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Old 09-15-2008, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,530 posts, read 8,719,122 times
Reputation: 840

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So I was shopping today and I heard footsteps behind me, heels, then I heard a pause, then quieter footsteps gonig away. I turn around and recognize my friend. Well, used to be friend. We used to work together and I thought we were pretty good friends. We used to have drinks after work and talked about getting together over the weekends.

I quit that job and we kept in touch...for awhile. Then all of a sudden, she stopped returning my emails. Just like that. I waited for months, then sent one more just to see if she'd respond. I called the place she works at and asked if she was still there. She is.

So, for some unknown reason she decided she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I totally recognized her almost creeping away from me in the store. I was really bothered so just left the place.

Have any of you had friends dump you? I'm in my 30s, so this isn't a teeny bopper thing!
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Old 09-15-2008, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 20,192,437 times
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I know that your feelings must be hurt, but it is very difficult to keep up relationships without a lot of effort on all parties. When you saw her, did you stop to talk and ask how she was doing? I know that I am so busy that while I would like to see people, I usually only have time on the weekends and that is usually reserved for family. When I have discontinued a friendship, it was because the person brought too much negativity to me and I refuse to have that in my life. Office friendships have a way of burning out when someone leaves the office permanently because there is always someone else to take the place.
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Old 09-15-2008, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,530 posts, read 8,719,122 times
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Thanks SXM. I didn't talk to her, because when I saw her creeping backwards, I realized what was going on and I thought to myself, well, if that's how you feel, I'm not going to make an *ss out of myself and force myself on you!

See, we both left the same place of work. She's somewhere else and so am I. It's just so weird. We were emailing, talking about family and such. I was going on vacation out of the country, and she was like, oh have so much fun, send me pics. So when I got back, I sent her pics. No response. Then I followed up, like hey are you there? No response. I called her. Left a message. Nothing. And that was that.

Yeah, my feelings are/were hurt, but not that bad I suppose. Part of me thinks, well, good riddance. I mean, it sort of shows her character.

**oh and she's so not the busy type. She was always asking me to do stuff with her and I did -- to put out that effort you are talking about. Her kids are grown and moved out and she hardly dated at all.
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Old 09-15-2008, 02:00 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,301,022 times
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Hey there,

Maybe she has problems that you haven't imagined yet or never knew about...Also I'm sorry to hear about that.
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Old 09-15-2008, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 78,836,141 times
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Work relations rarely continue for long after you no longer work together.
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Old 09-15-2008, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,530 posts, read 8,719,122 times
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Artsy and Sierra:

I know. I mean I know that it was a work thing. Still hurts. And not knowing why is agonizing. Have any of you had friends dump you?

So I have a work friend now. We get along famously. We've done TONS of things outside the office. We went to a chili festival last weekend. I've had dinner with her. Lots of happy hours. Should I just not invest (emotionally) myself as much??
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Old 09-15-2008, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 78,836,141 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanttomoveeast View Post
Artsy and Sierra: I know. I mean I know that it was a work thing. Still hurts. And not knowing why is agonizing. Have any of you had friends dump you?
Sure. It's normally a gradual mutual drifting apart.
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Old 09-15-2008, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,732 posts, read 31,711,569 times
Reputation: 6772
I have had the same thing happen. Work environments throw people together who really have little else in common. Once you don't have work in common, it seems that the differences show up more. I worked with a really cool group a while back, we kept in touch for awhile but in time it sort of melted away.

I personally would not take it that it was something so bad against you. Our lives just take us in different directions.
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Old 09-15-2008, 02:08 PM
 
1,651 posts, read 2,753,220 times
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Thats what happened to a mate of mine. He must have felt "cornered" by our business dealings. He made two mistakes: this is'nt normal business and the money is an absolute s**tload. Its not something you walk away from, I've found him and I'm gonna have a nice talk with him. Do I trust him anymore - NO.
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Old 09-15-2008, 02:13 PM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
4,589 posts, read 11,946,417 times
Reputation: 1841
IMO.....I think the word "friend" is over-rated and over-used......what is that saying? You can count the number of true friends you will have in your lifetime on one hand? I have found this to be true, for me at least. My mom, my husband, my daughter and my cousin are my best friends and they are the only people I would even consider calling friends.....sure, I have girls I hang out with on weekends, girls night out type stuff...shopping and whatever. But I've just come to find that friends come and go....some get jealous and leave, some just leave for no reason at all.......bottom line...they're pretty much over-rated IMO.
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