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Old 12-07-2008, 05:35 AM
 
90 posts, read 285,656 times
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Due to social and family pressures, my Wife and I we are getting together with her family again this year. Her large dysfunctional family is cold and cruel to each other. Incredibly cold and distant! Most of the time is spent watching television, fighting and ridiculing anything someone has the courage to say to break up the terrible silence.

The only reason we get together is my Wife's Grandmother who is to far gone to see that everyone dislikes each other and loves seeing her large extended family be all together and loving each others company. If it was not for Grandma, we would likely tear each others hair out!

Are there other distant, cold and dysfunctional families out there that get together only for the enjoyment of an older family members fantasy?

With Christmas coming up, this would be a great time to discuss cold distant families making nice on the Holiday.

Last edited by political genius; 12-07-2008 at 05:49 AM..
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Old 12-07-2008, 05:45 AM
 
370 posts, read 884,620 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by political genius View Post
Due to social and family pressures my Wife and I we are getting together with her family again this year. Her large dysfunctional family is cold and cruel to each other. Incredibly cold and distant! Most of the time is spent watching television, fighting and ridiculing anything someone has the courage to say to break up the terrible silence.

The only reason we get together is my Wife's Grandmother who is to far gone to see that everyone dislikes each other and loves seeing her large extended family be all together and loving each others company. If it was not for Grandma, we would likely tear each others hair out!

Are there other distant, cold and dysfunctional families out there that get together only for the enjoyment of an older family members fantasy?

With Christmas coming up, this would be a great time to discuss cold distant families making nice on the Holiday.
Do not go to the gathering. Go see the Grandmother alone before hand and she will be fine. It is not worth participating in my opinion. Have your own private gathering.
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Old 12-07-2008, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Incognito
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No sir, not me. I love being away from everything.
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Old 12-07-2008, 09:44 AM
 
7,139 posts, read 12,890,687 times
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Originally Posted by runrgirl View Post
Do not go to the gathering. Go see the Grandmother alone before hand and she will be fine. It is not worth participating in my opinion. Have your own private gathering.


I agree, start sending the message that you intend to keep the holiday in the true spirit of peace and goodwill. Maybe you can invite some likeminded family members or friends over so you can be in control of the atmosphere. See Grandma ahead of time, give her hugs and gifts, and leave the others to their own devices.
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Old 12-07-2008, 10:34 AM
 
90 posts, read 285,656 times
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Fair advice but Grandma lives to see her entire family together and she is slipping so does not see the forced smiles, constant looking at watches, one word replies, rolling eyes, and anger in the everyone's faces for having to be together with people they dislike and have nothing in common. If one of us tried to get out of the family event, Grandma would be very sad. Visiting her alone would not do the trick in her eye.

Anyone else have a dysfunctional family Christmas?
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Old 12-07-2008, 10:37 AM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,205,335 times
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My husbands family is very dysfunctional and we are not going to Christmas this year...why bother? We would never let anyone else treat us this way so why would we let our family do it??
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Old 12-07-2008, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
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Ya` know..this is so childish. I`m assuming that we are talking about grown adults here.
Its sad to think that the family cannot try to tolerate each other for a few hours, for Grandmas sake. But > these kind of families are out there.
Selfish. Could you plan something fun like exchange gag gifts or something? That might take time away from the bickering, and snarling.
Just a thought.
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Old 12-07-2008, 10:47 AM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,205,335 times
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Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Ya` know..this is so childish. I`m assuming that we are talking about grown adults here.
Its sad to think that the family cannot try to tolerate each other for a few hours, for Grandmas sake. But > these kind of families are out there.
Selfish. Could you plan something fun like exchange gag gifts or something? That might take time away from the bickering, and snarling.
Just a thought.
I couldn't agree more but in reality these things happen. We have an issue that is very long and drawn out but we have dealt with so much for so long my kids start getting sick to their stomachs 4-5 days before we see my husbands family...they are recovering about a week after...it is just horrible and not worth it...And, my MIL is the antagonist...
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Old 12-07-2008, 10:49 AM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,306,817 times
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Is this your wonderful family? Be honest. I promise not to judge you too severely

http://www.familycourtchronicles.com...ams-family.jpg
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Old 12-07-2008, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 21,978,457 times
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Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
I couldn't agree more but in reality these things happen. We have an issue that is very long and drawn out but we have dealt with so much for so long my kids start getting sick to their stomachs 4-5 days before we see my husbands family...they are recovering about a week after...it is just horrible and not worth it...And, my MIL is the antagonist...
I`m sorry to hear that. Terrible, isn`t it?
Sometimes, its just not worth the hastle, but when it makes a grandma happy to see her family together, once a year...sure would be nice to go just to see the look on her face, and I`m sure that she can sense the negativity, but yeah...in cetain circumstances, its not worth it!
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