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CPG, my neighbor had just moved into our neighborhood and were going to do so me renovations on their home but no plans had been confirmed. The neighbors went out of town for the week and came home to find NO trees in their front and side yard!!! They went to the other neighbors to ask if they had seen anything and they told them a tree company had been in the yard.
The tree company was called and guess who scheduled them?? The FIL!!! Not only that, he had them cut the trees from the wrong side of the house!!! I never heard what ever happened with the FIL...I was afraid to ask
Well, if there's a fresh mound of earth in the back yard, you have a clue.
My FIL is just your basic arrogant a-hole. He thinks he knows what's best for everybody, and tells them. His five children, all in their 30s and 40s, just docilely nod at his sage advice, which is often ludicrous. However, I set the tone early in our marriage. When he started blathering on at the dinner table about what I was doing in my professional life, I said nicely, "I'm sorry, but when I want your opinion I'll ask for it. Thanks." And resumed eating.
Location: When things get hot they expand. Im not fat. Im hot.
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Thats interesting. I never considered that they were trying to "organize" me. More like theyre telling me what they think is wrong with me so I can fix it and be "normal" like them. What is "normal" anyway. And who picked them as the Prophet. Besides maybe I like being abnormal. Im not broke I dont need fixed.
I usually just listen and then do as I please. I see no need to argue. Im the only one who gets to decide for me so Im either gonna do it or Im not. Sometimes they just wont take no for an answer tho. if theyre nice I tell them to back off nicely. But if they get too obnoxious I tell them what I think is wrong with them.
Hey. Ever think not every body wants to know what you think is wrong with them.
Well, if there's a fresh mound of earth in the back yard, you have a clue.
My FIL is just your basic arrogant a-hole. He thinks he knows what's best for everybody, and tells them. His five children, all in their 30s and 40s, just docilely nod at his sage advice, which is often ludicrous. However, I set the tone early in our marriage. When he started blathering on at the dinner table about what I was doing in my professional life, I said nicely, "I'm sorry, but when I want your opinion I'll ask for it. Thanks." And resumed eating.
I'll go check for any disturbances in the ground, or a new "patio"...
Can you imagine??? They even called the police before they called the neighbors!
You know, I had an administrative assistant once who was 19 when she got married to the biggest goober on the planet. I mean, this guy was the most pathetic Mama's boy ever.
His parents, without consulting her, bought them a house three doors down the street. She asked me what I thought, and I said, "Uh oh. Your life is about to be big trouble."
Sure enough, the MIL and FIL were ALWAYS over there getting into their business. The goober husband would be out mowing their yard, and the mother would come down with a glass of lemonade. They were always sniping at how Amy did things, how he did things, etc. etc. etc. Almost every day, and absolutely every Monday morning, I'd hear the litany of fresh outrages at the hands of the in-laws.
She asked me what I'd recommend, and I recommended saying, "Okay, either you're married to your parents or you're married to me. Decide."
The next week, they planted a For Sale sign in their yard and moved five or six miles away. I left for another job, so I never heard how things worked out.
Location: When things get hot they expand. Im not fat. Im hot.
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I think Id be calling the police too if some Yahoo cut down my trees. My Outlaws are not talking to me. But thats another thread. Seems Im a trouble maker and they expect an apology. Which Im not giving. So theyre not talking to me. Yippie!!
I guess Ive been lucky so far. Nobody has actually physically messed with any of my stuff. Just crtitiques. Thanks to these people and others in the know Ive found out that I cant dress myself. Im wearing the wrong glasses, My yard is a mess, I dont know how to decorate and my house is too dark inside. Oh and my hair is too long. And Im not feminine cause I dont wear pink.
I think Id be calling the police too if some Yahoo cut down my trees. My Outlaws are not talking to me. But thats another thread. Seems Im a trouble maker and they expect an apology. Which Im not giving. So theyre not talking to me. Yippie!!
I guess Ive been lucky so far. Nobody has actually physically messed with any of my stuff. Just crtitiques. Thanks to these people and others in the know Ive found out that I cant dress myself. Im wearing the wrong glasses, My yard is a mess, I dont know how to decorate and my house is too dark inside. Oh and my hair is too long. And Im not feminine cause I dont wear pink.
I have not had any of my in laws mess with my stuff but the SIL has complained about the color of my shutters! They are historically accurate for the house. Anyway, her son said something about his mother not liking the shutter color and I told him" Well, when your mother can afford the mortgage payments she can make the decision to change them"...I still feel bad about saying that
My MIL cut my sons hair when he was a baby and changed his bottles while she was watching him...that 's about it, though.
So only three people in your life have tried to organize you or offer advice you didn't want? And you're grousing about it? You have an awfully keen memory of events that are so widely spaced.
What's up with that?
Not a damn thing. They just stand out in that the remainder of my friends are more educated and more accomplished yet capable of respectful dialogue without a "telling" style. The difference is so glaring, that it stands out.
And, yes, my parents, just like most parents, often had a "telling" style. I figuratively gave them the "middle finger" quite often.
Can't it also be, to some extent, that people who suffer from an inferiority complex tend to overcompensate or deflect it with a superiority complex? I see this in some of these people, particularly the lady with a drinking problem who was my Mom's neighbor/fellow parishioner.
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