:30PM... nothing. Once he was nearly 1 full hour late. He averaged 30-40 minutes of lateness several times.
But, what irritated me even more is that he never called me to inform me he'd be late. sure, things can happen... tire... accident... unexpected traffic... family emergency. But none of this ever occurred... he would just be late. So I would call and he'd say, "oh I'm almost there."
Mike and I have actually grown apart due to this (and other habits of his). But another reason that I now call and hang out w/ Mike much less now is that I've become close to Jake, who is also a friend of Mike's. Jake too has 3 children, but he's rarely ever late and if he is, he calls and his lateness is never more than 10 minutes.
Jake told me that, once, on a Sunday afternoon, Mike called Jake and invited him to meet his family at a park so the children could all play together. Jake thought it was a great idea, and went to the park. Mike was late. 1 hour passes. MOre than 1 hour. And no sign of Mike.
Jake calls Mike and Mike says, “actually Jake I'm kinda tired, so I think I'll just go home...." and Mike never shows up.
Other such incidents were common... and I started to stop calling Mike... Jake was much easier to deal with (not to mention a more fun buddy to hang out with). I have to say though... I thought people couldn't be that rude. Boy was I wrong.
Oh,I thought you were talking about friends with BENEFITS.....now that brings back some good memories!
1) People who have this compulsion to one-up anything anybody says.
Oh... oh... can I change my mind?!? THIS is number one... nothing worse than someone "one upping" someone else. Especially when you can tell the first person is hurt by it.
One time, a friend a work went fishing for the first time. He caught a fish (I don't remember... maybe 2 lbs). He was so excited. I started trying to pull him along and enjoy it, asking him what bait he used, what time of day was it, etc. Then this pr*#k jumped in and said "that's nothing... I catch 4-5 lb catfish at the river all the time!" You could almost see the wind being taken from the first guys sails. It was horrible.
My best snap at one of those was a when a bunch of high school friends and I reunited back in Calif. One guy was more successful than the rest of us and was going on and on asking each one of us what we drove. As we were answering, he said "well... just last month I drove a $90k Ferarri"... I was just so pissed that when he got to me, I said "I've been in the Navy for 17 years... I haven't had a chance to drive a nice car.. but I did drive an $800 million warship." THAT shut him up!
See, I think a respectful exchange of opposite opinions can be fun. It's when people turn it into a life-or-death ideological struggle that it becomes a strain on the friendship.
Oh... I fully agree with you there. But there's a point in time where it gets to be where I feel like this guy is accusing me of something when neither opinion (not fact) can be proven or disproven.
A change of ideas and opinions can be not only be fun, but educational in it's own way. I've had people bring up points I never even thought of... changing my opinion mid-conversation!
There arent really any peeves here, from my friends. We're all pretty close and know who likes what, or what upsets the other, so we try and keep things in a positive atmosphere.
Oh... oh... can I change my mind?!? THIS is number one... nothing worse than someone "one upping" someone else. Especially when you can tell the first person is hurt by it.
One time, a friend a work went fishing for the first time. He caught a fish (I don't remember... maybe 2 lbs). He was so excited. I started trying to pull him along and enjoy it, asking him what bait he used, what time of day was it, etc. Then this pr*#k jumped in and said "that's nothing... I catch 4-5 lb catfish at the river all the time!" You could almost see the wind being taken from the first guys sails. It was horrible.
My best snap at one of those was a when a bunch of high school friends and I reunited back in Calif. One guy was more successful than the rest of us and was going on and on asking each one of us what we drove. As we were answering, he said "well... just last month I drove a $90k Ferarri"... I was just so pissed that when he got to me, I said "I've been in the Navy for 17 years... I haven't had a chance to drive a nice car.. but I did drive an $800 million warship." THAT shut him up!
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It would be nice to hear from her every once in awhile, just to see how she is doing...
