Have you ever broken off from family member? (dysfunctional, cousins, Christmas)

[SouthHillsHappy]

i stopped speaking to my dad when he failed to tell me my son was in jail & i was worried sick because i couldnt get ahold of him for weeks and he knew it all along! ever since my kids were born hes tried to take over parenting them.

[Jrsygrl51]

I cut off my older sister after years of putting up with her selfish, vindictive behaivor. This just got worse because I found out some very disturbing information from my younger sister and my daughter involving abuse surrounding the older one's husband. As far as I am concerned, she no longer exsists.

[MsAnnThrope]

Yes.

I had a difficult relationship with my mother that I tried to maintain all my adult life until it became obvious she was intending to inflict her behaviour on my first baby. I was 27. I cut her off completely at that stage. My dad was dead by then but we always got on fine although a bit distant. He at least meant well. She did not.

One brother (I have 2) is a religious fanatic and cut me out (I'm going to hell) about 28 years ago, which is fine. The other brother and I are fine but not in each other's pockets, she used to cause problems but once I cut her influence out we got on fine.

You can't choose your relatives...my relationship with my mother was very painful and she's still alive, I sometimes wonder if I'll regret it when she dies but honestly to me the "dream" mother died years and years ago, so I doubt it. I'm incredibly glad I spared her influence on my kids.

[imcurious]

Originally Posted by mrstewart

I have had not seen my mother in 5 years because she has borderline personality disorder and the turmoil was never ending. Cutting off was not a conscious decision like I had tried before.

One day I did not call her and another day went by and another. She called me and I told her I would return the call and I forgot. Finally a month went by and my husband asked if I had spoken to her and I surprised myself by saying "no".

I had cut off ties with her before but always had a nagging feeling about it but when it just fell into my lap it did not feel the same. There was no guilt involved. It felt right. It was very easy.

Fast forward 5 years, my mother has missed 2 of my children being born, we have moved, life has happened and recently I find myself missing her...well, maybe not her, but the dream I had of a mother that she can not fulfill.

It is harder now than it was 5 years ago.

Please call your mother and arrange for her to see her grandchildren. You don't have to be best friends - be civil - have a meal together, visit, then Sykpe . . . it's not too much to ask. Don't only think of yourself - think how YOU would feel if your kids cut you out of their lives.

[leftmyheartintennessee]

I am one of three children
oldest brother is 13 years older than me. have lost touch with him over the years, and wonder
where he is and if he's still alive...did communicate with him for a while after my
parents died, but it was few and far between with letters...
younger brother, have not spoken to or written to since my dad died in 1999...he has his life/family and I have
mine...we have nothing in common other than the same parents...didn't get along with him even
when we were kids growing up, always fought with each other...just don't see a need to connect with family...
we're grown with lives of our own, different ways of looking at things...
even my daughter and I don't talk to each other on a regular basis...she has her life, I have mine...there are no
issues between us... that I know of, and when we do talk it's as two adults communicating...
we're okay with that...

[Creature of the Wheel]

Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof!

This is for those of you who have had difficult families.

Have you ever broken with parents? Or written off a sibling?

If so, please tell me why? What brought you to that point? Was it a difficult decision and how to you feel about it now?

Thanks,

Woofers

P.S. Please be respectful of my thread and stay on topic. Thanks!

I've written off a dozen relatives due to all the drama, crap talking, and baseless rumors they were spreading about me. They were also talking lots of crap about my father, which by the way is an uncle to many of them. My father is also the youngest brother to one of those uncles I've written off. I was also used as a scapegoat for several things that caused some major blowups within the family. When a finger is pointed at me, everybody goes, "yeah, ______ did it! I could see him doing something like that!" They don't need to prove I did anything. All they have to do is say it. There's nothing I can say to convince them otherwise.

I don't regret writing off those sorry sacks of dog crap. To me, they're people with the same last name as I. I don't care if they die in a plane crash. I don't care if one or all of them becomes gravely ill. I just don't give two rips about them, period. They're the kind of "people" who'll sell their own family to slavers if the price is right. They certainly have no problem backstabbing one another at any given time.

I ended up learning through a drunk cousin of mine that they have also been pulling a "Joe Paterno" concerning one of their now adult nieces. That family is rotten at the core.

My life has been free of drama and bullcrap since I've disconnected myself from their toxicity. I don't want them, and I don't need them in my life. As far as I'm concerned, they're dead to me.

[rayneinspain]

Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof!

This is for those of you who have had difficult families.

Have you ever broken with parents? Or written off a sibling?

If so, please tell me why? What brought you to that point? Was it a difficult decision and how to you feel about it now?

Thanks,

Woofers

P.S. Please be respectful of my thread and stay on topic. Thanks!

Yes I have.

Had an on/off relationship with my mother since meeting her at age 18. First two times were due to her drug use. Thinking she was sober (and relatively sane), reconnected just prior to my daughter's birth 19 years ago.

Events occurring while my daughter went back to visit her resulted in my mother's true colors finally emerging...she verbally abused, intimidated, and threatened my daughter. Destroyed her belongings. Police won't do anything "because she's only 4 foot 11" and "couldn't hurt a bird". Note--she comes home on Tuesday, so this is very, very recent.

She's likely a Malignant Narcissist. Possibly antisocial/psychopathic. Definitely Borderline.

We, my daughter and I, were the last of her family to stick with her. We join the other three children in estrangement.

But her friends (who she always valued more than family) have done what we expected, closing ranks around her. I think they're too afraid to stand up to her.

Meanwhile, she is free to financially defraud her 91-year-old mother and continue to hurl verbal abuse at her. APS refuses to consider that my mother is adept at acting in order to get what she wants and escape detection.

Daughter and I will be starting counseling in the next week or so. This has been extremely difficult to cope with and comprehend.

[farmerwannabe]

Yes.

I haven't read all 8 pages so if you have answered this please excuse me asking again....WHY do you ask this question?

And is it me or a lot of these post related to mental illness?

[rayneinspain]

Originally Posted by farmerwannabe

Yes.

I haven't read all 8 pages so if you have answered this please excuse me asking again....WHY do you ask this question?

And is it me or a lot of these post related to mental illness?

I have to agree with you...it certainly seems to be a common denominator for many stories in this thread.

For my family, it was a deal-breaker, mostly due to the abuse and violence aspect. I have nothing against someone with anxiety or panic, even simple depression. But when any mental illness manifests with cruelty or danger, I'm out. I have a family (and self) to protect.

[xism]

I disowned my sisters, I havent spoken to either one of them in almost 8 years, and im only 26. My family says im going to regret it when im older but I doubt it.