Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Anyone have parents who prefer your sister or brother to you?
My wife's family is that way. Her parents live 400 miles from their children and when they do come to town they always stay at her sisters house and many times do not even bother to tell my wife that they are coming. When they do see each other, the personal and emotional distance is deep but unspoken. They would never be open to explain why they prefer the contact with the one sister over my wife. It was brought up once and the subject was quickly changed by turning the television up really loud.
Is favoritism towards one sister or brother real common in some families?
It was common in mine; my older sister was the favorite; she's now a middle-aged spinster living with our mom; I'm married, with my own family, my own children.
Growing up it was only my mother, my sister, and I. After my mother remarried, I had three step brothers, but they lived with their mother.
Growing up, though, my sister was always favored. I can't say as I blame my parents, though. I was always fighting, got bad grades, always broke the rules, etc. My sister was the A (or A-B) student, was with the drama club, etc. etc. One year she got to go to Paris because her grades were good. Had I gotten a "B" average, I would have gotten to go too, but of course, I was happy I passed all my classes.
Things have since turned around. My sister is mess. She had a failed marriage (I have too, but hers was due to significant personality problems with her), her daughter tried to emancipate from her, she's constantly taxing and draining my mom (emotionally and financially). On the other hand, I went into the Navy, cleaned my "act" up, worked in Intelligence for over 20 years. Retired, have a good job, a good home, a wonderful family. I even provided some financial assistance for my mom (to include letting her live with me for a particularly rough period for over a year). Now, I have my own problems, don't get me wrong. And I know my mom loves my sister, but there's definitely favoritism towards me now... as much as there can be as we live in different states.
My father and his sister have this relationship...she has NEVER been around and has NO sense of responsibility to her family at all. She was gone for 37 years and never came home for holidays or special occasions and my dad is the dutiful son...took care of my grandmother and her home after my grandfather died, took care of her finances, drove her around, etc and all my grandmother ever wanted was my lazy aunt!
And I once thought this was the situation in my family with my brother...he is 6 years younger than I am, he lives overseas and has travelled since he was 22 years old and I am the one who stayed here and takes care of the homestead so to speak. He is the one everyone wants to talk to and everything drops when he is around...
Well, I was in a friends store one day and picked up a book called 'Celebrate Family' and these issues are addressed. The family is broken down by person and by the end you realize everyone's role in the family is just as important as the others they are just different...wish I were more eloquent but it was a great book to put it into perspective.
I don't believe my parents have an over all favorite. In some ways, my brother thinks they favored me but in other ways, I used to think they favored him. I'm youngest and the only girl so my brother thinks I was babied and got away with things he never could have. Which is probably somewhat true but my brother is an academic genius (and not socially awkward at all, he actually pretty charming so the best of both worlds) so I always felt like he was the one they were most proud of and nothing I did could ever live up to what he could do.
So the truth must actually be that there isn't a favorite, we are just different people and our parents know we have our individual flaws as well as strengths.
GREAT question refugee! Can't believe I said that
My father and his sister have this relationship...she has NEVER been around and has NO sense of responsibility to her family at all. She was gone for 37 years and never came home for holidays or special occasions and my dad is the dutiful son...took care of my grandmother and her home after my grandfather died, took care of her finances, drove her around, etc and all my grandmother ever wanted was my lazy aunt!
And I once thought this was the situation in my family with my brother...he is 6 years younger than I am, he lives overseas and has travelled since he was 22 years old and I am the one who stayed here and takes care of the homestead so to speak. He is the one everyone wants to talk to and everything drops when he is around...
Well, I was in a friends store one day and picked up a book called 'Celebrate Family' and these issues are addressed. The family is broken down by person and by the end you realize everyone's role in the family is just as important as the others they are just different...wish I were more eloquent but it was a great book to put it into perspective.
My sentiments exactly (the bolded part). This was actually a well thought out question and not the usual non-sense we see from this poster. Gawd! I feel like Siskel and Ebert now!!!
My parents were always very equal with my brother and I. I know that before I was born, my mom was very worried that she would not be able to love a second child as much as she loved my brother, but I think it really helped a lot that we were different genders. My parents loved us differently (as my brother are as different as it gets), but they loved us the same amount and we never lacked for love.
Now my DH's family is extremely different. We are very close to my MIL (DH's real mother) and she is pretty close with all three of her children (she has her moments with her other son's wife, but usually they are at least civil). However, we live near my FIL and his wife and they can only be friends with one kid at a time. It switches though and no one is always the favorite. As of right now we really aren't talking to them because they forgot both of our birthdays and our anniversary in the past year. It's not that we are not talking to them out of bitterness, but rather, we are just tired of trying to be the adults. We are always contacting them and inviting them over and they are constantly turning us down or not even replying, so we just gave up hope.
Ours isn't on there....I was and still am Daddy's girl. I'm 46 and it's still true. Everybody knows it. Even my Stepmother doesn't say anything about me being Daddy's favorite. I don't use it to my advantage but it's still true.
My younger brother was Mom's favorite up until he got married 12 years ago. He pretty much chose her family (money) over us. She hasn't handled that well. So now I get to be her favorite too. She's more high maintence that Dad is, so that's not such a great blessing.
i think my sister is more liked. she is the good one afterall. i've done alright for myself but she lives in a mansion, has 3 degrees (from DePaul University), has a beautiful baby, etc. Plus she didn't stray from the path very much. I was the party animal who had small run ins with the police for silly things as a teenager (like underage drinking) while she was studying. of course i know my parents love me and all that jazz but how could you not prefer the better kid? lol...just saying that it makes sense. that's all.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
