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Old 11-30-2008, 07:25 PM
 
Location: California
598 posts, read 1,871,909 times
Reputation: 447

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So, I have this friend that I'm having problems with.

This girl has two personalities. The first is probably incredibly insecure, and her "true" self. I think I've only "met" that girl a couple of times.

The second is an adolescent, thin, blond mean girl. She is gossipy, manipulative, self-centered, dramatic, and loves to be the center of attention. She puts on this persona and basically, I. can. not. stand. it. She is mean to the waiters. She is always digging for information and then tells everyone about it. She wants to go out and been seen. She forces her way into invitations to social situations. And she actually acts like characters she sees on TV.

As a result, and I'm not proud of this, I was mean to her recently. I just get so frustrated. And I think I hurt her feelings.

I guess I should say too that this girl is, well, not very attractive. At all.

So my question is....do I apologize?

Has anyone else known someone like this who essentially adopted another personality?

Is there any way I can tell this woman to freaking cut it out and be herself (and that I hate her persona anyway)?

Or do I just suck it up and be friends with her because I feel sorry for her?
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Old 11-30-2008, 07:28 PM
 
12,050 posts, read 11,093,519 times
Reputation: 9999
Just quit calling and hanging out as much. Taper off contact until the relationship dies of natural causes.
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Old 11-30-2008, 07:33 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,273,741 times
Reputation: 6957
Why are you friends in the first place? Is she ever really nice and generous and fun or funny?
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Old 11-30-2008, 07:42 PM
 
Location: California
598 posts, read 1,871,909 times
Reputation: 447
Well, first, she's sort of in my group of friends and is close with another friend of mine (who always invites her).

Second, I just feel bad for her.
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Old 11-30-2008, 07:47 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,130 posts, read 39,671,631 times
Reputation: 41571
She sounds like a sad sack.
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Old 11-30-2008, 08:24 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,398 posts, read 7,121,737 times
Reputation: 2834
Flat be honest with her. It'll get it off your chest, give her something to think about, and might be beneficial to her in the long run to have someone be brutally honest with her.

Either way, how can you lose?
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Old 11-30-2008, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,386 posts, read 17,280,354 times
Reputation: 14010
I think it goes something like this:
"I want to apologize for (whatever you did). I'm sorry, and I shouldn't have said/done it. I think I also should explain what led me to say/do it." Then explain away.

She'll either accept your comments, change her attitude, and you'll become closer friends (not likely), or she'll be hurt even more and blow you off. But at least you will have told her, and someday, maybe years from now, she might remember what you said and realize you were right.
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Old 11-30-2008, 08:44 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,273,741 times
Reputation: 6957
lame.

Quote:
Originally Posted by itlchick View Post
Well, first, she's sort of in my group of friends and is close with another friend of mine (who always invites her).

Second, I just feel bad for her.
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Old 11-30-2008, 08:48 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,661,956 times
Reputation: 7404
She sounds like a lunatic and why would you want to be associated with someone like that? Someone like that is not someone you want to be linked with.
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Old 11-30-2008, 08:50 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,273,741 times
Reputation: 6957
I'm sorry but more than half of the people I know act like that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
She sounds like a lunatic and why would you want to be associated with someone like that? Someone like that is not someone you want to be linked with.
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