U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-23-2008, 09:33 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 28,510,728 times
Reputation: 8778

Advertisements

I was thinking about how people I've known over the years have changed. The reality is that they haven't. I went to my 20 year high school reunion, never to go to one again. People were the same, cliques included, though 20 years older.

I've heard it said that 90% of your personality, traits and even self-esteem are sort of "locked in" by the time one finishes high school, so that would be 18 years old. Personally, I think I've changed more than most other people because I undertook more things (career and education changes) and moved to new places that challenged my "comfort zone."

So, do you think MOST people change? My "vote" is NO.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-23-2008, 09:36 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,682,303 times
Reputation: 7404
Ooooh, great thread and one of my favorite topics...

No, I do not believe people change. I believe people are born with, what I like to call their "toolbox", and through experience, age and necessity they will HOPEFULLY learn to use the tools in productive ways.

Learning to use the tools would be the "change" that we occasionally see in someone but actually the person is the same, just fine tuned...

Just my opinion...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2008, 09:40 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,237 posts, read 15,409,294 times
Reputation: 8098
I think it depends on what kinds of changes you're expecting and/or seeing. High school reunions bring out the worst in people. I only went to my 10-year reunion, and that was enough. I had enough of being snubbed when I was actually sixteen; why pay $85 to go relive the experience?

People's experiences shape who they are, and since we go on having experiences up until the day we die, then I'd say people are always changing. Even if your basic personality doesn't change, the way you react to situations and other people may be quite different over time.

Challenging your comfort zone always results in faster changes. Kudos to you for choosing to do that! It's not easy. You must be someone who embraces change, unlike others like me, who have to be dragged into it while kicking and screaming the whole way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2008, 09:41 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,316,346 times
Reputation: 6957
no
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2008, 09:41 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,491 posts, read 74,394,948 times
Reputation: 47887
they would have to. i am the sum total of my experience.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2008, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
8,998 posts, read 13,075,380 times
Reputation: 3536
Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
I think it depends on what kinds of changes you're expecting and/or seeing. High school reunions bring out the worst in people. I only went to my 10-year reunion, and that was enough. I had enough of being snubbed when I was actually sixteen; why pay $85 to go relive the experience?

People's experiences shape who they are, and since we go on having experiences up until the day we die, then I'd say people are always changing. Even if your basic personality doesn't change, the way you react to situations and other people may be quite different over time.
::nods::

I think I'm always changing and I feel like the more experiences I have (travel, education, friendships,etc), the more I can possibly change.
I'm not saying I WILL change but...it's always possible.

I think there will always be a class of people who hardly change but then there are others who will be open to change in their life.
Of course it all depends on what aspects you're looking at: personality, behavior, physical characteristics, etc.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2008, 10:07 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 12,628,354 times
Reputation: 5461
Default Change is perpetual.

Yes, I have changed, my life now is worlds apart than when I was in my 20s, and I am a better person than I used to be 20 years ago. Aging, raising a family, having more responsibilities has a lot to do with it. My personality is completely different than when I was in high school, most would not even recognize me if they spoke with me.

Like some have said, I've educated myself, travelled the world, have a successful career, those were also some of the dynamics. Interestingly enough, I think those people who lived their whole lives within a 25 mile radius of where they were born appear to be the ones who don't change.

When I went to my high school reunion, the majority, I'd say 70% or more of the people never left the town, and they are the ones who have not changed. The conversations I had with them, and those who had travelled and lived elsewhere were so different. So again, yes, people do change. Change never ends.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2008, 10:26 PM
 
Location: USA
8 posts, read 12,857 times
Reputation: 10
Default Yes They do once they get a hard kick

Sometime it takes life changing events like ill health of a family member or a loss of a loved one to someone else or to something else
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2008, 10:31 PM
 
Location: somewhere south of Canada
2,161 posts, read 3,858,411 times
Reputation: 2572
Quote:
Originally Posted by HookTheBrotherUp View Post
Yes, I have changed, my life now is worlds apart than when I was in my 20s, and I am a better person than I used to be 20 years ago. Aging, raising a family, having more responsibilities has a lot to do with it. My personality is completely different than when I was in high school, most would not even recognize me if they spoke with me.

Like some have said, I've educated myself, travelled the world, have a successful career, those were also some of the dynamics. Interestingly enough, I think those people who lived their whole lives within a 25 mile radius of where they were born appear to be the ones who don't change.

When I went to my high school reunion, the majority, I'd say 70% or more of the people never left the town, and they are the ones who have not changed. The conversations I had with them, and those who had travelled and lived elsewhere were so different. So again, yes, people do change. Change never ends.
This is a good post and I agree.

I have changed tremendously over the years. Moving, meeting new people, traveling to different parts of the world, falling in love, getting my heart broken, advancing in my career, figuring out what's really important to me in life, so many things have contributed to making me who I am today and I am nowhere near the awkward shy person I was in high school (ugh). Most of the people who showed up to the reunion still lived in the same town and I still had nothing in common with them. However, the others like me, who moved away, went to college, and learned that there is life outside Northern Nevada, were the most fun to talk to.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2008, 10:33 PM
 
Location: Alaska
38 posts, read 134,500 times
Reputation: 26
I agree with all that Hookthebrotherup said. I too have changed so much in the last 20 years. All for the better. Thanks....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:46 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top