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Old 06-09-2008, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 34,294,615 times
Reputation: 7073

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Quote:
Originally Posted by doglover29 View Post
Please tell us if you're a woman or a man, and which gender you prefer as a friend.

I'm a woman and I much prefer women friends. In fact, I've really never had a male friend. I prefer to be around women for a bunch of reasons. One reason is that the activities I enjoy are ones that women tend to enjoy more than men: chatting for hours and sharing feelings, watching chick flicks, talking about relationships, planning romantic date ideas for my husband, doing personal growth activities like going to museums and exhibits, joining book clubs, etc.

Also, I am the type of person who feels that the most important part of a relationship is sharing. Besides my husband, I really haven't met many men who enjoy this as an activity--for instance, going to a coffee shop and chatting for hours/sharing feelings on different topics. Intimate conversation of this nature is essential in a relationship for me, and is how I connect with a friend (and my husband). I doubt any guy would enjoy doing this frequently.
And how right you are...

Quote:
Originally Posted by doglover29 View Post
Also, and I know this is a broad generalization, but men tend to talk about boring stuff when they get together with their friends, such as sports, beer and cars. At least this is what my husband tells me guys talk about (and he's bored out of his mind by these conversations, which is why he doesn't like having guy friends). Women, on the other hand, tend to have a much broader repertoire of conversation topics, including interesting topics (to me) such as relationships, family, friendship, romance, etc.
I think your husband is probably some sort of evil mastermind and he has you brainwashed if you believe that. Besides, men do not actually talk about beer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by doglover29 View Post
Also, the type of activities I enjoy doing with a friend I doubt many men would go for. For instance, it seems that an activity guys would enjoy would be going to a sports bar, watching sports and drinking beer with their buddies. That's not my idea of fun. I like to have brunch and then go see a chick flick with a friend, or spend several hours chatting at a coffee shop. Would a male friend want to do either of these activities? I kind of doubt it, at least from what my husband tells me. I often ask him why he doesn't ask another guy out for brunch and a movie, and he tells me that if he did that, the other guy would think he was weird and would get uncomfortable. Women, on the other hand, would love those kinds of activities.

Anyhow, those are some of my reasons why I prefer to be friends with other gals. How about you?
It sounds like your husband loves you very much. Men will often do things for their wives that seem to be less than masculine. They will not, however, engage in "girly play" in the presence of other males without a confidentiality agreement or some sort of mutually assured destruction of reputation arrangement.
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Old 06-09-2008, 10:53 AM
 
3,124 posts, read 4,227,290 times
Reputation: 1955
I prefer my male friends sometimes; sometimes I prefer my female friends. Then there's that one friend who is both....
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Old 06-09-2008, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Wishing It Was Wisconsin
534 posts, read 1,420,092 times
Reputation: 876
Quote:
Originally Posted by doglover29 View Post
I'm interested to hear what these issues are. Could you explain more?
Their main issues are usually...

Children - Constantly crabbin' about one thing or another..It takes all my might to not tell them that they shouldn't have had them. If you can't handle one, by all means DON'T go having more! We don't have any, but I've worked with kids for 22 years and watch a 3 year old at my house. I can listen to one talk about their kids, but in a positive way.

Medical - It's one thing or another. I'm not talking serious health issues here. I would listen to those even if I have none. I'm talking this hurts, that hurts, I'm on this medicine or that medicine and it's nothing at all crucial or something that needs medical attention or medicine. One goes to the doctor for everything. Very dramatic about it all too. Does nothing but complain about it either. Most of the issues these women have wouldn't be there anymore if they did a slight lifestyle change. I can only wonder who their doctors are because mine wouldn't give me medicine for any of the things they have it for.

Husbands - Oh good lord, you would think their husbands were the worst people on earth the way they talk about them. If it isn't all about their lives and them(the women)then their husbands are horrible people. One lady whose husband works for my husband calls him constantly and if he isn't at home when he is supposed to(got busy at work and needed to stay a bit)she's calling him to find out where he is. My husband finally had to put a stop to it. These women aren't 20 somethings either, mid 30's to mid 40's. They should let their husbands breathe a little bit. Since I don't have any issues with my husband, I don't want to hear about their's unless they have something good to say, which is pretty much never. Even if hubby and I have a small tiff(rarely happens)neither of us go blabbin' it to everyone. It's nobody's business but our own.

Money - My pet peeve of conversations. Don't want to hear about your money problems. Get a job(the ones that complain don't work). We aren't rich by any means, but we know how to budget so we aren't poor. You go and spend 600 dollars on a tatoo and complain you have no money, I'll tell you to shut it. Our money discussions are just that, ours. What I just said above about us is all any friends will ever know. I can't even begin to tell you the stuff they share.

Those are the main issues(maybe issues wasn't the right word). I'm not one to ***** and whine so I can't listen to it from anyone else.
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Old 06-09-2008, 12:55 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,101 posts, read 34,528,599 times
Reputation: 16145
Quote:
Originally Posted by doglover29 View Post
I'm interested to hear what these issues are. Could you explain more?
I tone down how wonderful my boyfriend is when I am around other women. No need to make them jealous, although I think that their own relationship gripes (that I don't want to hear about) are mostly their own fault.
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:35 PM
 
Location: Va Beach
3,508 posts, read 12,136,993 times
Reputation: 1012
Quote:
Originally Posted by andreaspercheron View Post
Well said. That's kind of where I was wanting to go with my post. In short, you just don't get a lot of drama with men ever.
HUH? That is ssssssssoooooooo untrue! I work with 80 men and I can tell you, there is more drama than a female dorm!
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Old 06-09-2008, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 17,068,981 times
Reputation: 12328
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
although I think that their own relationship gripes (that I don't want to hear about) are mostly their own fault.
Isn't that the truth. Once in a while is ok when someone is having an actual problem, but when you have to sit and listen to someone gripe about their partner EVERY time you see them
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Old 06-09-2008, 04:08 PM
 
268 posts, read 79,438 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by doglover29 View Post
Please tell us if you're a woman or a man, and which gender you prefer as a friend.

I'm a woman and I much prefer women friends. In fact, I've really never had a male friend. I prefer to be around women for a bunch of reasons. One reason is that the activities I enjoy are ones that women tend to enjoy more than men: chatting for hours and sharing feelings, watching chick flicks, talking about relationships, planning romantic date ideas for my husband, doing personal growth activities like going to museums and exhibits, joining book clubs, etc.

Also, I am the type of person who feels that the most important part of a relationship is sharing. Besides my husband, I really haven't met many men who enjoy this as an activity--for instance, going to a coffee shop and chatting for hours/sharing feelings on different topics. Intimate conversation of this nature is essential in a relationship for me, and is how I connect with a friend (and my husband). I doubt any guy would enjoy doing this frequently.

Also, and I know this is a broad generalization, but men tend to talk about boring stuff when they get together with their friends, such as sports, beer and cars. At least this is what my husband tells me guys talk about (and he's bored out of his mind by these conversations, which is why he doesn't like having guy friends). Women, on the other hand, tend to have a much broader repertoire of conversation topics, including interesting topics (to me) such as relationships, family, friendship, romance, etc.

Also, the type of activities I enjoy doing with a friend I doubt many men would go for. For instance, it seems that an activity guys would enjoy would be going to a sports bar, watching sports and drinking beer with their buddies. That's not my idea of fun. I like to have brunch and then go see a chick flick with a friend, or spend several hours chatting at a coffee shop. Would a male friend want to do either of these activities? I kind of doubt it, at least from what my husband tells me. I often ask him why he doesn't ask another guy out for brunch and a movie, and he tells me that if he did that, the other guy would think he was weird and would get uncomfortable. Women, on the other hand, would love those kinds of activities.

Anyhow, those are some of my reasons why I prefer to be friends with other gals. How about you?
My favorites are gay men. They sympathize, you can tell them anything, no rivalry.
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Old 06-09-2008, 04:24 PM
 
Location: In a delirium
2,588 posts, read 4,935,071 times
Reputation: 1379
I have four extremely close friends. Three are women and one is a man. Oddly enough, three of them have very small children like I do, so we just bore each other with that talk. It's nice to have close friends in the same boat. Except for one 6-year friendship, these people have been my friends for close to 20 years now. Our conversations and activities shared have changed over the decades. Sure, lots of talk about kids now, but that will change. It always does. I can't say that I prefer male friends over female friends or vice versa. My male friend is unique in many respects in that he gets along extraordinarily well with women. He can act like one of the girls at times, but then go be manly with his guy friends. I'm just happy to have them and wish at least one of them was close by.
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Old 06-09-2008, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Land of Thought and Flow
8,323 posts, read 13,469,148 times
Reputation: 4884
I'm female and prefer male friends over girls. The biggest reason is that guys are more likely to have the same interests as this Tom Boy. Not many girls can claim these as interests:

Fishing
Hunting
NASCAR
Video Games
Sparring (as in, being involved in a sparring event)

However, if I meet females with those interests, I am actually closer to that person than males. Must be the hormones.
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Old 06-09-2008, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Catonsville, MD
2,358 posts, read 5,457,753 times
Reputation: 1680
Until I had kids, my friends were pretty much a 50-50 mix. I get along with both and have good friends in both genders. Since my kids arrived, I seem to have a whole lot more in common with women and I have lots more female friends. Since I was a stay at home mom (and since there are many more stay at home moms than dads,) I made lots of new friends and I found that I really enjoyed the comraderie and common interests and common issues.

That being said, my hubby is my number 1 best friend. We enjoy doing most of the same things (though he's really not into scrapbooking at all which I understand.) When we got married, he told me that his ex-wife had expected him to be everything for her and she expected him to be like a female friend. He told me that if I need female friends to talk to, then by all means, hang out with my friends as much as I want. He came to understand (through counseling after that marriage ended) that some women just need the friendship of other women. I appreciate this. He doesn't feel the need to be with friends like I do, but he does understand my need.

Prior to my marriage, for a number of years, my best friend was a gay guy. It was so nice to have a guy to discuss everything with without worrying about anything. I asked him many things I'd never ask a non-gay guy! We had the same taste in men, aslo, though he did prefer his gay .
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