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In may 2008 I graduated with my bachelors in Science of Nursing. Did my family come? NO. I am the only kid to graduate from College. My mom made my graduation about here and demanded that my boyfriend and I ride there with her. We had plans afterward, it was 4 hours away, and it was the first time we had a chance to spend togethor since the baby was born in March. She ended up comming but didnt tell me that she was nor did she make her presence known in any way. My dad and I have always had a strained relationship but they always were interested in seeing us. So then we are at Christmas time. We all moved one state away to get a fresh start. I hadent talked to my mom since the graduation, she sent me a ****ty letter. Had my brother call and say how hurt she was that I hadent called her. And then had her husband call and ***** me out. All of which my boyfriend got on the phone and told them what he thinks of them and how he was not going to tolerate them talking to me like that. I send them an email telling them that my 10 year old would be in Michigan for christmas and if they want to see him let me know on the time and whatnot. My mom made arrangements to see him. No response from dear ol dad. So no chirstmas cards in the mail, no presents for the baby, and no acknowledgement from my Dad about christmas and that we are a part of that family. I want to just have some closure about the way they treat me and write them a letter of anger and hatred. I cant believe that my family did not want to see my oldest this season. what a bunch of *******s. My mom couldnt even get my baby a present. what a *****. i am so annoyed with them. I just want to end this cycle of hurt that they give me.
I have heard..that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I think your silence would be alot better than an angry, hatred letter.
Let some time pass. Not that this will go away on its own, but time could hopefully help ease the blow. It may give them time to think about the situation as well. Be the adult here.
They could have behaved better, but you don't get to choose your parents, you have to play the hand you are dealt. Since you're no longer their legal dependent, you have no further obligations to each-other, all your interactions should be voluntary and mutually-beneficial.
There's nothing wrong with choosing not to see them some or all of the time. You're an adult now - create whatever family boundaries you want. I find that it's helpful to lower your (and their) expectations for how happy you can make each-other. You don't owe each-other happiness. If you have mutually-beneficial reasons to see them, then do; if not, then don't.
There is a thread with people talking about cutting their families because that was the only real solution.
You are not the only one living these things. Be strong, don't let other people trash you and be thankful your bf supports you. And maybe it's time to let them go, or at least to take a good break. You have kids and they can be affected too.
If you have no effect on how they treat you now, it isn't likely that a hateful/angry letter is going to change that. It would probably be more painful for you re-live all the reasons you are so angry on paper as they may just see it as more reason to continue treating you poorly and you will have accomplished nothing. Silence can be deafening. You can get the message across loud and clear by not saying anything at all and moving forward, if you are ready to do that.
I heard someone say once that staying angry at someone is like drinking poison and hoping it kills your enemy....when the only person hurting is you. I'm now 50 and know people my age who have lost one of their parents with so many words left unsaid and so much love not shared. This is the only family you have...so take the high road....forgive them....and try to repair the broken relationships. You can't fix the past.....but you sure can open the door for a better future for everyone concerned, especially your own kids who will want to know your family. I sure do wish you the best of luck and love.
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is there an eco on here?
