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Old 07-23-2008, 04:48 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,593,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I'm thinking it is only passive aggressive if the person is silently angry or resentful.
Nope...passive aggressive is playing all those little games to **** people off without actually confronting them. Like being five to ten minutes late.
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Old 07-23-2008, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
543 posts, read 961,696 times
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I'm sorry but using having a family as excuse just doesn't fly for me. I've been raising my kid alone since he was born and i'm either on time or early. For those rare occasions when i am late it's never more than 15 mins and i still have enough respect for whomever i'm meeting to give a call. I guess this is b/c i have a few friends who are TOTALLY SINGLE who are ALWAYS LATE and this bothers me. I could bet me life that these people will be late every single time we make plans. I'm sorry, but as mentioned before, i think there is some kind of feeling of self-importance behind people who are perpetually late.
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Old 07-23-2008, 05:02 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,316,346 times
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Basically that is what I just said.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Nope...passive aggressive is playing all those little games to **** people off without actually confronting them. Like being five to ten minutes late.
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Old 07-23-2008, 05:04 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,316,346 times
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When I decided to leave my first job, which was a total drain on my life, I started showing up late out of rudeness. lol. What did I care, I ended up leaving.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NativeNYCer View Post
i think there is some kind of feeling of self-importance behind people who are perpetually late.
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Old 07-23-2008, 06:16 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,593,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Basically that is what I just said.
Ah. Sorry. I misunderstand. In an age of ubiquitous mobile phones, how hard is it for somebody to call ahead and say, "Hey, I'm running five minutes behind. Sorry."
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Old 07-23-2008, 06:57 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,285,111 times
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I'll have to agree that people do not do what they say they'll do & people are usually late and do not call. It really bothers me. I am a stay at home mom and out of several people I have met and tried to be friends with, there are only 2 people that are considerate to call me if they are running late, or who actually call when they say they will call. I often wonder how these people ever held jobs before. I guess that is why I was so good at my job because I kept my word on things, people could depend on me.
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Old 07-23-2008, 07:00 PM
 
26,316 posts, read 24,418,305 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by booker_one View Post
ok...am i overreacting or do i have a right to be frustrated? i am sick and tired of people saying they are going to do something and not doing it. plus, i am tired of setting up things with friends only to have them be 30 minutes late.

for example, a buddy calls and says he has tickets to a baseball game and asks if you want to go if he doesn't hear back from the guy originally going. well...he never calls back and you ask him about it and he says that he didn't get the tickets and had to work. well, how hard is it to call someone and tell them that instead of making them sit and wait? this happens too much. things like "i'll call you back in 10 minutes" turns into 2 hours.

also, how hard is it for people to be on time for things? i am 5 minutes early to everything i am supposed to do only to have the people i am meeting be 15 minutes late. i am not going to change and start being late myself. i think being on time is the right thing to do and if you are running late call someone and let them know. instead, after them being 10 minutes late and i call them to see when they are going to be there all i get is something like "dang....have you been waiting forever or something?" well, no....YOU were supposed to be here 10 freaking minutes ago!!!

this kind of stuff is just getting out of hand.
I hear ya, that is one of the main reasons I go places myself...if you wait for friends to go, you may never get there, so I stopped depending on other people and enjoying the company I keep....it is great...no waiting, no having to do what the other person wants to do...and I hate, hate, hate, when I have to wait for people b/c they're very late...a few minutes never bothers me...

Just try going by yourself, or, tell them you'll meet them there....
that way, you get to be there when you want....

hugs
creme
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Old 07-23-2008, 07:35 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,285,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
I hear ya, that is one of the main reasons I go places myself...if you wait for friends to go, you may never get there, so I stopped depending on other people and enjoying the company I keep....it is great...no waiting, no having to do what the other person wants to do...and I hate, hate, hate, when I have to wait for people b/c they're very late...a few minutes never bothers me...

Just try going by yourself, or, tell them you'll meet them there....
that way, you get to be there when you want....

hugs
creme
EXACTLY, same here! It's like I "double book" myself on purpose because people are so undependable. If that person does not make it, I have another plan. Even if I don't have my kids with me, I can eat lunch alone and not be bothered by it.
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Old 07-23-2008, 07:38 PM
 
Location: Oxford, OH
1,461 posts, read 3,277,146 times
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I'm almost always early for everything. Years ago when I was with a group I remember we had a meeting and someone was about five minutes late. I remember the director said, "you didn't waste five minutes you wasted five minutes times everyone in the room." That always affected me and I am always on time. I think it is just general good mannors.
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Old 07-23-2008, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Texas
2,330 posts, read 6,258,608 times
Reputation: 1590
Quote:
Originally Posted by booker_one View Post
ok...am i overreacting or do i have a right to be frustrated? i am sick and tired of people saying they are going to do something and not doing it. plus, i am tired of setting up things with friends only to have them be 30 minutes late.

for example, a buddy calls and says he has tickets to a baseball game and asks if you want to go if he doesn't hear back from the guy originally going. well...he never calls back and you ask him about it and he says that he didn't get the tickets and had to work. well, how hard is it to call someone and tell them that instead of making them sit and wait? this happens too much. things like "i'll call you back in 10 minutes" turns into 2 hours.

also, how hard is it for people to be on time for things? i am 5 minutes early to everything i am supposed to do only to have the people i am meeting be 15 minutes late. i am not going to change and start being late myself. i think being on time is the right thing to do and if you are running late call someone and let them know. instead, after them being 10 minutes late and i call them to see when they are going to be there all i get is something like "dang....have you been waiting forever or something?" well, no....YOU were supposed to be here 10 freaking minutes ago!!!

this kind of stuff is just getting out of hand.
This happens all of the time to me.. I tend to shrug it off.. If I didnt.. you would all see me on CNN with handcuffs on..

I think it is the times that we are living in.. no one has any respect for other people's time now a days... and of course the kids are learning that from their fathers and mothers (the very same people who are doing it to us).

What are you going to do? You can always set your friend down and tell him/her how they make you feel when you do that..

I have done that a few times... one guy changed and the other.. well, lets just say.. I do not talk to him very much anymore...
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