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It is difficult to plan things when you have a family and such so it can be stressful when people are flakes and don't think of things. I just know which of my friends I can count on being for sure and which ones I need to give a little elbow room to. I know my friends quite well, so it really doesn't bother me if they run late or if they cancel and forget to call. I usually wind up having a good time anyway.
The only time it irks me is when I drive an hour or more to see a friend who lives out of town. I've been in the situation where my friend her husband and my husband and I made plans to all go out, we get to their town and my friends husband makes other plans and my friend goes with him instead of sticking to the original plan. AND it is always somewhere they can't bring us with them. That is the only time I've been really upset about someone flaking out on me.
I have a huge need to be on time - I HATE being late - comes from having a father in the military I guess. My husband doesn't care and has a "don't rush me" attitude - it makes us crazy - everytime we're going somewhere!!! I get all 4 kids and myself ready and he's just getting out of the shower!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
I'd give them 5 seconds after the time they were supposed to meet me or call me or whatever......then, C-YA.........unless they were close family......otherwise, my time is too valuable for that stuff!
i like that idea lola...i just may have to try that one. i actually had a friend tell me "hey, it comes with the territory"...meaning that he is basically always going to be late. well....i guarantee this...next time i am leaving his a## and i am going to say the same thing.
From my experience, life in the NEW millinium is to be experienced ALONE. If for whatever reason you want to hang with "friends" expect them to show up late, be flakey, and be ADHD. That way you don't disappoint yourself. Also have plan B and C scheduled since "friends" half of the time will flake out.
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Originally Posted by booker_one
ok...am i overreacting or do i have a right to be frustrated? i am sick and tired of people saying they are going to do something and not doing it. plus, i am tired of setting up things with friends only to have them be 30 minutes late.
for example, a buddy calls and says he has tickets to a baseball game and asks if you want to go if he doesn't hear back from the guy originally going. well...he never calls back and you ask him about it and he says that he didn't get the tickets and had to work. well, how hard is it to call someone and tell them that instead of making them sit and wait? this happens too much. things like "i'll call you back in 10 minutes" turns into 2 hours.
also, how hard is it for people to be on time for things? i am 5 minutes early to everything i am supposed to do only to have the people i am meeting be 15 minutes late. i am not going to change and start being late myself. i think being on time is the right thing to do and if you are running late call someone and let them know. instead, after them being 10 minutes late and i call them to see when they are going to be there all i get is something like "dang....have you been waiting forever or something?" well, no....YOU were supposed to be here 10 freaking minutes ago!!!
Lots of rationalization here. Look, if somebody asks you to be there at 7:00 p.m., how hard can it be to be there at 7:00 p.m.? Goofing around and being consistently 10-15 minutes late means that you hold the other person's time in contempt. Not to mention that it's kind of passive aggressive.
And given that we have three kids and still manage to be on time to things, it's just not that hard to do.
i have a feeling that most people aren't as "busy" as they say they are. most people are just plain bad at managing their time...therefore they end up running around at the last minute trying to get things done when they are supposed to be somewhere else.
yes...i have a wife and son. that is beside the point though. who wants to sit in their car 15 minutes waiting on someone. i don't care who is with me in the car...it is just not fun sitting and waiting on someone who is late. i had a friend one time after being an hour late tell me "sorry, we had to get the kids ready". now, am i out of line for telling him to get his kids ready earlier instead of getting them ready when it is time to leave?
I'm thinking it is only passive aggressive if the person is silently angry or resentful.
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Originally Posted by cpg35223
Lots of rationalization here. Look, if somebody asks you to be there at 7:00 p.m., how hard can it be to be there at 7:00 p.m.? Goofing around and being consistently 10-15 minutes late means that you hold the other person's time in contempt. Not to mention that it's kind of passive aggressive.
And given that we have three kids and still manage to be on time to things, it's just not that hard to do.
I used to have a problem with individuals being late for meetings, I took care of that in a very unique way, I am the head of a very large company that is family run and I am the patriarch of the family, I have to be in the Washington, DC area about three times a year for the corporate meetings and I expect people to be to these meetings on time and when I was having a problem with individuals who couldn't show up on time I decided it was time to do something about it, so I changed the door to the board room and had a door handle put on only the inside of the door and a new door lock installed and I am the only one with the key, now the people who are supposed to be at this meeting on time are now there on time, and mind you it's only three times a year and it's scheduled well in advance so there's no excuse for being late, if you show up late and the door is shut, you don't get into the meeting. Guess what, they're not late for the meetings any more..
I hate being late, so I plan my time accordingly. I completely understand emergencies, but being consistently late is just plain rude. I'll wait around for ten minutes, then I'm gone!
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From my experience, life in the NEW millinium is to be experienced ALONE. If for whatever reason you want to hang with "friends" expect them to show up late, be flakey, and be ADHD. That way you don't disappoint yourself. Also have plan B and C scheduled since "friends" half of the time will flake out. 
