Have you ever broken off from family member? (talks, children, holidays)

[Mrs.Bewitched]

I broke off with my brother and haven't spoken to him since....1998 or 1999. Long story.

[UW Badgers]

My husband hasn't spoken to his parents in over 4 years. He broke off things once before back in 1994, but in 1997 they "made up."

His mother has issues(nothing mentally really), just so materialistic. Hubby's brother is a physical therapist. He went to college, so he is the end all of be all. It was rather sickening to watch really.

Hubby was a driver for a company and apparently that wasn't good enough to ever have a discussion about. I worked with kids and she once said that "if the child isn't part of my family, then I don't really need to hear about it." So I took that as a no interest in what I do.

My husband is now in Operations Manager for the company in which he was promoted for when they opened up another warehouse in another state. She never once asked him through the interviews or test he took how it went. Apparently we weren't in the league of his brother.

Hubby has been with the company for 15 years(in February), been promoted, put a roof over our heads, allows me to be able to work in our house, but that by all means isn't successful. Whatever.

I remember his grandma telling his brother and then fiancee how rich they were going to be when he graduated and how successful they were together. She is a pharmacist. I was floored. His mother never said anything like mentioning that my husband was successful too, just not "rich" because as we all know, that is most important in life. I did call his mom that night when we got home ane let her have it. I was furious. My attitude was quite different after that.

We are better off without them honestly.

[gizmobizmo]

When you say dysfunctional, you are probably referring to my family.

There are so many scandals that certain members of my clan could keep Jerry Springer in material for months.

When I was coming up, I actually thought all the drama and scandalous behavior was normal. My family would never in their wildest imagination qualify for a Normal Rockwell moment.

Anyhow, in my late teens, I finally realized that certain folks in my family were either socially stunted or had a break from reality. I just couldn't take the never-ending drama and distanced myself from an elder brother and his kids. My parents were NOT happy with me. No amount of explaining could get them to realize that their son had serious problems and that he was toxic to everyone around him. To a point, I became the outcast. If I wanted to spend time with my parents, I had to force myself to see my brother and I always left those encounters feeling as if I needed to wash the filth off.

It took my dad 15 years to finally admit to me that his son WAS a loser who dragged everyone down and that his kids were just like him. My mom still maintains that I am too judgemental and harsh towards him and his kids. The whole mess makes me want throw up.

I keep my distance and plan visits in the hopes that I don't see these people or hear about them. It upsets me to no end to realize how this jerk has impacted MY relationship with my parents.

[lola8822]

Might sound minuscule but I did pretty much write off my cousin, who was actually more like my sister/best friend. Sad, but sometimes it becomes shockingly apparent that you are putting more into the relationship than they ever will. That, for me, is when I know it’s time to just let it go…..I refuse to waste my time. She has my number if she needs me but otherwise….I am done and surprisingly okay with it.

[Woof Woof Woof!]

Originally Posted by gizmobizmo

I keep my distance and plan visits in the hopes that I don't see these people or hear about them. It upsets me to no end to realize how this jerk has impacted MY relationship with my parents.

Sounds like your parents are the enablers, and they've created this monster.

[At1WithNature]

na, family is family. i let bygones be bygones. one thing is though it seems as people get old they become more inflexible and bitter attitudes build between two people, often relatives by blood at that, over trivial matters. i'm for the greater good. i stand alone. i am a leader. i don't have time for child's play. because at the end of the day, that's what it is. it's like as people age, they become more unraveled by the year. compare yourself today to as you were as a child. are you more friendly now? are you more polite? do you always say thank you and you're welcome? i think it's a real crime how people get stuck in their ways and fail to rise above the strife or "be the bigger person" for the sake of the greater good but it is what it is.

[gizmobizmo]

Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof!

Sounds like your parents are the enablers, and they've created this monster.

You are right.

I've had that discussion with them many times but for many years, neither wanted to admit that they had a son who was morally bankrupt. My dad finally admitted that his son was a lost cause but only after nearly 2 decades of secretly hoping for change.
My mother refuses to acknowledge that her son has issues. I believe that for her, it would be like admitting that she a bad mother.

[At1WithNature]

of course there are always exceptions to the rule. i am still young and have not had many of the run ins that i know other people have had later in their lives. time will tell what course my family and i take but so far so good.

[Woof Woof Woof!]

Originally Posted by gizmobizmo

You are right.

I've had that discussion with them many times but for many years, neither wanted to admit that they had a son who was morally bankrupt. My dad finally admitted that his son was a lost cause but only after nearly 2 decades of secretly hoping for change.
My mother refuses to acknowledge that her son has issues. I believe that for her, it would be like admitting that she a bad mother.

What is it with people and denial? I don't get it.

It's like, I refuse to see or acknowledge this, and I need you to play along with the game. No thanks. My life is too short.

But when you speak the truth, then you are the one accused of poisoning the family. Poisoning them with what? The truth?

[Huckleberry3911948]

i got tired of accepting invitations to my brothers which consisted of me driving 500 miles, changing dirty diapers, cleaning the house, fixing christmas dinner and then driving home again while the wife disappeared for the weekend for respite from the kids.