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Old 11-25-2008, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there
18,270 posts, read 20,599,701 times
Reputation: 41060

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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{JeepGirl}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Remember there are a lot of raw feelings right now on all 3 sides and when people are hurting it seems easier to lash out than embrace. Your parents may not have been the best choice but they did adopt & raise you. Attachments are there whether good or bad they are there. Your bio sibs are happy right now that you all have found each other but maybe in the dark of their home there could be (not saying there is) jealous or resentment towards you. You are torn because you felt cast off as an infant so probably grew up thinking it was all your fault when it wasn't. No child is at fault in situations like this, but how that child handles it or responds to it is when accountability for your part comes into to play.

I am not taking sides only offering an outsider's take on your situation see? No matter what your relationship was with your parents it has to hurt for you to denounce the adoption and change your name. I don't think they are handling or responding in an adult manner but they are hurting too in their own way I am sure.

Just remember when developing any relationship we all go through the "honeymoon" phase once it wears off we all have warts we don't like in others. All of us OK? Prayers for you all!
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Old 11-25-2008, 12:49 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,435,427 times
Reputation: 6958
I'm really sorry to hear about that email.

They are just envious and empty people at this point. I hope things get better for you soon. Keep your sense of humor through this

Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118 View Post
Well. It's official as of 5 minutes ago. . . and of course, I ran to you all with it first since I was in the middle of posting to threads when I received the email. . . need to vent and need feedback to turn my frown upside down.

Adopted parents sent me an email reinstating that they want me to denounce the adoption and to mock me, ridicule me, and try to humiliate me.

I'm so hurt - as if they didn't say and do enough to already. I mean, they totally mocked me, ridiculed me, and did so many "LOL's" . . . said things like, here's a quote from the email. . . "go with your new loving family there is no reason to keep my name , since you have a new loving family .ILOL! do your thing and LOSE THE NAME., since im sure they are so loving LOL!!!!! they didnt want you and we dont either. you are just a broken unwanted person face it LOL!! must be a sad life knowing at birth and as a grown up you have to look for people to want you LOL!!!"

No one has ever said anything quite so mean to me. Even they have have outdone their own hatred. I am very upset, not mad, but deeply teary saddened that they would stoop so low. For years, I felt like I was an unwanted reject by my own birthparents and knowing the truth on why I was given up, it does not sting as badly now, but I feel the burn from the yesteryears psychologically from how I once believed that. It was a sensitive spot growing up that is now closing up in the past 2 weeks. What in the hell is wrong with those people? How could anyone say such a thing to another human being? I cannot imagine living with all of that unwarranted festered hate.

I only responded back by saying to please drop off a box of my baby/childhood pictures to one of my Aunts houses. Nothing more. - Those are something that I will have a hard time letting go of that I want my son to have. I do not have that many on me.

I am going to go make my freaking cookies now, need to pull myself together.

Your thoughts? I need them.

(And please, no jokes about it, Artsy.)
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Old 11-25-2008, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Wichita,Kansas
2,731 posts, read 6,075,856 times
Reputation: 1338
I cant believe people are that hateful,sorry Jeepgirl...
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Old 11-25-2008, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,421,672 times
Reputation: 6015
Thank you.

Have my head back together more now. Was just standing there doing my cookies and I said to myself (yes, I talk to myself!), "Self?! Why are you letting something like that bother you?! DUH, consider the source."

As long as I keep on letting them get to me, I am only empowering them and their drama, I figure. Right?

I'm not going to allow them to affect my holiday cheer. It is what it is, and I suppose I was silly for not thinking that they would (as usual) need to get the last word in.

Life is strange. I'm going to go get some stuff at the grocery store for Thanksgiving now. Cooking/baking is great for thinking things through, by the way. Working for me. . .
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Old 11-25-2008, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,570,147 times
Reputation: 39866
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118 View Post
Well. It's official as of 5 minutes ago. . . and of course, I ran to you all with it first since I was in the middle of posting to threads when I received the email. . . need to vent and need feedback to turn my frown upside down.

Adopted parents sent me an email reinstating that they want me to denounce the adoption and to mock me, ridicule me, and try to humiliate me.

I'm so hurt - as if they didn't say and do enough to already. I mean, they totally mocked me, ridiculed me, and did so many "LOL's" . . . said things like, here's a quote from the email. . . "go with your new loving family there is no reason to keep my name , since you have a new loving family .ILOL! do your thing and LOSE THE NAME., since im sure they are so loving LOL!!!!! they didnt want you and we dont either. you are just a broken unwanted person face it LOL!! must be a sad life knowing at birth and as a grown up you have to look for people to want you LOL!!!"

No one has ever said anything quite so mean to me. Even they have have outdone their own hatred. I am very upset, not mad, but deeply teary saddened that they would stoop so low. For years, I felt like I was an unwanted reject by my own birthparents and knowing the truth on why I was given up, it does not sting as badly now, but I feel the burn from the yesteryears psychologically from how I once believed that. It was a sensitive spot growing up that is now closing up in the past 2 weeks. What in the hell is wrong with those people? How could anyone say such a thing to another human being? I cannot imagine living with all of that unwarranted festered hate.

I only responded back by saying to please drop off a box of my baby/childhood pictures to one of my Aunts houses. Nothing more. - Those are something that I will have a hard time letting go of that I want my son to have. I do not have that many on me.

I am going to go make my freaking cookies now, need to pull myself together.

Your thoughts? I need them.

(And please, no jokes about it, Artsy.)

HUGS, Jeepgirl

You didn't deserve that kind of reaction and I'm sorry you got it from the parents who raised you. Is there a chance of some sort of mental disorder or medical condition that would explain this crude, angry behavior?

Just take a few deep breaths and let it go - don't let it pollute you in any way okay?
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Old 11-25-2008, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
2,722 posts, read 4,797,485 times
Reputation: 2216
Try to let them get under your skin.


You are better than that. You know this.


dam, I can't believe how fawked up they are.
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Old 11-25-2008, 03:02 PM
 
Location: NJ
10,723 posts, read 21,370,380 times
Reputation: 8934
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118 View Post
Well. It's official as of 5 minutes ago. . . and of course, I ran to you all with it first since I was in the middle of posting to threads when I received the email. . . need to vent and need feedback to turn my frown upside down.

Adopted parents sent me an email reinstating that they want me to denounce the adoption and to mock me, ridicule me, and try to humiliate me.

I'm so hurt - as if they didn't say and do enough to already. I mean, they totally mocked me, ridiculed me, and did so many "LOL's" . . . said things like, here's a quote from the email. . . "go with your new loving family there is no reason to keep my name , since you have a new loving family .ILOL! do your thing and LOSE THE NAME., since im sure they are so loving LOL!!!!! they didnt want you and we dont either. you are just a broken unwanted person face it LOL!! must be a sad life knowing at birth and as a grown up you have to look for people to want you LOL!!!"

No one has ever said anything quite so mean to me. Even they have have outdone their own hatred. I am very upset, not mad, but deeply teary saddened that they would stoop so low. For years, I felt like I was an unwanted reject by my own birthparents and knowing the truth on why I was given up, it does not sting as badly now, but I feel the burn from the yesteryears psychologically from how I once believed that. It was a sensitive spot growing up that is now closing up in the past 2 weeks. What in the hell is wrong with those people? How could anyone say such a thing to another human being? I cannot imagine living with all of that unwarranted festered hate.

I only responded back by saying to please drop off a box of my baby/childhood pictures to one of my Aunts houses. Nothing more. - Those are something that I will have a hard time letting go of that I want my son to have. I do not have that many on me.

I am going to go make my freaking cookies now, need to pull myself together.

Your thoughts? I need them.

(And please, no jokes about it, Artsy.)
Jeep, I'm sorry they actually hit the send button instead of typing it out and leaving it in the drafts.

As a parent, trying to put myself in their shoes, they've been dealing with you wanting to know where you came from for a long time, they've been pushing you away, slowly until the day that you did find out. Their email is very screwed up, but the mother side of me does understand where the emotions came from. Acting on those emotions with the words they did was very hateful, but in some sick way it gave them closure.

Don't respond to it, if you do be better then them and tell them you're sorry they feel the way they do and that they are choosing to not be part of your or your son's life by their hateful words. I'd tell them that I'm not sure if I could ever forgive them and ask that they never send you anything again. I've moved to get away from my old family & I'm not looking back, you shouldn't right now either. If at some point you feel you can forgive, then cool. Unfortunate for them that eventually they'll get old and need help; by then I hope you're way far from it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxson View Post
Remember there are a lot of raw feelings right now on all 3 sides and when people are hurting it seems easier to lash out than embrace. Your parents may not have been the best choice but they did adopt & raise you. Attachments are there whether good or bad they are there. Your bio sibs are happy right now that you all have found each other but maybe in the dark of their home there could be (not saying there is) jealous or resentment towards you. You are torn because you felt cast off as an infant so probably grew up thinking it was all your fault when it wasn't. No child is at fault in situations like this, but how that child handles it or responds to it is when accountability for your part comes into to play.

I am not taking sides only offering an outsider's take on your situation see? No matter what your relationship was with your parents it has to hurt for you to denounce the adoption and change your name. I don't think they are handling or responding in an adult manner but they are hurting too in their own way I am sure.

Just remember when developing any relationship we all go through the "honeymoon" phase once it wears off we all have warts we don't like in others. All of us OK? Prayers for you all!
This is what I've been thinking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118 View Post
As long as I keep on letting them get to me, I am only empowering them and their drama, I figure. Right?

I'm not going to allow them to affect my holiday cheer. It is what it is, and I suppose I was silly for not thinking that they would (as usual) need to get the last word in.

Life is strange. I'm going to go get some stuff at the grocery store for Thanksgiving now. Cooking/baking is great for thinking things through, by the way. Working for me. . .
Yes, baking is wonderful isn't it? lol

Push them as far as you can from your mind and celebrate a new beginning.
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Old 11-25-2008, 03:16 PM
 
Location: in purgurtory in London
3,721 posts, read 3,493,401 times
Reputation: 1292
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxson View Post
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{JeepGirl}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Remember there are a lot of raw feelings right now on all 3 sides and when people are hurting it seems easier to lash out than embrace. Your parents may not have been the best choice but they did adopt & raise you. Attachments are there whether good or bad they are there. Your bio sibs are happy right now that you all have found each other but maybe in the dark of their home there could be (not saying there is) jealous or resentment towards you. You are torn because you felt cast off as an infant so probably grew up thinking it was all your fault when it wasn't. No child is at fault in situations like this, but how that child handles it or responds to it is when accountability for your part comes into to play.

I am not taking sides only offering an outsider's take on your situation see? No matter what your relationship was with your parents it has to hurt for you to denounce the adoption and change your name. I don't think they are handling or responding in an adult manner but they are hurting too in their own way I am sure.

Just remember when developing any relationship we all go through the "honeymoon" phase once it wears off we all have warts we don't like in others. All of us OK? Prayers for you all!
You listening Jeepgirl? Jaxon is bang on the spot.
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Old 11-25-2008, 03:28 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,744,570 times
Reputation: 7409
This is one of the most ugly things I can imagine anyone doing and I am so sorry...they must be truly sick people.

I am so sorry, Jeep.
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Old 11-25-2008, 03:30 PM
 
61 posts, read 140,252 times
Reputation: 20
Congradulations!!!!!!!!
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