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Old 01-31-2009, 09:09 AM
 
67 posts, read 158,520 times
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A 91 year old mother in California is suffering from severe dementia and her situation is deteriorating rapidly as we speak. She has turned from a decent, beautiful and clean lady to a filthy, smelly, unkempt woman with sores on her body. She lives alone in a condo. She needs 24/7 care in a facility immediately but in that case, the state is going to take over all her assets. Her son who is more worried about losing his inheritance, is busy with attorneys trying to protect her assets for himself. It's been three months and it seems that it will be some more months before his paperwork is done, and she will eventually be sent to a facility by his son. The problem is she might not be alive by then. She is considered a danger to herself by her doctor and he recommended her to be in a facility as soon as possible. She had lived a good life, been a good mother and grandmother, and shown nothing but kindness and sweetness to everybody. Now she's going to die like a dog in her condo because of her son's greed. Is there anyway to alert the authorities of this situation? Can they come and take her to a facility and use her assets to pay for her medical care? Looking at what this man is doing to his mother, I'm scared for my old age. How do we prevent ourselves from our children's greed?

Last edited by lauren123; 01-31-2009 at 10:35 AM..
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Old 01-31-2009, 09:16 AM
 
336 posts, read 682,287 times
Reputation: 297
Can you organize a little group, or just by yourself, and start helping her out?
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Old 01-31-2009, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 30,738,526 times
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How do you protect yourself from greedy kids? Do what my husband's uncle did. Don't leave them much.

I can't understand or justify a child not making sure a parent is taken care of but I do understand protecting her estate. When my father needed nursing home care, they took everything. It would have been wiser of my step mother to have paid for his care until the money ran out and then filed for help from the state. She would have had more left had she done that. Everything costs more and you get less service when you involve the government.

As to getting help for her, I'd call the police. I don't know who else to call. They should respond and check up on her.
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Old 01-31-2009, 09:20 AM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,914,706 times
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IMO take her to the nearest ER. That should get the ball rolling if she is in this type of physical state. If you do not want to personally do this I am sure the police can help you. Take action, you may ease the suffering. If you are a mandatory reporter you have no choice. Good luck.
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Old 01-31-2009, 09:23 AM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,847 posts, read 30,360,608 times
Reputation: 22356
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren123 View Post
A 91 year old mother in California is suffering from severe dementia and her situation is deteriorating rapidly as we speak. She has turned from a decent, beautiful and clean lady to a filthy, smelly, unkempt woman with sores on her body. She lives alone in a condo. She needs 24/7 care in a facility immediately but in that case, the state is going to take over all her assets. Her son who is more worried about losing his inheritance, is busy with attorneys trying to protect her assets. It's been three months and it seems that it will be some more months before his paperwork is done, and she will eventually be sent to a facility by his son. The problem is she might not be alive by then. She is considered a danger to herself by her doctor and he recommended her to be in a facility as soon as possible. She had lived a good life, been a good mother and grandmother, and shown nothing but kindness and sweetness to everybody. Now she's going to die like a dog in her condo because of her son's greed. Is there anyway to alert the authorities of this situation? Can they come and take her to a facility and use her assets to pay for her medical care? Looking at what this man is doing to his mother, I'm scared for my old age. How do we prevent ourselves from our children's greed?
Well, you could always be like me and choose to be blissfully childfree. LOL

Please, let me print this out so I can hand it to people who say.... "But who will take care of you when you are old". As if I didn't have more than enough examples to share already.

To answer your question, make sure that you have your estated TAKEN CARE OF long before you need to do it. Have a living trust prepared to handle things when you no longer can. It is not foolproof but it certainly will help.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 01-31-2009, 09:27 AM
 
733 posts, read 1,722,974 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren123 View Post
A 91 year old mother in California is suffering from severe dementia and her situation is deteriorating rapidly as we speak. She has turned from a decent, beautiful and clean lady to a filthy, smelly, unkempt woman with sores on her body. She lives alone in a condo. She needs 24/7 care in a facility immediately but in that case, the state is going to take over all her assets. Her son who is more worried about losing his inheritance, is busy with attorneys trying to protect her assets. It's been three months and it seems that it will be some more months before his paperwork is done, and she will eventually be sent to a facility by his son. The problem is she might not be alive by then. She is considered a danger to herself by her doctor and he recommended her to be in a facility as soon as possible. She had lived a good life, been a good mother and grandmother, and shown nothing but kindness and sweetness to everybody. Now she's going to die like a dog in her condo because of her son's greed. Is there anyway to alert the authorities of this situation? Can they come and take her to a facility and use her assets to pay for her medical care? Looking at what this man is doing to his mother, I'm scared for my old age. How do we prevent ourselves from our children's greed?
If you know this woman, and you are sure of the condition she is living in, call the cops. Neglect is neglect at any age, and if she needs help they are the ones who can get it for her despite her sons greed.....
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Old 01-31-2009, 09:27 AM
 
67 posts, read 158,520 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by joyBeing View Post
Can you organize a little group, or just by yourself, and start helping her out?
I live three thousands miles away
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Old 01-31-2009, 09:31 AM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,914,706 times
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You can still call the authorities for a welfare check, or are you blowing smoke.
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Old 01-31-2009, 09:34 AM
 
67 posts, read 158,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoLoveLost View Post
If you know this woman, and you are sure of the condition she is living in, call the cops. Neglect is neglect at any age, and if she needs help they are the ones who can get it for her despite her sons greed.....
I have her son's email saying that she had human feces on the floor in her condo, and was outside one morning in her underwear in 40 degree weather because she thought people were chasing her with knives in her condo. And one day she had knives in her hands standing by the door to protect herself from imaginary burglars. She is a danger to herself and to others who might knock on the door innocently.
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Old 01-31-2009, 09:47 AM
 
733 posts, read 1,722,974 times
Reputation: 443
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren123 View Post
I have her son's email saying that she had human feces on the floor in her condo, and was outside one morning in her underwear in 40 degree weather because she thought people were chasing her with knives in her condo. And one day she had knives in her hands standing by the door to protect herself from imaginary burglars. She is a danger to herself and to others who might knock on the door innocently.
As I said, you should call the police where she lives and have them do a welfare check. Explain your concerns and read them the email. If they can do something for her they will ( sounds very much like they can from what you are saying). They can also offer suggestions for what you can do (if anything).
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