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Old 10-24-2008, 09:08 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,304,761 times
Reputation: 6957

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What exactly does desperate mean? That is pretty prejudiced if you ask me.

As for the 10 year old boy that is pretty cold blooded of you to make an assumption that he would be rejected and ignored his whole life. If any mature and kind adult or mentor would sit down and teach the kid how to behave, how to dress, and teach the kid social skills and body language skills then you'd see some really positive changes. I find your judgments to be really offensive and rude, because the child maybe is abused, has an untreated mental condition, is neglected, ignored at home, etc. You need to have sensitivity for those that are snubbed and different.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fjtee View Post
Oh, this breaks my heart. It really is true that if you come across as desperate, you don't make friends or get dates or get a job. But, everyone always tells you that in order to get these things, you have to put yourself out there and take risks. Ack!

At the playground today I saw a 10-year-old boy, who is likely to suffer all through life. He was a total misfit and was desperately trying to join in with his brother and his brother's friends. His clothes were dirty, disheveled, his hair was a mess, his facial expressions were really odd, and he just carried himself strangely. The kids weren't mean to him, because his brother was there, but they pretty much ignored him completely. He and his brother were probably only a year apart, so this poor kid is just destined to be a tag-along with his brother and his brother's friends. He'll be there, but never part of the group. Very sad.
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:10 PM
 
1,651 posts, read 2,753,423 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
You need to have sensitivity for those that are snubbed and different
Yeah, people like me.
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:12 PM
Status: "Excited to move to Vegas!" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Beaverton, OR
5,367 posts, read 5,820,264 times
Reputation: 5989
Pshh, whatever Movie Lover, you know you're the shiznit
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:13 PM
 
Location: In a delirium
2,588 posts, read 4,934,382 times
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Whoa! I do have sensitivity. Calling me cold-blooded is harsh. You don't have a clue about what my feelings are and how I bleed for others. Anyway, I felt really bad for the boy. Yes, it was presumptive that I projected that far into his future, but it did come to mind that he was going to have a hard time. I hope he doesn't. You cannot tell me you've not encountered people with little to no social skills. They are oftentimes wonderful people, but lack the ability to connect with others.
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:14 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,304,761 times
Reputation: 6957
Well I thought desperate meant eagerness.

Desperate in the dictionary says something along these lines define: desperate - Google Search

So yes being hopeless is a turn off and I don't usually see hopeless or depressed people as users but more as turn offs or being too negative and raining on my parade type stuff...



Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB View Post
Hmm, well, you really can't get a date if you come across as desperate. Not unless the girl has a pity complex and somehow thinks she's going to fix you, and that usually won't end up well, hehe. Same with a job. It's about acting. You have to be a good enough actor. Even if you're desperate, no, especially if you're desperate, you need to be able to act confident. If I told a client, "Oh this is so great, you're my first client in months! I really need this job!" then he thinks he can walk all over me. But if I am professional and polite, without being overly concerned about the project, it comes across like I'm busier and have lots going on. That's always how you have to act, even if it's not true. You have to put up the idea in people's minds (with business) that you are a very busy person and their project is important to you, but it's not all you have going on. With people, you have to be confident in who you are. Even if you don't have many friends around, you have to be happy with being by yourself first, that's what I learned, so that when you make friends it's a bonus to you, it's not like you NEED them.
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:16 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,304,761 times
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I have wonderful social skills and amazing sense of humor and yet I don't really connect with a ton of people. So there goes that theory.

I seriously hope you do feel for that 10 year old boy. I really hope he finds a mentor and some friends his age that will be able to teach him the norms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fjtee View Post
Whoa! I do have sensitivity. Calling me cold-blooded is harsh. You don't have a clue about what my feelings are and how I bleed for others. Anyway, I felt really bad for the boy. Yes, it was presumptive that I projected that far into his future, but it did come to mind that he was going to have a hard time. I hope he doesn't. You cannot tell me you've not encountered people with little to no social skills. They are oftentimes wonderful people, but lack the ability to connect with others.
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:17 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,304,761 times
Reputation: 6957
Oh, please weren't you the one who said you use your manager as a patsy. That is so mean...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Movie Lover View Post
Yeah, people like me.
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Old 10-24-2008, 11:45 PM
Status: "Excited to move to Vegas!" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Beaverton, OR
5,367 posts, read 5,820,264 times
Reputation: 5989
I agree, artsyguy, having good social skills and having much in common with most people is not the same. In my life I've met Jay Leno, George Bush Sr., numerous congressmen, senators, business owners, etc. and I can be very social, know what to say and what not to say, etc. But most people I meet I just don't have enough in common with to form any sort of real bond. It doesn't mean I dislike them, it just means I don't really have much in common with them and there's no real connection, as you said.
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Old 10-25-2008, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Bay Area
2,406 posts, read 6,961,849 times
Reputation: 1852
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
There is a really funny movie on this topic. I believe I even posted about it at the time I saw it.

Dīner de cons, Le (1998)

That dumb dinner guest turned out to be very warm-hearted, though.
LOL... This is a great movie...hilarious...very fitting for the topic
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Old 10-25-2008, 10:14 AM
 
Location: in purgurtory in London
3,721 posts, read 3,473,981 times
Reputation: 1292
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
You know how there always are some unwanted by the majority people in a social circle. They know it... everybody knows it... What do you think their motivation for staying and intruding is?
My circle in the UK is small in comparison to that in the USA and I can't think of one person who is not respected than the other. That's high school silly psych games that I never got into and wouldn't now. I don't have time for phonies or cruel people nor do the people I choose to associate with.
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