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Old 12-07-2008, 11:58 AM
 
783 posts, read 2,352,709 times
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It worth going 4 the sake of Grandma.
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Old 12-07-2008, 12:03 PM
 
4,541 posts, read 13,094,709 times
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Go visit grandmother prior to Christmas or after Christmas. Apologize and make a viable excuse for not being there.

Christmas is to be a good experience. These are YOUR memories. It is YOUR life.

There is nothing you can do about the other people but you can choose to make YOUR family's Christmas a happy time.
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Old 12-07-2008, 12:21 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,682,303 times
Reputation: 7404
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
I`m sorry to hear that. Terrible, isn`t it?
Sometimes, its just not worth the hastle, but when it makes a grandma happy to see her family together, once a year...sure would be nice to go just to see the look on her face, and I`m sure that she can sense the negativity, but yeah...in cetain circumstances, its not worth it!
It is nice if the grandma is nice
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Old 12-07-2008, 12:24 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 22,540,496 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
It is nice if the grandma is nice
For sure!!
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Old 12-07-2008, 01:03 PM
 
370 posts, read 911,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by political genius View Post
Fair advice but Grandma lives to see her entire family together and she is slipping so does not see the forced smiles, constant looking at watches, one word replies, rolling eyes, and anger in the everyone's faces for having to be together with people they dislike and have nothing in common. If one of us tried to get out of the family event, Grandma would be very sad. Visiting her alone would not do the trick in her eye.

Anyone else have a dysfunctional family Christmas?
It is not your job to make Grandma happy. Going to see her before hand is fine. She is an adult after all and not a little baby plus she had most of her life which is more than you've had and you and yours should not spend it in misery. You say she is slipping and near the end. Well you really never know as she may outlive you like if you got in an accident tomorrow or something. No one knows how much time we have and our time is too precious to waste the holidays (which are suppose to be a time of peace and joy) with toxic people.
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Old 12-07-2008, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Ocean Shores, WA
5,081 posts, read 12,937,458 times
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Anyone dreading Christmas because the family is so cold and distant?

My family lives in Arizona, so I doubt that they are Cold.
The fact that Arizona is very Distant from me is one of the things I am thankful for.
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Old 12-08-2008, 07:31 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
30,635 posts, read 49,287,779 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by political genius View Post
Due to social and family pressures, my Wife and I we are getting together with her family again this year. Her large dysfunctional family is cold and cruel to each other. Incredibly cold and distant! Most of the time is spent watching television, fighting and ridiculing anything someone has the courage to say to break up the terrible silence.

The only reason we get together is my Wife's Grandmother who is to far gone to see that everyone dislikes each other and loves seeing her large extended family be all together and loving each others company. If it was not for Grandma, we would likely tear each others hair out!

Are there other distant, cold and dysfunctional families out there that get together only for the enjoyment of an older family members fantasy?

With Christmas coming up, this would be a great time to discuss cold distant families making nice on the Holiday.
Spend the day before with your grandmother. Take her out to a restaurant without the rest of the family. Spend quality time with her.

When asked about 'the day', say that your volunteering to work in a kitchen to feed the homeless.

Your grandmother will love you, and the story among your family will be something they can not top.
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Old 12-08-2008, 07:47 AM
 
25,665 posts, read 24,259,697 times
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We arent dreading it for that reason, but because some family members live so far away.
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Old 12-09-2008, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,584 posts, read 31,704,881 times
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I hate it here is why. Out of the Blue wife is moving out and lawyering up and wants a divorce.
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Old 12-09-2008, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
21,730 posts, read 21,615,188 times
Reputation: 21385
Not me. I look forward to seeing my family at Christmas.
Of course, I dont have to spend anytime with the inlaws anymore, so Christmas is that much better!

Sorry for you rjl, my dh filed out of the blue in April, but its the best thing for me. Christmas is more relaxed and I am much happier. I hope you can somehow make the best of the situation.
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