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Old 10-08-2008, 05:43 PM
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 85,094,389 times
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Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
What denomination of Christian are you? Because some Christians are liberal in their beliefs while most are not.
Why the need to "label" this Christian with a particular denomination Arty? Being a Christian and treating people the way a true Christian should is far more important than what church you attend.
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Old 03-20-2009, 02:44 AM
3 posts, read 11,315 times
Reputation: 15
Hi all,

I posted in a different "trans"-related thread a while back, but I will begin by re-introducing myself:

My name's ChloŽ, and I am a pre-operative trans woman. I consider myself to be asexual because I just don't have much of a sex drive, but I'm attracted to both men and women. Most people don't know I'm transexual. I've been hit on by at least two or three straight guys a week. I don't say that to brag (you should see the kind of guys that hit on me; most of them are twice my age), but to show those who are sure they can pick some of us trans gals out as trans that it's not always an "open and closed" case. I've even known and performed with drag queens who had no clue I was transgender. A couple of them acted really catty around me until they found out that I wasn't a natal female. Once they found out, they couldn't believe I was transexual. One of them even said, "Girl, you're a 'tranny'? Well, you're very authentic". Point being that a lot of trans women are so adept at blending in, it's virtually impossible to tell.

The "transgender situation" is actually a medical condition called Gender Identity Disorder, and more commonly "gender dysphoria". It is listed in both the DSM-IV and the ICD-9 as such, and the AMA recently passed a resolution declaring that it is indeed a medical condition.

As for the hierarchy within the GLBT community, I have noticed a pattern over a period of about 10 years - Some masculine gay men look down on effeminate gay men/some effeminate gay men look down on transgender women/some gays and lesbians are under the impression that bisexuals, pansexuals, omnisexuals, and lipstick lesbians don't really exist/some extreme feminist lesbians look down on trans men as traitors to the lesbian community/some extreme feminist lesbians look down on trans women as "not really women"... the last one cracks me up because they use the "WBW" (Women Born Women) clause. The reason it cracks me up is because nobody is "born a woman". All women have to become women. Trans women just have to go a different route than natal females to become women. In my own particular situation, I am fortunate enough to have many gay and lesbian friends who fully accept me as a woman.

And as Artsyguy mentioned, there are movies out there that make transgender people out to be the "bad guy". There are three types of transgender women portrayed in older movies: Villian, seductress, or comic relief. Silence of the Lambs portrayed a "transexual" as a villian. The Crying Game, and Myra Breckenridge portrayed a trans woman as a seductress. To Wong Foo, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and Life According to Garp portrayed trans women as comic relief. It has only been in the past decade that transgender people have been portrayed in a more sensitive light in movies, such as Ma Vie En Rose, Boys Don't Cry, and TransAmerica, and television shows, such as Nip/Tuck, Dirty, Sexy Money, All My Children, and The "L" Word. But to blame your fear of transexuals on Silence of the Lambs is like blaming your fear of swimming on Jaws. There might just be a few "sharks" out there with other serious issues, but for the most part, you'll find that most trans folk are really just normal people trying to blend in with everyone else. And most of us are pretty decent people. The majority of us are not "Hannibal Lechters".

In closing, I would just like to thank a lot of you here on this thread for being civil and sensitive about transgenderism/transexualism. This is one of the most intelligent and knowledgable threads I've read on this topic. I can't claim to speak for the entire trans community, but I'm sure many of my trans sisters and brothers would greatly appreciate the compassion and understanding that you've shown here just as much as I have.

God Bless,
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Old 03-20-2009, 04:26 AM
Location: Connecticut
1,461 posts, read 4,048,953 times
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Default Roommate Transgender

I think you may want to have a conversation with your friend about what you heard about the pending roommate being transgender. She should know what is going on. This is a tough one. On one hand it is deceitful for this pending roommate to not tell your friend of this change he is going through, and on the other he may be one of those people who have felt stuck in the wrong body all these years and be perfectly ok. Either way, your friend should know about him.

I am torn about this issue in general. Part of me feels sorry for these folks who go through this transgender stuff yet another part of me doesn't even want to know about it..sad for them.
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Old 03-20-2009, 04:39 AM
Location: Ohio
2,178 posts, read 7,699,231 times
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Being an old, straight male, who has been married to the same woman forever with no desire to be with anyone else and raised 6 kids, I don't understand gays, transgender, bisexual, or a person wanting to change the plumbing they were born with.
But as long as they are honest and don't try to infringe on my rights of being what I am, or trying to induce me into going somewhere I wont go, I will respect their right to be, or do , what they want.
I might not understand it, and I might have a hard time acccepting it, but I am not the one to judge another persons feelings or preferences as long as they are not harming anyone else or trying to infuence me into living their lifestyle.
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Old 11-23-2010, 10:35 AM
131 posts, read 80,236 times
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Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I would be very very scared and go in my pants if I heard that news.
On October 7, 2008, you were being idiotic when you made this statement.
Most transgender people would rather not have their privacy divulged at all, let alone openly discuss with practically a stranger. I say, live and let live. Before telling anyone, the transgender person needs to be made aware of the fact that someone else is aware of there situation. This will allow the transgender person time to either openly discuss this issue with their roommate, or allow them ample time to leave, without being embarrassed.

When you really think about it, if your not planning on having sex with this person, it really shouldn't bother you about their sexual or gender identity.

So therefore, if I'm a guy and you're my lesbian roommate, how does that affect me?

So therefore, if I'm a guy and you're my effeminate gay roommate who doesn't come on to me, how does that affect me?

So therefore, if I'm a guy and you're my transgender MTF roommate who doesn't come on to me, how does that affect me?

I don't get why all of this different sexual/gender orientation stuff affects people so profoundly. I really think that it's just residual garbage leftover from the Puritans and the bible!


We are our genders first, we then become aware of our genitalia...

Just ask any intersexed or transgender person!
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Old 11-23-2010, 10:53 AM
Location: New England
914 posts, read 1,519,549 times
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Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof! View Post
This is a true scenario.

My good friend is very excited about her new house mate, a lovely soft-spoken woman who recently left her husband.

However, I have just learned through the grapevine that this lovely woman was born a man and is going through a sex change and she/he did not leave her/his husband, but her wife.

How do I tell my friend who is a woman? I'm in shock over the news.
I have two roommates; one is a lesbian and the other is a transgender (female to male). I'm cool with it, I ask questions, they answer. The trans just had top surgery and I was more than happy to change his dressings.

I think people who think otherwise should look at a calender and realize its 2010. It's not like they're aliens. Tell your friend to relax, it doesn't make them any less of a person.
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Old 11-23-2010, 11:00 AM
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Since I was a child I found it distressful when I couldn't tell a male from a female. There was a he/she that rode the bus I took as a pre teen and I'd constantly wonder. I just say this because I think it's something that is just wired in us. Kids aren't bothered by gays if they aren't trained to be, but the first thing I notice about a person is their gender. This must be the root of the weird feeling people get when someone blurs the line of gender. Back to the question. In of itself, it shouldn't affect the living situation. It's just a roommate relationship. But I think she should have been upfront about it from the beginning.
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Old 11-23-2010, 11:12 AM
1,606 posts, read 3,467,498 times
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Well I've only had roommates my freshman and sophmore year. And both were weird loners with eating disorders and peculiar body odors.

But I stuck it out... "I'm accepting" or at least I have the tact not to outright offend someone due to them being different.

So what if the new roommate is a trans gender? I actually just watched a very good British movie about this called "Different for Girls" what's so shocking about it.
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Old 11-23-2010, 12:30 PM
Location: NYC
7,371 posts, read 12,147,792 times
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I never understood the point of getting sexual reassignment surgery, but then again I feel that way about cosmetic surgery too. Some of us are born in packaging that we like, some not... and eventually we all fall apart physically anyway, so you may as well play the hand you are dealt! Otherwise, its surgery, recovery, hormones only to look good for about 10 years then you are middle-aged ugly like everyone else.

That said, not of it has anything to do with whether a person makes a good roommate so it's irrelevant I suppose. As long as a roommate is quiet, respectful and you have similar housekeeping expectations, it doesn't matter if the roommate is a trans.
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Old 07-27-2011, 01:17 PM
1 posts, read 5,740 times
Reputation: 10
Default You make my point

Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof! View Post
My friend is going to feel misled. The transgender person should have been upfront and honest.

Anyhow, I can't get involved in this one. I have enlisted another friend to tell her. I'm going to keep my mouth shut. My true feelings are on this thread.

If God gave you man parts, you should just deal with it. Some things in life, we just have to deal with. I mean if it's difficult, you can always be gay or wear women's clothing. Whatever. But not mutilation.

If a person is born intersex then they should be allowed to be both sexes because that is how God made them.
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