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Most of us have probably had at least one. What did they do to make living next door to them suck?
I had a neighbor who never met a mower she actually liked. The yard would be knee high before she'd have it mowed. I think Jimmy Hoffa was buried in there. I had to mow her lawn myself just so I could sell my house.
I don't mean the occasional woof. I mean the yapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapya pyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyap that goes on at 6 a.m. or at 10 p.m. or even 3 a.m.
We have two different neighbors like that. Both will on occasion, forget to bring in their dogs and then stay out late. One even went on a three day weekend somewhere, leaving the dog to bark nonstop all night long.
I've been nice. I've knocked on their doors and pleasantly asked them to remember to keep their dogs in at night. But one guy is a bona fide idiotic dog lover, the kind who thinks his dogs can do no harm. So after the third trip over to his house, I finally said that the next time would be in the form of a police officer. Things have been frosty ever since.
So shut your damned dogs up already, before I take them out with a high-powered rifle.
I had one in our first home. We lived in a great little planned subdivision with walking paths and tight HOA's and we lived on a lovely little street and all was well with the world...until the house across the street sold...
In the summer and during holidays the mother would lock the door with the children outside and they had to eat all meals outside and use the bathroom in the bushes...
One Christmas their family came into town and I woke up to a pop up camper parked in their yard and the children were charging the other children in the neighborhood 50 cents for tours of the camper. This is where the family members stayed while they visited...
They had some construction going on one summer and the daughter did a faux strip tease for the contractors and a pole dance on the basketball hoop pole ...she was 8...
One morning I woke up to the mother chasing the daughter through the yard and swatting her with a fly swatter...
The mother would let the 10 year old son drive her car up and down the street...
The neighbor to the side of the neighbors from hell had the neighbor and her mother over for lunch and by the time the luncheon was over, the pain meds were missing from her back surgery! We later found out the bad neighbors mother was addicted to pain meds...
When we got married, we moved into this cool brownstone apartment. There were two units per floor.
The other unit on our floor was rented by a gay guy who was incredibly over the top about it all. The guy wore silk robes, played Barbra Streisand all the damned time, and was neurotic beyond all human belief.
Well, my wife and I are considerate people. So imagine our surprise when I found a long note taped to our front door titled "P.M. Courtesy Guidelines." As if the guy was too big a puss to just knock on our door and discuss matters.
I don't remember the entire content, but the guy decreed that we couldn't come up the back steps after 8 p.m., and that we had to take off our shoes after 8:30. Evidently, this guy really liked his beauty sleep.
Well, I made a point of walking around in my apartment in dress shoes after that, and I'd always go up and down the back steps up to 10 p.m. So when he came out in his silk komono and started squealing at me, I told him to shut the hell up.
By the way, we got along with all our other neighbors and the landlord.
I don't mean the occasional woof. I mean the yapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapya pyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyap that goes on at 6 a.m. or at 10 p.m. or even 3 a.m.
We have two different neighbors like that. Both will on occasion, forget to bring in their dogs and then stay out late. One even went on a three day weekend somewhere, leaving the dog to bark nonstop all night long.
I've been nice. I've knocked on their doors and pleasantly asked them to remember to keep their dogs in at night. But one guy is a bona fide idiotic dog lover, the kind who thinks his dogs can do no harm. So after the third trip over to his house, I finally said that the next time would be in the form of a police officer. Things have been frosty ever since.
So shut your damned dogs up already, before I take them out with a high-powered rifle.
The first one I met at the time of her move in. She stated something to the affect of single motherhood. For myself, I do not consider that a label. I do not think of it at all. There are those who play it to the hilt.
I think, ok recently divorced and all. Not my problem.
She asks me about a job opportunity at a bar, and I take her up to a place and she starts hitting people up for drinks. I am mortified. I leave.So, she sets off on this party life and goes to the bars and hits guys up for beers continuously. Tacky, but not my problem.
She is hired for a variety of jobs and is fired from them. She is leaving her children with a neighbor and not coming home to get them at the time she says she will. She isn't paying rent. Not my problem.
At some point last year, she was being investigated by DFCS. Someone must have called anonymously. I had no idea that this had happened. In January, I get off work and stop at a local pub and she is there. She then states that she is being investigated. She is hinting around and I tell her, I don't know anything about it.
Six weeks later, she comes up to my door and says this whole, I'm a single mother and people should be spend more time being helpful then criticizing. She tells me,"You just don't know what its like." I am furious and I keep telling her........I don't care, this is not my problem. I thought long and hard about kicking her right down the stairs. Still, dont know if she is ranting or accusing me. I thought jail would suck, so I did not.
Six weeks later, I find out that she has gone behind my back and told others that she thinks that I am the one that made this call. Including my landlord. I am livid. Then I find out that her reasoning is that she went out with an ex-boyfriend. I did not know this and further, did not care. Her second reason was that she did not know what I did for a living.
I think this over for 24 hours. No. I stew.
I caught her down stairs and went off. I could not believe that even after this amount of time and after speaking with her on several occasions that she would do this.
Oh, I forgot all about this family who lived in the duplex down the street from us. We used to refer to them as the Clampetts because their house was always totally trashed on an otherwise nice and charming street. The father did construction off and on while the mother did nothing all day. And, by that, I mean nothing. Their kids were the same age as ours, but their clothes were always filthy, they were unkempt, and really rude. My wife would find herself actually washing their clothes. We fed them all the time, and the kids ate as if nobody ever fed them anything.
As it turned out, the husband's mother was paying for the house and the utilities. Well, the husband got laid off again, and the wife just had gone around the bend. Then a big windstorm brewed up and caused a pine tree to flatten their minivan. Their power and phone was knocked out, so she came over to borrow our phone. She then proceeded to shreik obscenities at her MIL about the minivan being totaled by a pine tree (As if it were her fault) and how they needed another car.
Well, things went downhill from there. The husband's parents evidently got custody of the children, so they came and took the kids away. She cut her husband with a knife and was taken away by police. The husband got on a bender and trashed the duplex, even to the point of spray painting cusswords on the outside saying, "My Mother's F*cking House!' among other things. For some reason, the wife comes back, and then corners my wife wanting to know if she'd reported her to the police. I had to go outside and threaten to call police on her ass.
Then one morning, they were both gone. Never to be seen again. We heard that the wife had been institutionalized while the husband was told by his parents to never come near his children again. The guy's mother sold the duplex to a friend of mine who proceeded to gut the interior and make it a very cool house. But I walked through it before he got started, and it was the filthiest place I'd ever seen in my life.
Two years ago, in the house immediately behind that one, a mother suffering from severe post-partum depression went outside the day after Christmas and shot her infant and then herself while her husband was working at the hospital. Honest to God, we wondered if there was just something in the water in those two houses. Because the rest of the neighborhood was so peaceful and serene.
Seriously. I don't think dog owners really have a clue how obnoxious their pets really can be.
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